The Struggle to Live or Die
1/28/07

"To die would be a great adventure." - Peter Pan

I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more.
-- Cat Stevens

Serena couldn't feel anything. The world around her was spinning a tenfold of colors in every which direction and she couldn't get it to stop. She hadn't been aware of anything but blackness when suddenly her world burst into the kaleidoscope of sensations and colors. Just as suddenly though, everything froze and she could make out the swirls of colors and the lines that interweaved. She reached out her hand and didn't feel anything, she couldn't touch it, all she could see was her hand and it seemed like some distance between it and the colors that surrounded her to a claustrophobic amount.

Serena stalked forward and tried it again. Her hand went through the colors as if it was water, but it wasn't clear like water was. The colors seemed to swallow her hand and part of her arm. It was cool against her skin.

The walls changed again, and she was sinking through the colored ground. She fell through and landed on a grassy slope. The blades bit into her palms and she plucked one from the ground to see if it was real. The grass reminded her of the park she frequented, not ever really on a good basis, she was starting to hate it.

The sky wasn't blue. She realized with a start. Her feet were resting in the sand while her butt was on the grass and the blue water licked her feet as it came towards her and then away. The sky touched the water, hardly distinguishable as it seemed to join. The sky was a dark purple as if it was night with no stars or the moon.

But she could see everything as if they were lit directly but there was no source to the light. The world twisted around her again and she was in a building, there was a smoothie sitting in front of her and her hand was around the straw as her bottom lip brushed the tip. Her tongue retracted in shock. What kind of rabbit hole had she fallen through? Her hand moved away from the smoothie as if it burned even though it was cold to the touch. It was like she was Alice in Wonderland, nothing was making sense to her.

She pushed away from the counter, her chair rocked over and made a crash that scared her to the core. She turned towards the exit and as she reached the door the world settled again. This time she was someplace she didn't recognize. The ground below her was white, as if she was on a pure sand but it was hard, concrete almost but dusty. She willed the world to change again, but it didn't. She touched the ground, she ran around for a different idea, this place gave her the chills, as if she'd been here before, but nothing happened. It would not change for her, nor would it change again. She stopped running and got a look of what was around her, maybe her unconscious was trying to tell her something.

Serena pushed back a blond lock and lifted her chin. In front of her was a ruined palace, strangely reminiscent of the mausoleum Taj Mahal. A tall woman, regal looking in dress and posture left the grounds of the broken down palace. Reaching out a hand towards Serena, she came forward.

It hit Serena that the feet were pale like her in the winter, a creamy alabaster encased in silver shoes. The dress the woman wore covered her ankles but it didn't brush the ground. Her dress was a muted green, almost of a mint origin. It was of silk material and it hugged her curves, over her hips, slim waist and rounded bust. The arms were the same color as her feet and on the wrist of the outstretched hand was a silver bracelet with matching green cat-eye beads. It was a very cool look, distant and regal, meant to warn off people who may dare to come too close. It was at odds with the beckoning that invited Serena to come close, to even touch the woman.

A figure dropped down next to Serena, scaring her. Serena turned her head and caught sight of another tall woman, dressed in a deep purple dress and carrying a staff. Orchid eyes sought hers and Serena felt a calm hit her after her startled reaction. The purple tresses of the woman reached her hips. She swung the staff, and Serena's momentary reassurance evaporated in the fear that maybe she made a mistake.

The staff never reached her, it cut off the assent of the other woman from nearing Serena. Serena's head snapped from one woman to the other and back again.

A light started to shine over head, the sun was rising in this disserted place.

The hand that was still outstretched towards Serena, beckoned again, moving the fingers towards the owner in a rapid recession. Serena slowly looked between the two women, her eyes slowly moving towards the face of the one that invited her. Jade eyes stared out beneath a mane of expertly coiffed blood hair. A shudder went through Serena as she locked eyes with the woman, her body turned cold, beneath the outward appearance of pleasantry, lied a deviousness and hatred that Serena never experienced towards herself before. It was an unnatural feeling, one she hoped to never repeat.

Serena turned towards the other woman, and she nodded.

Serena turned around and tried to go back to where she came from but every step she took seemed to be matched by the world moving the other way so she could go no further, and stayed in one place.

Serena turned back towards the red haired woman, maybe she was supposed to take the woman's hand and see where it lead her. Serena touched the staff. It moved away when Serena released it.

A word was whispered on the wind, catching Serena's attention. Her head perked up and she looked around. The light was blinding her now as it grew and she had to look away. The woman's hand was still out-stretched but she did not come closer, well aware of the other woman.

"Go towards the light."

Serena looked to the woman that spoke, but she looked like she hadn't moved, her staff by her side and watching the interaction between Serena and the scary one.

"Isn't it a bad thing to go towards the light? Isn't that death?" Her tone was smart-alecky and no-nonsense.

"Serena, bloody hell." A female voice swore and she knew it didn't come from any of these strangers.

"Serena just come back!" Another voice shouted, and Serena was now aware of what the tingling sensation she had barely felt earlier was, it was voices wanting to be heard.

A warm presence came with the light. "Why would I go towards the light?" Serena asked the kinder looking woman. "I would rather live."

The orchid eyes looked slowly from Serena to the light and lowered her head to show Serena that it was what she suggested.

Serena's eyes swung towards the redhead and an evil smirk crossed her features and outstretched her hand once more.

Serena turned and took a running jump towards the light. She vaguely recognized both women's mouths moving and all she heard as the light assaulted her from all directions was a single word. Princess.