The title and the idea came from an old Ames Brothers songm with the same title. Yes I'm old. How old you'll have to guess.

DISC: Nope. Never have. Never will. and sincerely don't plan on it. I have a big enough gorcery bill as it is.


It only hurts for a little while.

That's what he kept telling himself as he ran his fingers through his hair in an apprehensive manner.

Casting one final semi-satisfied glance at his reflection he slowly moved away and reminded himself again. It only hurts for a little while.

That's what they had said to him when they had heard the news. In a short time the pain would subside and he would go on.

It seemed doubtful though. The anger, and hate. Bitterness that tasted as if it would never dissolve. Regret at the words he should've said at the moment, that had never entered his mind or heart. Grief that settled to the bottom of it all. Resting in dark vigilant silence. All rested heavily on his chest with the permanence of stone.

It only hurts for a little while.

Possible, but it didn't seem damn likely he discerned while moving through the semi-crowded corridors.

He never considered himself the type who would've thrown away the hope, moments of bliss and comfort. Passion. Affection. Love. Never, once he had believed he had truly found it.

That's what he had thought until that day. One hour. One moment. Then it all went to hell before he had a chance to let it sink in.

When the smoke eventually cleared, he had again found himself alone. Returning to his ship and station were the only things he had to keep himself from drowning in his own anguish and misery. It wouldn't kill the pain or help him forget it. Merely pushing it back until he had hidden it from himself.

Until then it would hurt for a little while, he again reiterated soberly to himself as he stepped through the door of the council room.

Yes, it seemed doubtful it would only hurt for a little while when his gaze fixed on a figure only a few yards away, that he knew so intimately. The blue eyes that widened and brightened when meeting his gold flecked stare, only deepened the wounds.

"Jim!" Her breath felt warm as she drew within inches of him and brushed back a lock of blonde hair. "My God, it's been what? Ten years?"

The smile he managed barely held back the rueful shadow that narrowly crept into his gaze when he felt her fingers touch his arm.

"More like eleven, Carol."

Eleven years.

Two months.

Sixteen days.



It only hurts for a little while.