Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I don't want to. Too much responsibility.
A.N. Sooo…yeah, major block on other stories….its been what? Three months? Ha ha….I'm sorry everyone. TT Please forgive me I've been going through a lot of stress piled upon angst and family matters. I hope this little story makes you smile. It's based on my experiences on my birthday when I received a kitten, then had my danna over. So enjoy.
WARNING: BOY LOVE IN THIS STORY! DON'T LIKE IT!? FIND A DIFFERENT FIC!!!
My Little Dei-Chan
"Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea, un," thought the feminine blond artist as he watched a small black fuzzy mass chase one of his mobile sculptures.
Deidara had been graced with many skills and attributes. He was beautiful, stunning in fact. Creamy supple skin, piecing azure eyes, butter colored strands of elegant silk-like hair that stretched down to his waist, topped off with the reddest pair of lips one could imagine. Oh yes, he was a knockout, and most assuredly a he. His art would always come into play when one would mistake him for a her.
What was his art?
Explosions. Explosions of the grandest scale and kind.
But such a thing didn't matter, oh no. No matter who you were, what you looked like, or what criminal organization you belonged to….
…a kitten wouldn't give a damn. It would still climb up your coat, get into your clay, and love your danna more then it loved you.
Perhaps…this wasn't a good idea.
The clay master thought for a moment, back to when he first brought the kitten home to the Akatsuki base….
"Can I keep him? Pretty please, un?" Deidara's voice came in a whine as he clutched a wet shaking kitten in his arms, looking pleadingly towards the leader, who, as always, was shrouded in a darkened shadow.
"Deidara…we've discussed this before. No living pets." Leader's response was almost robotic; he'd had this conversation time and time before, usually with sick birds that easily died later, such fragile creatures, birds….perhaps that's why Deidara liked them so.
"B-But, un!!! I can take care of it! It's small! And it doesn't eat much, un!"
Leader sighed. "You realize it will get bigger and eat more."
Deidara blinked for a moment, then, his trademark smile appeared upon his lips.
"Aa, it will, but you know as well as I do that kittens chase mice! We've had a mouse problem ever since Orochimaru left, un. The kitten will grow to be a ruthless killing machine, un!!!"
That was the Leader's soft spot, promise him something cute will become deadly in a moment's notice and they were in. Perhaps that why he'd let Deidara and Itachi in…
A sigh left the shadowed one's lips as he waved them off. "Fine…just keep it away from Zetsu, he'll eat it." And with that the shadow faded away, leaving the missing Nin from Iwagakure with the shivering wet mass of black fuzz in his arms.
Parted lips let slip a sigh as Deidara made his clay sculpture take flight in more of a hover, letting the black calico kitten jump after the piece of art. He couldn't help but smirk when the kitten jumped and ran right into the corner of the table next to Deidara's bed.
"Are you hurt, un?"
The kitten regained its senses with the sound of his master's voice, giving a silent mew before jumping after the fluttering sculpture.
Again, Deidara thought back…
"You aren't responsible enough for a kitten, Deidara…" A bored voice echoed from the door way as equally bored eyes came into view, fire red strands hanging in reddish-orange eyes.
"You don't know that, Sasori-danna, un! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of it, yeah."
Deidara huffed as he looked at the curled up kitten beside him, watching as it rested beside his thigh.
The puppet master simply gave a sigh; the animal would probably be dead by next week.
"Have you at least named it?"
Deidara blinked for a moment, and then looked down at the calico kitten. "Um….yes, un!"
"And you've named it…?"
Sasori stood silent for a moment and heaved a sigh, shaking his head. "You're too much of a narcissist, Deidara."
The blond artist merely replied with his tongue stuck out at the puppeteer; the words follow it having no real value aside from insult's sake.
After a few moments of bickering and several hateful words exchanged, the puppet master uttered words that Deidara would soon come to believe.
"Naming it after yourself will only lead to it becoming like you. Tch….this could prove to be a learning experience for you, if you've the learning ability that is…"
With that, the red head left the room, leaving the flustered blond alone with the sleeping kitten.
It was just the calm before the storm.
"NO DEI-CHAN, UNNNNN!!!!!" Deidara's voice echoed through the mansion as the blond desperately tried to peel the kitten from the crimson curtains that hung around the clay artist's bed. He always liked some privacy, having to share a room after all, so the curtains were useful, but they also provided one little calico kitten with a way to torture its master with its acrobatics act.
After successfully getting the kitten off of the red fabric he set it down and gave Dei-chan a more interesting clay sculpture to play with, one with strings attached to the wings.
Oh the mischief this little kitten had gotten into…
It had only been a day since Deidara had brought the kitten, dubbed Dei-chan, home, and already it had caused the clay master several massive headaches.
One such example would be when the black mass of fuzz decided to give art a try herself.
Deidara had been experimenting in painting his beloved clay sculptures, as the simple plain tan color was growing dull. Why not give the victims of his art something colorful to look at with their death?
It was then that his first mistake was made.
A sigh had left his lips as a nagging stomach beckoned the butter haired artist to the kitchen for a much needed snack, leaving his paintbrush and red paint out.
No sooner had he left did two coal ears slowly come into site from the other side of the table, followed by two very much dilated golden yellow and blue kitten eyes. A delicate paw reached out and gave a slight swat at the paint covered brush, finding the soft white bristles to be entertaining to play with, covered in paint or not.
Then came the inspection of this curious red substance…
Deidara gave a great stretch, walking down the hall to his room, content with a tummy full of peanut butter and jelly. His leisurely walk soon turned into an all out sprint as he heard a crash emit itself from his room a mere ten feet from the position at which he started.
"UNNNNN!!!! DEI-CHAN! NO!!!!"
If the other members on the other side of the lair didn't hear the distressed yell of the blonde artist, then that would've been a miracle.
Placed around the room were little red paw prints, coupled with a few brush strokes of red on walls as well as upon Deidara's bed sheets.
The source of this mess…?
Why a small black calico kitten, which was now covered in red paint, with it's once extremely fluffy tail now resembling paint brush.
Sulking, Deidara picked up the feline bearing his name and took it to the bathroom for another horrifying experience that proved to educate Deidara in the ways of the cat.
They HATE water with a burning passion that could match Deidara's love of a glorious bloody explosion.
One hour and 45 band-aids later, the Iwa nin was on his hands and knees in the room, scrubbing the red paint off the floor, which, conveniently for him, didn't get on Sasori's side at all.
This cat obviously had it out for him.
In the following hours the golden haired nin caught the kitten before it could manage to launch itself into the paint a grand total of eighteen times.
Exhaustion quickly took hold of both parties as Deidara put up the paint and laid down, all the while Dei-chan decided to camp out on Sasori's bed.
"Sasori-danna's not gonna like you on his bed, Dei-chan, un," The artist spoke, looking over his shoulder at the curled up ball. In response, the calico kitten cracked open one golden eye and then gave a half hearted mew before returning to its dreams.
"Suit yourself, yeah." With that, the blonde rolled over for a much needed nap.
Only a few moments later the door opened, Hiruko sliding in and settling itself beside Sasori's bed. The puppet opened up and carefully the red head slipped out, adjusting himself accordingly; putting his beloved puppet away.
Bored orange eyes settled on the round mass of fuzz upon his pillow.
"And just what do you think you're doing, little one?" Sasori lurked over the kitten with his head just lightly tilted to the side; eyes widen just a bit to add to his question.
Dei-chan shifted, then opened her eyes, looking up at the legendary Akasuna no Sasori with the biggest golden blue eyes. With his presence and in response, a loud purr emitted itself from the calico one.
Sasori let slip a bemused smile, holding out his hand with his palm facing upward, inviting the kitten to come inspect him.
Two coal colored paws with tan blotches poked out from the perfectly round form as soon, it stretched out into more of a cat's shape in a long stretch. Dei-chan sauntered over to the outstretched hand and gave it a tentative sniff. Each intake of breath made her purrs off beat and horribly cute, as she took in the grainy scent of blood soaked wood.
The fiery red head curled up his index finger to give the kitten a gentle scratch beneath the chin, earning louder purrs and a kitten head pushed into his palm.
Behind him, the blonde artist stirred, then soon a yell...
"NO DANNA, UN!!! DON'T HURT HER! SHE WAS ONLY NAPPING ON YOUR BED!!! I SWEAR SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO GROWL AT YOU, UNNN!!!"
Sasori's eye visibly twitched as he pet the kitten in his lap.
"I wasn't hurting it, dip shit…. I was petting it." The suna nin sighed and stroked the kitten's back in a manner that could almost be considered lovingly. "You obviously have never had a cat before, that wasn't a growl. That was a purr. It's a noise it makes when it's in a comfortable or loving state. Its unsure how the sound is really made, but my guess would be by vibrating their larynx, or voice box, in a particular manner to produce sound."
Deidara blinked for a moment, the last part of that statement went over his head, as the first part puzzeled him. Why would a creature make a sound when it was pleased?
"So it's the cat equivalent to a moan?" Deidara asked with a tilted head.
Another eye twitch, coupled with a shaking head. "Never mind, just know its not threatening, it's a loving gesture."
Deidara shrugged, this animal was teaching him a lot of new things rather quickly. After watching his danna interact with the mass of fuzz for a few moments, his trademark grin grew on his delicate features.
"Aww…Danna's in love with the kitty. Does someone have a soft spot in that little wooden body?" The blond taunted, accentuating his words by gestures of pointing to his own heart and making cooing sounds.
No sooner had he done that was he dodging a metal spike, on a metal wire dripping with non leathal poison.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The memory of the experience drew forth laughter, and pain from the artist, as it was evident that Sasori knew all the right places to pet Dei-chan.
Deidara could be playing with the kitten and as soon as Sasori would come shuffeling in, Dei-chan would ignore Deidara, going only to his red headed master. The kitten refused to sleep with the blonde, and only slept curled up into the side of deadly Akasuna no Sasori. (Who, wasn't so deadly to this kitten, perhaps he had a weakness for a fluffy mass of black oozing cuteness. However, Deidara doubted this, because he would've gone after the Uchiha if that was the case.)
One visible painted azure eye watched as Dei-chan leapt for the flying sculpture with string hanging from the tail, catching it perfectly between two paws, biting into the clay tail and shaking its head in distress. Obviously Dei-chan didn't like the taste of clay.
Yes, this kitten had clearly won over a majority of the Akatsuki. One such encounter proved this in a frightening manner.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Containing a hyper active kitten to one room is impossible, this was discovered after Dei-chan found there was a world outside these four walls.
Chasing down the black flash wasn't very difficult if one had a piece of string or a cotton ball to entice the kitten over with. But if you were without these essential items, be prepared for a chase that could take hours.
This particular day, Sasori had left the door cracked open slightly, just enough for the kitten to poke its little black nose between the frame and door to get it open and out.
All Deidara saw when he was walking back from the kitchen was a large black tail, disappearing into the most foreboding room in the entire establishment….
…Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame's room.
The horror that placed itself upon the artist's face was worthy of what one would call a Kodak moment.
Inside this dark horror of a room, a certain raven haired missing nin from Konoha sat at his desk, reading over a scroll, glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose with dull candle light illuminating his work.
Mewing drew the Uchiha's crimson eyes down to the kitten circling round his foot, a fluffy black tail slightly wrapping around his leg.
Ever stoic, Itachi set he scroll down and lent back in his chair, allowing the kitten access to jump into his lap.
The kitten wasted no time to jump up and emit its hypnotic purr, pushing its head into the Uchiha's chest. Crimson sharingan eyes merely followed the kitten's movements.
Dei-chan, noting the lack of caring, placed her paws atop the collar bones that jutted out from the skin above the chest, craning her neck and lightly brushing the end of her black nose against the end of the murderer of the Uchiha clan's own nose; looking fearlessly into those red eyes. It was then that a black paw came up and swatted playfully at the glasses on the Uchiha's face, knocking them off his nose to rest at the incline between his nose and lips.
A slender black eyebrow arched as the corners of his lips turned upwards in what one could consider a smile.
At this, Deidara burst in, throwing himself at the foot of the raven haired one, knowing he only smiled with the thrill of a kill.
"PLEASE, UN! SHE KNOWS NO BETTER!!!!! D-DEI-CHAN IS AN INNOCENT CUTE LITTLE THING THAT IS UNWORTHY OF DEATH, UN!!!! P-PLEASE ITACHI-KUN STO- - - "
The blond artist was silenced when a hand reached down and covered his mouth, the free hand pointing over to his own bed, once again completely stoic.
Confused, his azure eye drifted over to the Uchiha's bed, curled up upon it was a black cat with white around its paws, upon its chest and in other choice areas, a bit older then his own little kitten. Itachi removed his hand allowing the blond air.
"His name is Shisui. Rei-sama gave him to me some time ago for safe keeping. He said shortly after you got your kitten that we could breed them to stop our rodent infestation."
Deidara blinked, and then blinked again. Deadpanned he turned to Itachi, "Promise not to kill the kitty clan and you can breed Shisui with Dei-chan."
The Uchiha glared, picking up the purring mass of fuzz in his lap and handing it off to Deidara. "Fine. Out."
The artist nodded quickly and rushed out.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Deidara sighed, watching as Sasori entered his room, seeing Dei-chan rush over. Sasori idly toyed with the kitten using chakra strings to play, his free hand adjusting the joints of a different puppet.
Dei-chan had been here two weeks, she'd cause Deidara to have an untold amount of headaches and stress. She was already betrothed to be breed by Shisui, Itachi's cat and become desperately attached to Sasori.
Admittedly, Deidara loved the kitten, he loved the kitten dearly. It was cute to watch her jump up to his danna's arms and purr, to watch Sasori's calmed expression as he pet the little one.
It pulled a new kind of love out of the artist, a new feeling that he couldn't describe. Quietly he got up and wandered over to Sasori, leaning over and giving him a light hug, earning a puzzled look from the puppet master, and a mew from Dei-chan.
"Just a whim, danna. Just a whim, un." The golden haired artist lent down and have the black kitten a little scratch behind her ears.
Yes, this was serene. A place of calm after bloody missions and murderous battles.
Deidara had spent the day playing with the kitten, so naturally he was tired, while the little member of the Akatsuki was still hyper as ever, diving beneath Sasori's bed.
The Iwagakure nin smiled and sat down on his own bed, leaning back, fingering some clay between slender fingers.
A shuffling was heard as Deidara turned his head downwards to see a messily disassembled small sized puppet in the middle of the room, with Dei-chan chewing on a foot.
Grinning, the azure eyed one decided to alert the red head to this new development.
"Well, danna! Looks like your art doesn't last forever, un!"
Sasori glanced downward and yelled "YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!!"
It was then that Deidara was rolling in laughter on his bed as Sasori pulled the foot from Dei-chan's mouth, picking up the rest of the puppet used for scouting, cursing and glaring all the while.
Disgruntled, the red head threw the puppet back together, glaring at the little kitten who looked up at Sasori with those enchanting eyes.
"I was right, Deidara. You named her after yourself and she's gained your annoying attributes. Disrespect for my art and that charm that can't keep me mad at her."
Deidara turned his head towards his danna and grinned softly.
"Like master like pet, un."
- - - - - - - - -
AN: Well there you have it. My little fluffy cute one shot. Now, I knew all this about cats and such so I can't say I was as oblivious as Deidara was in this fic. Dei-chan really is my kitten's name though, and she's a little pistol but she's adorable. She climbs my canopy and tries to dive into my paint when I'm painting. Its cute but messy and destructive. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this fiction. I had fun writing it.
Please Review, thank you.