jen & is & bringing & the & drugs

yellows make all your troubles go away, but the reds are the ones to take before a concert or a recording session.


…game of trans erudoaspdahn ubstant queoahsurh iation another alch opjiashdq emical formula of roses and crosses christian science coughing blood onto subhiopnd the table beneath shaking beneath him tortorturedflesh ah ah yes there there and it had been just a teensy teensy bit more not moreoajpshd a lot not much not enough to make the blood irrpokaniw wine like christian science what is he muttering what is am i what is…

"Yellow," Axel begged. "Yellow, not red. The red ones are for…I want yellow, give me a yellow one…give me a yellow a yellow…"


Axel never begged for sex.

Marluxia found that disconcerting, and, perhaps, a bit aggravating.

He liked to hear the words you-and-please-and-master-and-anything combined together into a beautiful sentence of sexual acquiescence that soon became something for deeper and far more arousing. In others it became desperation and it became trust, until he could get them tied to the beds without complaint, could get them on their knees crawling across the floor for a taste of what they thought only he could give. With that skillful smirking mouth and those rough hands, caressing twitching thighs as the cocaine high went t-t-rembling through bodies, suffering, taking tolls of denial.

Axel only begged for drugs.


"Just one more…one more…ah…" Sweat streamed down the side of Axel's face as he licked his upper lip with greed and indecency. "Small…one…small…"

Marluxia laughed, letting the sound grate out through the flesh and tegument of his throat.

The table shook.


He begged for the yellows. He didn't want the red, didn't want the red, couldn't have his heart beating any faster any faster any faster.

"Shut up," shut up and feed him the hot stuff, there's nothing else to do with it. Can't sell it, not since everyone knows exactly who it was stolen from, just gotta use it, can't sell it, can't…

"Yellow? Please…oh God…the yellow pills…the yellow…"

"Shut up."

The table shook.


They were eating breakfast while the house was still quiet. They were eating Cheerios straight out of the box and poking at a browning banana with discontent. It had been in the house since God only knew when.

Axel's head hung limply from the support of his neck…his eyes downcast as the fruit squished beneath the prod of his fork. Axel looked like the rest of the trash and refuse strewn on the floor from the party. Equally as attractive as the beer cans and littered ashes of hashish and tobacco.

Eating Cheerios straight out of the box with forks.

A thought struck Marluxia suddenly as he watched Axel's nose bleed, and he found the cruelty in asking all too desirable. "What do you want for Christmas?"

A lesson from long ago struck a hot chord.

While sitting at the same trembling table they'd fucked on last night.

Axel smiled faintly. "Dye your hair."

Trembling and trembling and trembling and trembling.


"Yellow, I want…I want the yellows…the reds are for…Yellow…"

"And what color do you want me to dye my hair?"

"Yellow…yellow…yellow…"

Marluxia laughed. "Why yellow?"

Sobs twisted from Axel's mouth. He squirmed, impaling himself deeper on an aching cock. He sobbed again, a stifling, choking wrack from his tortureddiseased smoker's lungs.

"I don't…huff…know when they're…they're…hic…coming home…."

Marluxia had to laugh.

He bent that gaunt body nearly double and let Axel sob for his Nembutals and his mother.

The table always shook.


Axel lay in the bed sometimes, praying those two would never met. Meanwhile plucking, fluffing at Roxas' hair like flower petalsdandelions. The boy just would not wake up he was like the dead likethedead, sleeping like a corpse like the dead.

…he loves me he lo hatenoshdf ves me not he loves me he loves me not yellow shank hot wet slide trembling mouth of of of yellow gorhadovh christian science cross allthetor and rose yellow amber corn ecru flax weaohdfst gamboges golden saffron not saffron aurulent high school torturedflesh home family blow hot hot the stuff was hot soluaisheqwi trembling burn…

Blood dribbled from his nose.

Dripping carefully, slowly to pool in the crook of his neck.

…yellow yellow red not the red doctor blind saffron red not not yellow retchasdoipnd i need the yellow jowlsnoahwqo need the want allthe torturedflesh the just more need want more you me no yellow please no yes dye no not the red yellow yellow and christian science transkjhha ubstantiate…


Selphie sang, repeating and repeating for the sake of a rhyme she didn't understand. "One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told."

Axel listened to her while sitting silent as the dead, watching Roxas pat her on the head.


"Axel, aasdikojrgndgkyellowjspitetorturedfleshhwndfgreq?" Roxas said angrily, his thin mouth made much prettier by the artistic downward line. His eyes raging behind shades of gray, meeting but not connecting with…

"I do what I want."

"I can see that! Axel, ojsgfiuherbutsfjowejtweoiosdfjepdontnaofuhewiwantoajfieuwhttoarjiwehbeajdpiwhseen!"

"I see you…"

"What are youfowiasdjts? Axel, eirhjwophaushdasuhyellowhotnsodfhyellowdye?"


He was already gone, trapped within the confines of his trembling body. Marluxia couldn't resist the chance to pry him a little farther apart.

"Love me?" The word was acrid in his mouth, like ink. The terrified glance Axel eventually turned toward him was reward enough.

"Love?"

…not the red…please…i already can't breathe…yellows come before bed…let me go to bed…

"Heh, no?"

Axel swallowed against his dry mouth. Another rhyme, cautionarysenselessensecuationarynonsensical rhyme.

When your mouth gets dry…when your mouth gets dry…then you're p-p-plenty high…

"Sick of hearing about drugs and AIDS and people without homes…"


The table shook, wildly reckless with flesh sticking torturedflesh sticking to the surface of the rickety shaking table.

"Yellow…the yellows…to…ah…ah…take the edgeoff the cocainejitters before...before theycome."


cause i have been left alone by the people ive known

and i dont know when theyre coming home


Standard Disclaimers: lyrics by Margot and the Nuclear So and So's, quote from Robert Anton Wilson.

Gin and Sin belongs to archy the cockroach; lovable, squishable, amen.