Author's Note- Okay basically this story is like Freaky Friday (That god awful movie that keeps getting worse with each remake) cept it's with Invader Zim and Psychonauts (and it has nothing to do with appreciating the other person). For those of you who don't know what that is, basically two characters switch places somehow (In this story it's due to a mishap in the mental world...instead of gypsy magic or wishing on a shooting star.) I started it a while ago...last year I think.

Psychonauts is (C) of Tim Schaffer and Double Fine.

Invader Zim is (C) of Jhonen Vasquez and unfortunately Nickelodeon.

Chapter One:

The Door That Should Not Have Been Closed


The hall winded on and on, twisting and turning upside down so that if one were to stare at it's progress for too long, it would make their eyes water and ache. Occasionally there would be a door or a small window that would reveal a wretched plain of dying trees with branches that reached out like claws and a broken sky. The whole thing, though obviously familiar was visibly damaged and wrong. It was, by some twisted mind, supposed to resemble a train. A horrible train that never ended and went forever into a world of terror and madness.

The only visible life was the occasional outline throughout the many cars. A form of a human that was partly shadow and partly a broken or damaged line. Then, there was the conductor, miles and miles away at the front of the train. Aside from them, there was no one…no one who belonged there anyway.

The government is mysterious enough as it is without having to calculate the secret society's within it that remain hidden from the public at all costs. One of those groups was an unique cluster of agents dealing solely, with problems of the mind. The correct term for these people were Psychonauts. Psychonauts were people who were born with supernatural powers and cast from society as human irregularities.

As it were a group of them were moving through the dark hallways. Three of them were fairly tall, ranging from the ages of 18 and 37. The fourth was considerably shorter and younger. He was wearing a pair of red goggles and had a set expression on his face.

Razputin Aquato had joined The Psychonauts a year before at the age of ten. He was the youngest to be admitted in the groups history. At first, they had been quite cautious about making him one, but after he had rescued two of The Psychonauts top agents, the brains of all of the children at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, and The Grand Head of the Psychonaut's daughter Lili from a mad man…(not too mention Truman Zanotto himself after he had officially been named as one) people were slowly beginning to accept the idea of a child as young as him working for the government.

The mission he was currently on was the first one in a long time. He couldn't blow it. At his age, mistakes were not acceptable.

As the serious agents stalked through the abandoned train warily, Raz followed behind, silently looking for something that would permit him to break away from the group. He didn't like trailing overly serious agents. They lacked imagination. And when you found yourself in the mind of a mad man…you had to be imaginative. Walking through the mind of a mad man was like walking through the nightmare of a young child. EVERYTHING could see you and ANYTHING could happen.

Through the shadows Raz spotted a broken gap on the ceiling of the car. He grinned and going unnoticed by the adult Psycho soldiers, he fell behind and then vanished within the shadows. As the three men continued, Raz leapt up toward the gap and pulled himself up to the top of the train. The wind whipped his purplish reddish hair across his face as he balanced on the steal curves of the train's crown. It wasn't hard for him. He had grown up in the circus and therefore was very sure footed. The first thing he noticed was that, although on the inside, the train appeared to go one for ages (They had already walked through nearly fifty cars.) the outside was quite small. He grinned.

He saw the head of the train was a mere five cars away; the windows alight with an eerie luminosity.

For a moment, the haughty part of his mind almost took over, beckoning him to go on by himself, seizing and reprimanding the personification that awaited him in the conductor's car, without the aid of the others. He shook this thought off immediately. Leaving the party was one thing. To take on a full mission by himself was foolish. Even if he could do it…the last thing he wanted was to make more enemies among his peers.

He closed his eyes and set up a mental link with the current leader of the their small group. After a moment, he could see clearly into the older man's mind.

Agent Castor? The words formed neatly in mental waves as they traveled to the older mans mind. Raz sensed confusion, realization and then finally frustration from the him.

Agent Aquato? Where are you? Why have you separated form the group…again? Even in mental tones his voice was harsh.

Sorry, sir, but I found a more efficient way to the head of the train. Raz wasn't surprised that this statement induced even more anger in the man's mental frequency waves.

Razputin, if you do not return to the group this minute, we will continue without you and will, in turn, not be held responsible for what trouble you may fall into. Do you understand?

Raz considered this for a moment.

Yes sir. He sent back.

Good, we're not going to wait for you…so make haste.

Raz felt the mental link broken between them. He stood on the top of the train for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Looks like I'm on my own again." He said quietly to himself before mentally preparing himself for whatever lay ahead. It often went like this. Unless he was with people he knew, people who were aware of his capabilities and didn't consider him to be nothing but a mere child, no one ever listened to him. He thought the reason was because, when you were a senior agent, the last thing you wanted was to be shown up by eleven year old. So, instead of considering his views, they tried to keep him below them, by ignoring even his better idea's, for the sake of their own pride.

Of course, Raz was not completely innocent of this. His desire to prove himself often drove him to repeatedly ignore the orders of his superiors. He often got lectured about this behavior. (Most of the time by Agent Nein, who above many things considered order and balance to be most important.) But as many people had discovered in the past, Raz's determination ruled over every part of his consciousness. It wasn't that he wanted to do everything on his own, he was always glad to work with someone else, but whenever he was put in a party with men who considered him to be far inferior to them, it drove him to prove to them just how wrong they were.

Raz stood over the conductor's car. Without much thought, he applied his invisibility and swung himself into the window with all of the grace of a true acrobat.


The channels of the large television changed rapidly, giving the viewer no time at all to soak in anything that was displayed. Still, the small robot ginned broadly with his tongue slightly out and occasionally pronounced (Quite loudly.) that the current program was his "favorite show."

After about an hour of this, the doorbell rang and the robot hopped down from the couch and into a small adorably plushy like dog costume, which he zipped up before shuffling towards the door and answering it.

"Ergh…ugh…pizza." An oily teen said, each word coming out as something of a labor.

"PIZZA!" Gir screeched into the teen's pimply face before grabbing the pizza from the man and throwing him a handful of earth money. The teen took a minute or two to count the dollars in his hands (All the while, Gir had opened the box and was currently devouring the cheesy mess.) before looking up.

"Your…ergh…short two dollars." The teen exclaimed, giving Gir an expecting look. The robot looked up from his pizza and smiled.

"Your heads greasy." He exclaimed happily. Behind him, Zim, who had gotten the doorbell warning in his lab a minute or two before, had quickly thrown on his disguise and was currently storming towards Gir and the pizza delivery boy angrily. He stepped in front of the door; nudging Gir out of the way as he did and stared up at the teenager is disgust.

"Your…uh…your dog is short two dollars." The teen said slowly. Zim, was glaring at him as though he had said some horribly obscene thing.

"If…Ergh…you don't pay all of the tab…I have to take the pizza back." (This statement was hardly threatening, considering Gir had finished most of the pizza by then.) Zim seemed to be losing a battle with himself as he fought back the urge to threaten the teenager with removing his limbs and experimenting on his hideous earthling carcass. Finally, he put on as sincere a face as he could (Which was not very effective.) and responded to the filthy teenager.

"Yes, of course, hideous earth creature, I'll get you your filthy earth moneys so that you can be on your way." Zim left the door for a moment, returning after grabbing two of the earth dollars and distributing them to the teenager, who was looking around a little uneasily.

"Uh…thanks for choosing…ergh…Bloaty's, we app-" Zim slammed the door on the teenagers face before he could finish. After a moment of stunned silence, the teenager turned and left, looking a little dejected.

"Agh! Filthy grease monkey!" Zim said angrily as he kicked at the air. "Gir!" The robot, who had shed his dog disguise, finished off the remains of his pizza and hurried to him masters side. For a moment, the bluish glow of his eyes flashed red.

"Yes sir?" He said, his voice changing as he slipped, for a few moments into duty mode.

"What have I told you about letting humans into our base?" The robots, eyes flashed back to their regular azure hue and he grinned broadly.

"Ah don't remember!!" he pronounced proudly. Zim sighed.

"Of course you don't." Zim said wearily. "Now I'm going to tell you again, Gir. Earth is our enemy. We are here to destroy it. We are not here to enjoy it's FILTHY Pizza FILTH!! Nor are we here to interact with any of the horrible earth things…outside of annihilating them. Understand?"

"Mm hmm" Gir agreed happily.

Outside came the merry tune of the ice cream truck. Gir grinned.

"ICE CREAM." He ran past his master, who was shouting protests as the robot threw open the door and ran towards the large multi colored truck. Zim watched him, marveling out how stupid the little robot could be sometimes, before slumping over in defeat as the robot bought his ice cream and headed back into the house.

"Want some, master?" The robot asked, while holding out a dripping stick of sugary ice, shaped in the form of a smiling clown. Zim shivered in disgust and pushed it away from him. He closed the door and put on one of the locks before tossing Gir an angry look and heading back towards his lab.

Gir followed him, licking at his treat and looking all together too adorable for the small alien to stomach.

"Whatcha working on master?" Gir asked as they stepped into the elevator and Zim tossed off his human façade.

"Do you remember last Halloween, when that Dib thing pulled me into that alternate universe inside his grubby human mind?" Zim asked, intending to answer the robots question.

"No." Gir answered happily. Zim ignored him.

"I'm currently working out a way to use that to my advantage. If a world exists in every human mind, then maybe I can use it to gain control of the flesh beasts and bend them to my whim." Zim smiled evilly.

Gir finished of his pop sickle and was currently poking his master in his scrawny arm with it.

"Stop it, Gir." Zim said gallingly.

"Oki." The elevator stopped and he followed his master onto the platform as the alien headed over to the master computer.

"How are you going to get into the minds without Dib's BIG head?" Gir asked.

"Hmm…true. The Dib human's head is more massive then usual." Zim said, considering this. "And, I've proven through thorough research with that happy earthling I put in the tube that simply drilling a hole into the head will not suffice." As he said this he looked at the tanks where he kept his human specimens. Few occupied the glass casing.

"But when I went into the Dib things mind, we simply vanished. I have already acquired that thing from Dibs dirty house. Maybe there's an instruction manual…but that would mean going to…his house."

"Well he sneaks into your house all the time!" Gir said happily. Zim cringed and glared at the robot.

"I was simply caught of guard…all…of those times. It will not happen again!" Zim said while shaking his fist.

"That's what you always say!" Gir screeched. Zim's shoulders slumped.

"Gir, go upstairs and…I dunno…do something else." Girl squealed and ran to the elevator, leaving Zim to ponder over his current predicament. He walked over to the dresser in the middle of his living room and pressed the wall at random. It flipped up and revealed a tunnel down into the depths of his house. A hovering disk stopped at the top and Zim stepped onto it. When it reached the bottom of the shaft, Zim stepped off of it and headed towards a large computer.

"Computer, I need some information on this thing from Dib's house." Zim held up a small device as he asked.

"It appears to be an advanced mechanism for seeing into one's own subconscious. It's use is undetermined."

"Undetermined? What is this…subconscious you speak of?"

"Some humans believe that an alternate reality exists inside the human mind and that each mind is connected in what has been called the collective subconscious. This is…this…Zim are you listening?"

"Wha? No I wasn't sorry." Zim said as he examined his gloved hand. The computer sighed.

"So your saying that with this thing I can control the minds of every filthy human on the planet? I'll do it!"

"Zim, that's…not what I said."

"Silence! Is there way I can enter into this…other dimension…without winding up in the Dib's nightmarish head?"

"Technically, yes, but sending your psyche into the collective subconscious without experience is highly dangerous…I would recommend it."

"Your not here so you can give me advice, computer. You're here to obey. Tell me how to…do that thing…you just said…I shouldn't do."

"Well, technically if you plug it in, I should be able to reset it's basic function. Then, instead of just seeing the other world, your mind will be projected into it. But there's no guarantee where you'll wind up…and it might be difficult to find your way back into your head…Zim!"

"Huh, what? Sorry I zoned out on ya there…yes…it's brilliant." He said to himself.

"It probably won't work." The computer said in a deep mechanical voice.

"Shut up and start the process." He said as he plugged the device in.

"…" After a few moments of silence Zim began to tap his foot.


The man conducting the train was large, his tattered train uniform hung off of him in large strips. He didn't seem to be doing anything of use. In front of him were two levers, both of them plain, almost seeming to come out of a child's imagination. One was red and one was yellow. He was pulling on both of them, pushing them forward and backward.

When Raz reached the front of the train he went invisible and quietly lowered himself into the window. He looked around until he saw a huge lever in the corner, obviously a brake. Then, without much hesitation, he grabbed it telekinetically and pulled on it. There was a long, mournful creak, but would not budge. Just then, Raz's invisibility wore off and the Train man noticed him.

"Argh! Intruder…a small infant, no more then a baby, let it not concern us. He stopped the train though, he did. Sorry wee spawn, but if I've told him once, I've told him a hundred times, there's no getting off this train."

"Okay, you obviously have issues buddy." Raz said as he pulled his goggles over his eyes.

"The train must not stop. James will be here forever. Yes forever. Spiraling onward and onward till we reach the bridge."

"Are you afraid to fight me or do you just like hearing yourself talk?" Raz got into a fighting position. The man grinned with a mouthful of crooked teeth. His eyes, which were bright yellow, flashed out of his misshapen skull, bulging and mad. He lunged at Raz in an attempt to take hold of him. Raz leapt out of his way. It was easy enough, the man was slow and stupid in movement. Raz mind blasted him. The man fell back against a lever, sending it forward. The door behind Raz opened, revealing the landscape, a mad and winding thing speeding by. It blurred. In the distant the glow of milky lights could be seen, a neighborhood? Another part of James' mind.

"Sorry little intruder, this now ends. Meet your premature death." He lunged forward again. Raz thought quickly and grabbed the man telekinetically and without much thought, pulled him up and with every bit of his psychic energy heaved the man over his head, ducking in the process. The man screamed, and, with ripped uniform flapping around him, fell into the frightening darkness beyond the train.

Raz straightened and took a few hesitant steps toward the door.

"Looks like this was your stop." He said silently. He pulled a lever and the door shut, cutting off the breeze around him. He then returned to the brake and took it in both gloved hands. After some struggling I shot forward and the train slowly came to a halt.


"The process is complete." Zim looked up at his computer.

"Finally." He said irately. He examined the new contraption for a moment. "I'm brilliant!" He shouted, before stepping towards it. "How does this thing work?"

"Well…you should be able to simply peer into the eyepiece and begin the process…but Zim, seriously, I think you should consider my warning."

"Yeah yeah, that's great." He said quickly as he looked into the eyepiece. "Computer start the process." Zim's computer let out what could have only been a lengthy sigh.

"Process Starting."


Raz headed back through the cars. There were less now. Whether this was because he was coming from the other direction, or because he got rid of the conductor was beyond him. Finally, he reached the car he was looking for. A trim blonde man sat, looking miserable. He was balding and wore tiny spectacles balanced on his slightly pointed nose. When Raz opened the door, he looked up, a look of terrified madness in his eyes.

"Mr. Camberlin."

"Yes? W-who are you? Why has the train stopped?" Raz walked slowly to the door and opened it. Outside, the scenery was still and silent.

"This is the last stop, Mr. Camberlin. All passengers off." Raz said. The man got shakily to his feet and pointed at the door cautiously. Raz nodded. The man flashed a mad smile and walked unsteadily to the exit. Just then, the other Psychonauts entered. Raz turned towards them and gave them a guilty smile as the train door shut behind James.

Agent Castor gave Raz the tired and annoyed look of a man who has been disobeyed by someone…and then also showed up by them.

"Uhh…mission complete…sir. The negative voice in the back of James' head has been eliminated, the train has stopped and James is off." Castor's jaw tightened for a moment.

"Razputin, this is the fifth order I have given you that you have intentionally disobeyed. Return to real world through the Collective Subconscious immediately while we finish up here."

"But sir…"

"It would be wise if you did NOT avoid another one of my requests Razputin." Raz frowned and nodded.

"Yes sir." He said miserably.


After he activated the new mechanism Zim saw a blurred room, of apparent infinite size covered in doors. It lingered for a moment and faded, and then he was on a circular walkway with only a couple doors, all shut…except for one. Without any thought, because he didn't really understand any of it, he headed towards the open door.


Raz appeared in the Collective Subconscious moments after this occurred. He trudged dejectedly towards the place where his door stood, but…he must've gotten the wrong one. Raz looked around, confused. It looked like his door…but…it was closed. Raz turned around and eyed the number of doors hanging in mid air. They were all closed. He blinked and turned back to…what should have been his own. He grabbed the knob and pulled on it. It would not budge.

Then, he heard a strange whooshing sound. He spun around. A strange lone door had just materialized out of nowhere. Raz turned quickly and eyed the door cautiously. He tuned back to his own for a moment, and then towards James' door. It was also closed now. Puzzled, Raz headed towards the new door, seeing that there was nothing else to do.


I don't really expect that many reviews for this…really I'm just doing it for fun. Don't worry Cerebral Soldier readers, that story'll be first priority. This one's going to move slower. I actually had this up for about a week in the Invader Zim section, then I pulled it off because no on was really reading it. I read it back the other day and decided to alter the first chapter a bit and post it again…because I wanted to finish it. Hopefully, if you do read this you'll like it.