Author's note: I do not own anything from Twilight Princess, or the song that these lyrics parody. Keep in mind that all songs in this series will be based only on songs that come from real musicals. Also keep in mind that it is flippin' hard to change between songs and regular speech. A third thing to keep in mind is that I thought it would be a bad idea to make anyone go 'shooby doo'.
On one fateful day in the Hyrule Kingdom, the air grew thick around Zelda's guards as the doors to the throne room flew open. The princess gasped in horror as a cloaked figure in a frightful mask walked calmly in, followed by a horde of malformed shadowy monsters. After letting out a terrible moan, the figure turned to Zelda and started to laugh menacingly.
"Who dares intrude on our sacred grounds without permission?" demanded the princess.
"Someone you should fear!" rasped the figure. "I, the Shadow King, have come to conquer your world, and reclaim all that belongs to the Twilight Realm!"
"King or not, I cannot allow you to do such a terrible thing to my kingdom."
"Perhaps I should clarify, then," stated the king. After clearing his throat, he started to rise in the air, as the monsters behind him rushed at the guards.
"For as long as I have known, ever since I was a child,
All of the Twili saw that I was clearly wild,
I would do such things like cracking Sols
And placing small animals on burning coals
Every single denizen would have preferred me dead
But do you know what my God said?"
"Where are you going with this?" asked Zelda.
"Be quiet, you!"
"Well, he said, 'Young man, with eyes like fire,
I will let you obtain all that you desire:
You'll be a TYRANT!
You'll give all your enemies pain!
Just like a TYRANT!
And you'll kill those who call you insane!
You know how they all told you no?
I can force them all to say yes!
So be a TYRANT!
And you'll be a success!'"
All of the guards started panicking at the sight of the seemingly unbeatable monsters.
"Watch out, it's going to attack!"
"Don't breath in that fog!"
"Get the cannon!"
"That tyrant is obviously up to no good!"
"Could he even be worse than Ganon?"
"Impossible! He's too strong!"
"Shut up!" snapped the king. "Let me finish the song!"
"Now I'm a TYRANT!"
"We're not up to this task!"
"I'm overbearing, demanding, and strict!
I'm such a TYRANT!"
"What's that coming from his mask?"
"I enjoy all the pain I inflict!
It thrills me whenever I'm killin'!
"He's killing us all!"
"I love when they call me an expert villain!
And this awesome new power I possess,
I know deep, deep inside me,
My god will always provide me…"
The king quickly knelt down and touched his chest, while thinking to himself, 'Oh, Ganon.' After an awkward silence, he continued chanting,
"… As long as I'm a TYRANT!
And I'm a success!"
Stepping slowly past the unconscious guards, the king approached Princess Zelda. "Here's your choice, princess: live or die?"
"Live or die?"
"LIVE OR DIE?"
Zelda, seeing that she had no choice, surrendered by dropping her sword with a loud 'clang'.