Tonight on redsrule1:

Nine couples:
Spike/Faith
Glory/Ben
Harmony/Giles
Clem/Buffy
Gunn/Cordelia
Lilah/Angel
Darla/Lindsey
Xander/Anya
Sebassis/Willow

One winner.
Who will be the champions of the Demon world? YOU will help to decide.
It's the premiere of:

Dancing With The Demons

Episode One, Part One

Music strikes a low, dramatic chord which is held throughout the opening announcements.

ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER
First, nine contestants did a week of intensive training at Teachers' Dance Camp!

A montage of quick cuts taking place in a ballroom dance studio
with wooden floors and mirrored walls:
ANGEL dancing with a professional ballroom dance instructor.
GILES and BUFFY chatting and laughing.
LINDSEY standing with an instructor, listening as she explains a dance move to him.
CORDELIA plopping into a plush chair, exhausted.
BEN standing alone on dance floor, then GLORY, then BEN.
ANYA practicing moves by herself as she watches in the dance studio mirror.
FAITH does a spin, then grabs the instructor she's dancing with by the shoulders
and eyes him sexily—he swallows uncomfortably.
WILLOW watches incredulously, eyes wide, as an instructor shows her a move.

ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER cont.
Then, a demon's spell enhances their abilities to make them experienced ballroom dance instructors!

SWEET does a little "soft shoe" and a spin, stopping abruptly and thrusting his arms out toward the nine contestants. Little balls of light fly from his hands to the contestants' feet, engulfing them in an eerie, multicolored glow. The contestants begin dancing complicated routines with each other.

ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER cont.
Finally, the newly trained teachers met their students and spent the next four weeks preparing for this night. Now they begin their quest to become the top dancers of the demon world.
Who will emerge victorious? This is Dancing With The Demons!

Cue lively Theme music which continues throughout the following dance pose sequence.

Pre-recorded shots of each couple in turn striking dance poses as follows,
with dancer's names superimposed:

Ben --? and Her Most Magnificent Glorificus
BEN, wearing a sharp gunmetal grey suit, strikes a GQ pose and flashes a confident smile at the camera. He morphs into GLORY, who rips off the tux with a flourish to reveal a sexy, sparkly red dress and strikes a very convincing pinup pose

William The Bloody and Faith Lehane
SPIKE, in a sparkly black Latin shirt, puts his arm around FAITH's waist. She is wearing a sequined green leotard and short red skirt. He pulls her in tight and they gaze into each other's eyes before turning their heads ever so slightly to look at the camera out of the corner of their eyes with a confident smirk.

Clem and Buffy Summers
BUFFY is wearing a long yellow dress, and CLEM wears a white, billowy Latin shirt. She tries to do a high leg kick to place her ankle on his shoulder, but CLEM is ignoring her and smiles and waves cordially at the camera. BUFFY falls, disappearing from view. CLEM looks after her, not quite sure what just happened

Charles Gunn and Cordelia Chase
GUNN, in a black tuxedo, twirls the silver-gowned CORDELIA out to the side then back to him, wrapping her into his arms. CORDELIA flashes an Oscar-winning smile, and GUNN nearly matches it.

Xander Harris and Anyanka
XANDER, looking somewhat less than at home in a standard tuxedo, and ANYA, wearing a sparkly lavender gown, strike a simple pose in standard dance hold. She has a serious "I'm going to grind our opponents into the dust' look on her face. XANDER is grinning as if he just told a wholly inappropriate joke at one of Giles' explanatory sessions

Harmony Kendall and Rupert Giles
GILES, in tux with top hat, takes HARMONY into an elegant dance hold.
HARMONY starts to giggle. GILES rolls his eyes.

Lindsey McDonald and Darla
LINDSEY wears a stylish black pinstripe suit while DARLA faces him, wearing a slinky silver dress. LINDSEY's smile is a confident sneer as he deftly rolls DARLA down into a back bend, around, and up into a hugging pose. DARLA's smiling face suggests that she's still trying to decide whether to eat Lindsey and the audience or play the seductress

Lilah Morgan and Angel
ANGEL, wearing a tux, sways LILAH, wearing an attractive red ballgown, left and right,
then snaps her sharply to his left side where she puts her arms around him and blows in his ear before giving the camera a seductive smile. ANGEL, although smiling for the camera, looks somewhat uncertain.

Archduke Sebassis and Willow Rosenberg
SEBASSIS, wearing a dark suit with red cape, lowers WILLOW, who wears a white evening gown, sideways into a dip. WILLOW has a broad smile on her face, but her widened eyes and raised eyebrows suggest that the spell may not have entirely worked on her.

ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER
Live, from Hollywood, this is Dancing With The Demons!

Theme music ends

LORNE
Wearing a salmon-pink tuxedo, and speaking into a hand-held microphone.
Hello, and welcome to the premiere of Dancing With The Demons! I'm Lorne, your host!

ILLYRIA
Standing next to LORNE, also speaking into a hand-held mic,
and wearing an elegant blue evening gown with black leather trim.
And I am Illyria, God-King Of The Primordium.

LORNE
Heh. You certainly are! Tonight, nine couples will begin a journey to see who are the hottest dancers of the human and demon worlds! Each couple must consist of one human, and one non-human. Partners, songs, and dances have all been assigned by the Watchers' Council, in association with the law firm of Wolfram & Hart, who will also tabulate and verify the scoring results. Illyria, how does that scoring work?

ILLYRIA
You are host of the ceremony yet you do not know its function?

LORNE
Forces a smile at the camera and points at the teleprompter.
Tell our viewers, Blueberry Muffin.

ILLYRIA
Blue--?
Looks at LORNE and sees him pointing,
then cocks her head slightly and stares intently at the teleprompter and camera
Each couple will be required to dance one of two dances tonight. The Judges will critique their performance and assign them a score from one to ten. After all nine couples have danced, you, the viewer, shall vote for the couples whom you believe should continue. The judges' scores and viewers' votes will be combined, and the couple with the lowest combined score will be eliminated in our "Results" show.
Eyes brightening, turns to look at Lorne This will be more interesting than I thought.

LORNE
smiling weakly
Be that as it may, our first couple tonight has a history! But then, don't they all?
Let's meet Xander Harris and Anyanka!

Cut to montage of clips from private interviews interspersed with clips from rehearsals.
--------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER
interview
Well, she walked out on me when she first saw that I was going to be her partner.
--------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER standing alone in a dance studio.
This studio, like all of the studios in the show, has a large wooden floor surrounded by carpet and a mirrored wall. The camera crew is against the wall opposite the mirrors, situated to the side so that they do not pick up their reflection on camera.
ANYA enters the room.

XANDER
spreading his arms wide and walking toward ANYA to hug her.
Anya! You're my partner! Cool!

ANYA whirls sharply on her heels and leaves the room.
XANDER raises his hands palms up in a "what did I do?" gesture.

XANDER
Looks directly at the camera and grins sheepishly.
Well, you gotta admit, if she comes back, that turn thing she just did on her heels will be a killer move.
---------------------------------------------------------------

ANYA
interview
Well, when I got to the studio and found out who my partner was, I turned around and walked out. But then I thought it over for a while and decided that I needed to get over my anger so that I could grow as a person. I mean demon.
------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYA sits in an office with the PRODUCER of the show and his LAWYER

ANYA
I won't do it. I'm not doing this if he's my partner.

PRODUCER
But Anya, baby, it'll be fun! You'll have a great time!

ANYA
Absolutely not! Not with him!

LAWYER
Let me remind you, Anyanka, that we have a contract. It says we can pair you with whomever we see fit. If you don't participate, you'll be in breach of contract.

ANYA
So what?

LAWYER
So you forfeit all monies already paid to you and any future salary or prize money.

PRODUCER
And that's a lot.

ANYA
Is he still at the dance studio?
----------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER
interview
But then she came back. Couldn't resist the Xan man, I guess.
------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYA
interview
I decided to let bygones be bygones, isn't that what you humans do? I am not holding a grudge.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand together in the dance studio wearing casual clothes.
ANYA faces XANDER.

ANYA
You're actually gonna show up for the performance, right? Not gonna leave just before we go on?
Maybe we should ask to go first so you don't change your mind.

XANDER rolls his eye.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER
interview
The dancing's all right, but sometimes I have trouble with the whole depth perception thing.
I mean a creep like Warren could build a whole girl, why couldn't I get a bionic eye or something?
I mean, it could have X-ray vision. grins Or you know, laser beams. Or? --Or? --Oh, yeah! Laser x-rays. How cool would that be, huh?
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand in dance poses facing each other. Music begins.
XANDER dance-runs toward ANYA, arms outstretched to catch her.
He misses, running right past her. ANYA looks after him, puzzled.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER
interview
I mean, I'm just sayin. Maybe that could be stealthy hand swoop slipped into the budget?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
XANDER and ANYA dancing. They release their hold and do a series of twirls down the floor.
They stop, and XANDER reaches out to catch ANYA's hand but pokes her in the face instead.

ANYA
Ow!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand in dance poses facing each other. Music begins.
XANDER dance-runs toward ANYA, arms outstretched to catch her.
He runs into her, knocking her down.

ANYA
Ow!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
XANDER and ANYA dancing, XANDER leading, ANYA dancing backward in standard hold. They dance closer and closer toward the camera, finally crashing into it. The camera falls over with a loud clatter, and we now see a sideways picture of XANDER sitting on the floor, rubbing his head.

ANYA
From offscreen.
Ow!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYA
interview
It's a good thing lifts are illegal.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

XANDER
interview
And I don't know who picked the music, but that, and the choreography,
I think she's trying to do a vengeance thing.
Pause I know this is a vengeance thing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYA
interview
I have not allowed our past history to affect our dancing in any way. I want to win this competition.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Montage ends.

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Waltz: Xander Harris and Anyanka!

ANYA stands at the top of the stage which sits three stairs up from the dance floor.
She is wearing a long, white ballgown and a bridal veil.
She holds a bouquet of flowers, and her back is to the dance floor.

XANDER, wearing a traditional black tuxedo, white shirt with black bow tie and cummerbund, stands at the foot of the stairs. He has a fake smile plastered onto his face, but his overall expression is one of "I can't believe I let her talk me into this."

"Anniversary Song" by Pat Boone begins to play.

ANYA tosses her bouquet over her head and behind her back. It lands at the far end of the dance floor.
She turns and descends the stairs, then dance-runs to XANDER, who takes her into dance position.

The begin to dance, doing standard Waltz moves,
turning left and right as they progress around the floor.

They release their dance hold and both do a series of twirls down the dance floor.
They stop, and ANYA reaches out to catch XANDER's hand.
They return to dance position and continue dancing.

As the music swells to its final climax, they stop dancing at the foot of the stairs.
They release dance position and ANYA turns and runs away from XANDER.
She runs to the bouquet of flowers and kneels down on the floor to pick them up, cradling them in her arms as the music stops.

The CROWD cheers wildly. XANDER walks up behind ANYA and helps her to her feet,
and they walk to the side of the dance floor where LORNE now stands alone.

LORNE
Well, that was a pretty dance! Let's take a moment to meet our three judges.
First of all, representing the human world, all the way from the afterlife, our head judge, Mr. Wesley Wyndham-Price!

WESLEY, dressed in a suit, sits at the center of a long table just in front of where LORNE now stands. To WESLEY's right sits DRUSILLA, dressed in a black dress, and to his left sits OZ, wearing a suit jacket over a T-shirt.

WESLEY
Thank you, Lorne. It's an honor to be here.

LORNE
And representing the demon world, the lovely Drusilla!

DRUSILLA
swaying side to side Make them dance all pretty for us, Lorne.

LORNE
I'm not a miracle worker, Pumpkin.
Last but not least, bridging the gap between the human and demon worlds, our third judge, the talented Daniel Osbourne.

OZ
Hey.

LORNE
Welcome, judges. Wesley, tell us, just what are we looking for in a Waltz?

WESLEY
Well, Lorne, we're looking for smooth motion, turns, long steps, and lots of movement.

LORNE
And did we get that from Xander and Anya?

WESLEY
Not entirely, I'm afraid. CROWD boos. WESLEY looks at the audience, startled, then shakes them off and returns his attention to LORNE. Xander's movements, although adequate, were somewhat stiff. And Anya actually appeared to be doing most of the work.
CROWD boos again. WESLEY frowns at them.

LORNE
Drusilla, what did you think?

DRUSILLA
The bouquet wilts with tears. There is sadness.
Also, they will not score well enough to place first this week.

LORNE
Um, okay. Oz?

OZ
It was fine.

Pause.

LORNE
Okay. You two go on backstage and meet with Illyria while the judges consider their scores.

Cut to backstage room where ILLYRIA stands staring at the camera.
BEN, already dressed in his dance tuxedo, sits on a couch behind her.
XANDER and ANYA walk up beside ILLYRIA, who looks at them quizzically for a moment.

ANYA
You're supposed to engage in banter with us now, to build up the tension as we wait for the scores.

ILLYRIA
That seems artificial and pointless.

ANYA shrugs and nods in agreement.

ILLYRIA
Very well. To XANDER Wesley the Judge pronounced your movements merely adequate,
and accused you of forcing your partner to carry you through the routine. Why do you dance so lazily?
Do you not have the self-discipline to do the work necessary to excel?

XANDER
Sputtering Um, uh, well… He looks at ANYA for support, but she stares at him as she waits for the answer to that question, as well. Um, well, I uh-- grins broadly and uncomfortably. Heh heh.
points to his eyepatch. Bionic. Would be cool.

ILLYRIA
I believe I have raised the tension level significantly.
Does anyone know if the judges have prepared their scores yet?

Cut to shot of JUDGES table.

ANNOUNCER
The judges are ready to reveal their scores. Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Seven.

DRUSILLA Holds up a paddle with the corresponding number printed on it,
as each judge will do when announcing their scores.

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Seven.

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Seven.

Cut to ILLYRIA, XANDER, and ANYA backstage.

ANYA
Glaring at XANDER. Three sevens.

ILLYRIA
To XANDER The judges have deemed you worthy of no more than a score of twenty-one.
Leave my sight. I am no longer interested in anything you have to say.
To ANYA You must take charge of your burden.

ANYA sighs and nods as she and XANDER exit. ILLYRIA follows them off screen.

BEN, still sitting on the couch, smiles uncomfortably as the camera remains on for a moment.

Cut to LORNE

LORNE
Okay, we'll have to brief her on the art of tossing back to the host.
Next up, an interesting couple, to say the least. Let's meet Ben-- uh, what is his last name, anyway? --and Her Magnificent Glorificus!

Cut to montage of clips.
--------------------------------------------------------------

BEN
interview
Glory's not the easiest partner to work with. For one, thing, it's kind of hard to get ideas together when you can't be in the same place at the same time. She takes advantage of this. She keeps changing the choreography while I'm gone.
---------------------------------------------------------------

rehearsal clip
BEN dancing alone in a dance studio. Some of GLORY's MINIONS watch.

BEN does some steps, a spin, and strikes a pose with right arm and left leg outstretched.

GRONX
That's quite nice, sir, but I'm afraid that's no longer how the routine goes.

BEN
What?

GRONX
The most "Shiny Special One" and I felt that these moves will be better.

GRONX begins to dance

BEN
No, no, no. I'm the teacher. You tell Glory that we're going to do it like this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BEN
interview
The only way I can communicate with her is through those minions of hers. Oh. they're driving me crazy! It's "her most beauteous this," and "I'm not worthy to clean the sole of her wonderfulness' shoes," yadda yadda yadda. I know they don't tell her half of what I ask them to.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rehearsal clip
GLORY stands in dance studio with her MINIONS.

GLORY
So what did ol' Ben think of the changes we made to the routine.

DREG
Uh, he loved them, your Most Choreographical One.

GRONX and JINX look quizzically at DREG over that name. DREG shrugs.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GLORY
interview
Finally my minions did something right. Jinx actually took it upon himself to set this whole thing up, bringing Ben and me back from the afterlife to do this. If we win, I might let him clean my dance shoes. Oh, you can't imagine how boring it is spending the afterlife with nothing to do but be Ben. Even if we don't win, the break from eternal Ben-ness will be worth it. But I'll win. I'm gonna grind those other couples into the spiked heel of my extremely sexy and stylish dance shoes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BEN
interview
I think we've got a pretty good routine if she'll just stick to it,
and not make any more last minute changes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rehearsal clip
GLORY steps and twirls, then stops dancing. She turns to her MINIONS.

GLORY
Did you get that, Jinx? Tell Ben about those changes.

JINX
Of coruse, your Most Graceful One. But, he won't be happy.

GLORY
Why not? He's liked all the other changes.

JINX
Um, well, uh, he may feel that this is too close to the competition to be changing anything.

GLORY
He's got three hours before we have to be there. Tell him to stop whining and suck it up.
Is he a teacher or not?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Montage ends

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Waltz, Her Most Magnificent Glorificus, and her partner, Ben!

BEN, dressed in a tuxedo with tailcoat and holding a longstemmed red rose, walks out from behind the curtain and strikes an opening pose, as if sniffing the flower.

GLORY, dressed in a beautiful, flowing red dress, holds the rose as she walks over to LORNE, who takes her to the JUDGES' table.

LORNE
Wow! I gotta say that took my breath away! Who would'a thought a Hell-god was capable of that much heaven? Judges, whaddaya say? Dru?

DRUSILLA
tears in her eyes
Oh, my. The sky sang to me. It-- it was lovely. So very lovely.

GLORY
Well, of course it was!

LORNE
I couldn't agree more. Wesley, how about you?

WESLEY
looks at Oz with a bewildered expression. Oz shrugs, just as confused.
I-- I-- is this a joke? You're having us on, right, Lorne? I'm-- where did Ben go?

LORNE
chuckles nervously Um, okay, Wesley seems a bit confused there.

GLORY
Wow, I shoulda' brain-sucked him. Nobody would've noticed.

LORNE
How about you, Oz?

OZ
Uh, was that a routine?

LORNE
"Was that a routine!" You said it, brother. All right, Kitten, you head on backstage and talk to Illyria while the judges prepare their marks. And again, wonderful job!

GLORY exits, and the camera cuts backstage to her and ILLYRIA.
SPIKE and FAITH sit on the couch behind.

ILLYRIA
Your Most Magnificent Glorificus, welcome.

GLORY
Illyria, God-King Of The Primordium. You're looking well. Smaller than I remember.

ILLYRIA
This body was not my choice.

GLORY
I hear ya'.

ILLYRIA
I must admit, I was quite moved by that dance. It was sublime. The counterpoint between the depiction of birth and death, and indeed the universe itself, in all of its many dimensions, was brilliant.

GLORY
See, and you're the only one who would get that.
Even that idiot partner of mine couldn't understand what I was saying with that routine.

ILLYRIA
scoffs.
Fools. They know nothing of our pain and anguish. Yet they presume to pass judgement.
Which they will now do.

Cut to Judges' Table.

ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Ten. mixed boos and cheers from the CROWD

WESLEY
Ten? Are you mad? -- I mean, more so than usual...

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
One. But only because I don't have a paddle for "zero." mixed boos and cheers from the CROWD

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Five. everyone in the crowd boos

WESLEY
looks incredulously at OZ Five? What on Earth for?

OZ
shrugs his shoulders They might have been going for surreal. Gutsy move. I like it.

Cut backstage to ILLYRIA and GLORY.

GLORY
Sixteen? The little creeps gave me sixteen?

ILLYRIA
Do not trouble yourself with trying to fathom their small minds.
It was an honor for me to witness your dance.

GLORY
Yeah, well it will be my honor to wring those judges' necks.

GLORY storms off screen, and ILLYRIA stays this time.
She looks at the camera/teleprompter for a moment, then turns and throws her microphone through
the wall of the set. SPIKE and FAITH jump, startled.

Cut to LORNE, rubbing his left horn with his hand.

LORNE
Ow. Looks off camera at DIRECTOR More briefing.
To camera What happens when a vampire and a Slayer join forces for a Cha Cha?
We'll find out, when Dancing With The Demons returns!

Short, four-bar theme music plays to the break.