Written for Bordge's "Red Love Chair" challenge over on the IshiIchi (Shinigami to Quincy) community on LJ.

Probably has a few errors :D

Disclaimer - I dont own Bleach, thats Kubo Tite's job.

Warnings - Contains male/male sexual content, if you dont like this then you're in the wrong place! You have been warned.


"How about this one?" the Shinigami asked, spreading his limbs languidly out on the fabric beneath him.

Ishida stopped and addressed Ichigo with the same disdainful look he had done for all of the previous sofas, simply raising a solitary eyebrow at the stupidity of the boy.

The sofa in question was a black and yellow affair. The two contrasting colours striped across it in a predatory fashion. It looked mean and completely uninviting, almost spitting its self at anyone who dared to lay eyes on it. If it had been anywhere else Ichigo would probably have ended up its latest victim, said object impaling poison stingers in unpleasant places and slowly digesting him from the inside out.

"Okay." Ichigo replied to the stare, completely unperturbed by the fifth or sixth, 'No' from Ishida and energetically got up, scouring the floor for something else. After a moment his eyes brightened and he was off, weaving in and out of the other customers and stopped in front of another offering.

It took Ishida a moment to catch up, he'd already lost Ichigo once, having to find him by reiatsu and he'd be damned if he was going to allow the rascal to escape him again.

Once he'd caught up he saw Ichigo sitting down with the most idiotic grin on his face. Ishida knew immediately that he wasn't serious, but nevertheless decided to have some fun.

The Shinigami was positioned slap bang in the middle of a fluffy pink sofa. Not only was it bright pink, but it also had white and red feathers sewn all over the cushions. If Ichigo wanted to make a statement, this sure was an excellent way to go about it.

It looked ridiculous, how was one supposed to be able to clean something like 'that' Ishida thought, as he ruffled his fingers in the 'fur' sprouting from it, feigning interest. Ichigo started to look a touch worried, the crazy smile faltering for a second. Ishida can't have thought he was serious, could he?

The Quincy continued to walk around the beast - for there was really no other word for it, it was simply hideous in every possible use of the word – inspecting it from every angle, as if he was checking to see if the construction was up to standards, giving out quiet "Mmms" and inquisitive "Hmms" as he went. The smile Ichigo wore a moment before had now completely changed, becoming the kind of smile someone uses when they think someone is joking, to then realise they are not.

"Ishida?" he said quietly.

"What is it Kurosaki? Can't you see that I'm busy?"

Ichigo felt his stomach drop a little.

"Busy? What do you mean busy, your not seriously thinking of buying it are you?"

"Why not?" Ishida asked slyly, "Is there something wrong with this sofa, you seemed very pleased with it when I found you."

Ichigo bristled, thinking mainly about keeping his masculinity intact.

"Idiot! I only wanted to see how you'd react, obviously I didn't expect you to fall in love with the thing. Although I should have known, someone like you, would fall for something like that."

Ishida pulled himself up from behind the upholstery and straightened himself out, his eyes narrowing to become two tiny slits.

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he cussed angrily, the mini spot lighting in the store making effective work of his glasses, providing a suitable level of glare towards Ichigo.

"Oh nothing." The redhead huffed, plonking himself down onto the armrest of the pink monster. Ishida sighed.

"Kurosaki, in case you haven't noticed, we are here for a purpose. What we are not here for, is to go gallivanting around and jumping on each and every of the most unsuitable pieces of furniture this store has to offer. I also seem to remember it was entirely your fault we are here in the first place. So if you don't mind. I would appreciate it if we could get this sorted as fast as possible. I don't want to be here any more then you do."

Ichigo went into 'Ishida lecture mode' after the second syllable, immediately noticing the way the Quincy had rolled out his name. Knowing full well what was about to come. 'Ishida lecture mode' was good for keeping a cool head, but it also had a numbing effect, momentarily filtering out the majority of what was said.

"You got that Kurosaki?" Ishida prodded, wanting to see some sort of reaction.

"Yeah, yeah I'll stop messing around, lets just get this thing sorted."

Slowly bits of what Ishida had said came back to him.

"Wait a minute," He said holding up a finger, Ishida turning to face him. "The hell do you mean my fault? I don't seem to remember you complaining when you jumped me lying down."

Ishida frowned with a moderate amount of detest, realising that Ichigo hadn't listened to a word of it.

"Yes Kurosaki, your fault, its not my problem if you cannot control your own body."

"My body?!" Ichigo let forth exasperated. "I wouldn't have had a problem controlling anything if you hadn't been doing THAT in close proximity to something else."

By this time their raised voices had turned quite a few heads, a small assortment of people even putting down their bags and inching closer, as if to prepare themselves for a show.

"Kurosaki." Ishida paled, upon noticing they had an audience, the redhead totally oblivious.

"What now huh? You gonna tell me how its was my fault your neighbours complained about the noise? I don't recall you being against that idea either."

"Kurosaki." Ishida repeated more firmly. "Would you notice where we are please."

"Wha'?" Ichigo answered looking confused, then glanced around and let out a quiet "oh." He almost died on the spot, his face turning crimson.

The crowd made themselves scarce, having been discovered and dissipated at a rather alarming rate, turning back to what they were doing.

Ichigo sheepishly walked up to Ishida and took one of the others hands into his own, an apology already written on his face. Arguing with Ishida was one thing, they did that even at the best of times, but publicly humiliating him was another.

"Look, I'm sorry." He said softly. "I didn't realise where we were for a moment and went too far."

Ishida already having had enough, decided to simply accept this humble gesture and smiled faintly, squeezing Ichigo's hand.

"Hmm I guess it was my fault as much as it was yours, but lets just get this sorted alright? And preferably choose something that wont break so easily."


The previous sofa had been an old relic that Ishida held onto fondly. It had also been one of the few items he was allowed to take with him when he'd originally moved in. So it was to his great delight that Ichigo appeared to like it as much as he did, the Shinigami spending most of his time (apart from when in Ishida's bed) lounging around between its aged cushions. Ichigo said he liked it because it was old, all the support the rickety thing once had almost completely gone. It made for a very comfortable, albeit not very practical place to sit. Something that Ichigo's back would attest to, having spent the odd night on it and waking up, stiff as a board.

At the time Ichigo had been lying on said couch fast asleep, his limbs sprawled all over it, the position tugging tightly at his clothing. It was midday, but Ichigo hadn't got a lot of sleep from hunting hollows. Ishida meanwhile, had nipped out to return a book somewhere, and although they had something planned for later that day, Ichigo was just too sleepy and had drifted off.

Ishida returned to the sight and couldn't help himself. Ichigo's clothes had been pulled around in all the right places, revealing inviting patches of flesh. The skin's effect was of being an irresistible tease and one that Ishida found himself helplessly drawn too, wanting to desperately reveal more of the human feast.

Ichigo barely had enough time to yelp as the Quincy jumped on him, pulling at their clothing and smashing their lips together in an uncontrollable frenzy. Ichigo could've thought of worse ways to be woken up, but he would have at least liked some warning. Ishida often rose first, waking Ichigo with soft kisses, delicately placing them on any available skin he could find. That was sweet and endearing, this however was something completely different and Ichigo was a bit put out that he wasn't awake to give it his full attention.

The next thing Ichigo noticed was that they were both very naked, Ishida already having done a very efficient job of removing their clothes, and was now glistening magnificently on top of him. Glistening, but also appeared to be struggling with something. Ichigo then realised that Ishida was the only one totally naked and that he was still wearing his pants.

'Well that's not fair' he thought indignantly, and clearly neither did Ishida. He was frantically trying to get them off, becoming more and more frustrated as he was denied what he wanted.

The pants in question were a rather tight pair of jeans and Ichigo, being several inches down in cushion, made it next to impossible for them to be removed, at least by any external force.

'A flamethrower?' Ishida pondered between tugs, 'or maybe a chainsaw?' Both would probably work he surmised, but he didn't own either and that presented him with a problem. They would also most likely remove or incinerate what he was after too, so those ideas were out.

"I know I bought these for you, saying how attractively you'd fill them out." The Quincy said, pausing in his plight to firmly grope at Ichigo's groin, as if to highlight what he meant. "But very little else is going to happen here, if you don't help me get them off."

Ichigo had now woken up just enough to actually make sense of what Ishida was attempting to do, and in return arched his body, allowing the constricting material to be swiftly dealt with.

Before Ichigo could even lower back down, Ishida had pounced, latching his mouth around Ichigo's cock, sucking hungrily, his tongue dancing around the head in an almost erratic fashion. The effect on Ichigo was electric, the wanton desire obviously emanating from his boyfriend causing his penis to jump immediately to attention.

"That's better." Ishida panted, pulling away, a wicked grin appearing on his face as his tongue drew one final circle about the corona, making Ichigo twitch. "Now I can fuck myself."

Ichigo didn't know where Ishida had managed to get the lube from, he guessed down the back of the sofa, but right now he really didn't care. Ishida was putting the slippery substance to good use, rapidly preparing himself and before Ichigo knew it, Ishida had lowered himself down and was bouncing merrily about his hardness and moaning loudly with each pass.

All Ichigo could do was sit there and watch as he was pounded further and further down into the sofa. He was, for all intents and purposes, completely boxed in, the sofa locking him in place. His feet and shoulders were each pressed tightly into an armrest, whilst his back lay lost in fabric. This only left his front side free, which currently had a horny teenager stuck to it. Even if Ichigo had wanted to move, not a lot was going to let that happen, least of all Ishida.

A moment later and the brunette shuddered and cried out, spurting all over Ichigo's chest, the convulsions rippling through his body tightening the grip he held on Ichigo's cock. This small increase in pressure being all it took to push Ichigo over the edge, his entire body becoming rigid as waves of pleasure began to pulse through him.

This is where it could have been a pretty perfect moment, Ishida collapsing down to lie snugly against Ichigo's chest, however that would have been too easy. Instead the pressure caused by Ichigo's body, was enough to destroy whatever integrity the old couch had left. The arm rests snapping off with a resounding crack, flying away with great force and crashing boldly about the rest of the living room. That wasn't the worst part though as the arm rests acted as the central pieces the whole couch was held together by. The seating part fixed in place above ground level to each end, with the backrest attached to all three. So instead of collapsing down on top of Ichigo, Ishida found his boyfriend falling out from beneath him and ended up sandwiched between the backrest - which fell on top of him as everything it was secured to suddenly vanished – and Ichigo.

"Well." Ishida muffled against sweaty tanned skin. "That's certainly never happened before."

All Ichigo could manage was to mumble something incoherent and then started to snore.


The Shinigami and Quincy walked side by side around the shop floor, looking at everything as they went. Ichigo had now calmed down and simply accompanied his partner, watching him, as he considered everything they passed

Ishida was sort of welcoming the change in Ichigo, having grown tired of his childish and far too enthusiastic behaviour. They were only shopping for an oversized chair, what was there to get so excited about? Although he did worry that he'd been a little hard on him, after all Ichigo was just trying to have some fun.

Ishida needn't have given it a second's thought though as Ichigo suddenly darted off towards something that had piqued his interest. Ishida this time choosing to smile and rolled his eyes, no matter what happened it was impossible to still Ichigo.

Ishida had seen where Ichigo was heading and stopped himself a short distance away and stood, watching as his other half fiddled with what he'd found.

Ichigo looked up a minute later, after having figured out how to operate what he was sitting in. The joy he had found in playing with the object of his current desire was plastered all over his face and noticing Ishida standing there, looking somewhat surprised, only caused to make his smile grow larger.

"Hey." Ichigo shouted out amused, pointing at the chair next to him. "Come join me?"

No matter how Ishida fought, he couldn't stop the infectious grin Ichigo bore from creeping up the sides of his mouth.

"Now press this button." Ichigo instructed and Ishida let out a small cry of surprise as his legs were hoisted off the ground. Ichigo smirked, Ishida bopped him on the head.

"You knew that was going to happen didn't you?" he asked, pretending to be annoyed.

Ichigo snorted and laughed heartily.

A few minutes later and Ishida had also mastered the controls, both of them now sitting/lying/sitting/lying in the electronic chairs. Neither of them content to simply leave the position as it was, one going up as the other went down, in a sort of two man Mexican wave. Both knew that the chairs were far too expensive and completely impractical to actually buy, but they were having fun all the same.

"Where to now then?" Ichigo asked after resetting his chair back to its original position, offering his hand out to Ishida.

"I don't think we have been over there yet." The Quincy answered, taking advantage of Ichigo's hand and pointing to an unfamiliar area.

"Right, over there it is then."

Quite how the two had managed to avoid this location was beyond anything either could figure out. It was the stores discount section, for all the things that were apparently "out of fashion". But to Ishida most of them looked more suitable then the vast majority of what the designers had cooked up in the rest of the store. Adding to that he really didn't have a huge budget, so the sales section made perfect sense. Ishida was just contemplating where to start, when Ichigo zipped off, 'Here we go again' he thought as he walked off, following where the other teen had gone.

Ichigo stopped abruptly and sat down, spreading himself out on what he'd found, as if he was at home. Ishida looked at what Ichigo was splayed out on and felt slightly irritated, hadn't anything he'd been saying got through? It appeared not.

Ishida seated himself, occupying the remaining space and let out a small sigh.

"Ichigo." He started, and then fell silent. 'Where to begin?' he thought, wanting to handle this in a reasonable way, rather then starting an argument.

"Ichigo." He began again a second time. "When we arrived at this store, I was looking to find something discrete, something light in colour, without any complicated patterns. Something welcoming, that will blend in."

"This however." He said, motioning his hands in a way as to leave no confusion to what he was talking about. "This is a conspicuous sofa designed to stick out, this sofa is bright red, scarlet even, this isn't something you can simply hide away, I don't think you could hide it, even if you tried." Ishida paused for breath and gave it some quick thought.

"Perhaps you could hide it, but then the entire décor would have to be just as bright as the sofa.." Ishida shuddered at this thought and realised he had deviated from his point.

"Do you get what I'm saying?" he asked, noticing Ichigo's posture slump a little.

"Yes." Ichigo replied quietly, eliciting a small cough before continuing. "The other sofas were just a joke, I was playing around. But this…" he continued, a subtle change apparent in his voice, a slight overconfidence that really belied uncertainty. "I like this one. It's loud and out of place, just like me. And as this is the first thing we are buying together, even though it's for your place, I wanted it to stand out, you know? Something we can remember. I mean I don't exactly fit in either, but I'm nice to have around aren't I?"

Whatever Ishida had been expecting, it certainly wasn't that and it left him feeling completely derailed. Then he looked at the sofa and cringed, before breaking out into a radiant smile. 'Only for Ichigo' he thought.


A week later found Ichigo waiting excitedly in Ishida's flat, so full of energy he could barely sit still.

"Are you okay?" A deep voice boomed quietly from a camping stool, positioned where the old couch used to be. Emergency Temporary Seating, Isshin called it when he had blustered, uninvited, through Ishida's front door wielding some old camping supplies. Kurosaki major had then grinned idiotically and set up the rickety objects, standing proudly before his handy work with an accomplished smile.

"No need to thank me!" he bellowed before the two windswept teens. "We all know how much Ichigo loves his Daddy and how brilliant he thinks he is!" Isshin giving a wink towards his son, before taking his leave and bouncing down the road in high spirits. The two teens had just sat there staring blankly at one another at what they had just witnessed, then got up off the floor.

"Are you okay?" the deep voice repeated.

"It's going to arrive soon!" Ichigo answered this time, noticing his friend's concerned tone.

"Alright." Sado replied. "But it is only a sofa, don't you think you're getting a little bit worked up?"

Ichigo's brow furrowed, before glaring towards his unflappable friend and sat himself down on one third of the ETS.

"You're almost as bad as Ishida." He commented before immediately jumping back up and looked out of the window for any sight of a removal van.

Ishida had tried to be there for the arrival of the red beast, but unfortunately something had come up, robbing Ichigo of the company. Chad had offered to take his place, providing some extra muscle should it be needed.

"Oh!" Ichigo squeaked in a way more resembling Kon then himself. "I think its here."

"Quick get away from the window!" Chad jested in his usual placid demeanour, "You don't want them to think you've been waiting!"

"Right!" Ichigo complied brightly in his enthusiasm, sitting back down, far too worked up into a state where he would practically agree to anything. Then he realised what Chad was meaning and immediately got back up.

"And why should I care if they think I'm a lunatic who gets excited over furniture? This isn't about what it is, but what it represents. They could be delivering a mottled flightless purple flamingo from Shanghai for all I care."

Then there came a rap on the door and Ichigo froze.

"Answer it for me would you?" the redhead asked nervously, going from one extreme to another.

Chad groaned, rolling his eyes and carefully picked himself up off the camping stool and walked over to the door.

"You ordered a red couch right?" the man on the other side asked mechanically. 'Too many days in the same job' Chad thought absently before giving an affirmative grunt and went out to help the man carry the object in. Ichigo, all the while provided them with directions about how to manoeuvre the thing in the tight space.

After a few thoughtful moments of pulling and pushing and the sofa was in place. It was in almost the same location that the old one had been, only this time Ichigo made sure it was a little closer to the television.

"Well," the Shinigami said, breathing a sigh of relief and making use of the newly acquired furniture. "Thanks for giving me a hand with this."

"Mmm anytime." Chad rumbled back in response.

"You want a drink or something?" Ichigo offered.

"That would be nice, but I can't stay, I have somewhere else I need to be. But thanks for the offer." Chad reaching over to where his coat was hung, pulling the article on but leaving it unfastened.

"Thanks again for the help then." Ichigo spoke out, getting up and following his friend to the door.

"Like I said, anytime, but now I must be off, b' bye."

"Have fun with whatever it is you've got planned!" Ichigo yelled out, as his friend walked off, Chad turning round to give a small wave.

Ichigo lay there on the couch, channel hopping. He really hadn't intended to spend most of his afternoon jumping between children's cartoons (which he still found ridiculously entertaining, even though he'd never admit to it) and a cooking channel, but he really didn't have much left to do. He'd already tried sitting in every sensible position he could think of, and some less practical, in which he almost got stuck. But he had quickly realised there was only a certain amount of entertainment a sofa could provide and had opted to turn on the television as he waited for Ishida. The cartoons had quickly ended and Ichigo found himself slowly falling asleep. Every so often the T.V. would bring him out of his light slumber, but after the third or forth time he was gone.

Ichigo woke up not so long after, staring groggily out and found Ishida putting down a bag of shopping.

"This is what happens." His boyfriend started, hanging his coat on a hook and shaking his shoes free. "When you wake up at five in the morning too excited to go back to sleep."

Ichigo replied with a sleepy smile and held out his arms in an obvious gesture.

"Join me?" he asked whilst yawning.

Ishida answered with a smile of his own and walked over to join Ichigo, lying down in front of him as the two snuggled together.

"So what do you think then?" Ichigo murmured lazily as the two settled, his head resting on Ishida's shoulder, arms wrapped about his waist.

"I think I'll be able to live with it." Ishida replied, as if more was to come.

"But?" Ichigo nudged when no more came.

"Mmm" Ishida hummed replete and closed his eyes.

"But, only if you come with it."

Ichigo grinned, and gently placed a kiss on Ishida's cheek.