It would seem that I am about five to six years behind in writing this story. While I was a fan of Edge and Christian's from the beginning, I however did not have access to the Internet up until the past year and a half. I have been looking on here ever since for stories, mostly wrestling fan fiction, and have absolutely loved all the E&C stories I have found here and various other places. The part that breaks my heart, though, is that most of the stories and most all of the sites were made or published years ago, and many of the sites haven't been updated in ages.
So, here is the story. The idea came to me one day while I was working late by myself. (An empty grocery store on a Saturday night is a GREAT place to come up with ideas.) I am going to write this because I am inspired to. I can only hope that it will reach a few, possibly many, Edge and Christian fans, past and present. I hope that there are still people interested in reading it, as I am. This is also my first attempt at writing a slash story. The story is told from Adam's P.O.V, unless otherwise noted. Here you go...I present to you...Shouting In Whispers.
"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."
- Francois Mocuriac
Jay stood in front of the wall, smiling. He was smiling because it wasn't bare anymore. It was now covered with memories. His memories. He thought of how glad he was that he had decided to put this new addition on to his home. Now that he was working a lighter schedule of wrestling with TNA instead of the demanding WWE schedule, he had more time for things like this, and it pleased him greatly. Jay stood in the middle of the room, looking all around him. "Not bad..." he said to himself. The first room that he transformed was to be his "Wrestling" room. He had filled it with photos, memorabilia, souvenirs, and had plastered the walls with posters and old, vintage programs from when he had first started out in the indies.
One of them in particular caught his eye. He walked over to it, touching it as he read out loud, "The Suicide Blondes..." he laughed lightly to himself. The idea, though, of that memory was anything but humorous. It was all quite serious, and made something inside of Jay almost turn inside out. Looking over the wall, he came to a poster that actually had his and Adam's photo on it, in black and white. "One night only...Hanover, Manitoba...January 28th, 1996...The Suicide Blondes...The THUG Life faction..." Jay took a deep breath in as he looked at that old photo. "That was just around the time when..." Jay began to say to himself when he was interrupted by his wife, Denise, standing in the doorway. "Baby?" she asked him, "What are you saying?"
He turned to face her, saying softly "Nothing, honey. Just talking to myself..." he trailed off.
She walked over to him. "Looks nice in here."
"Yeah." he mumbled.
"You worked hard, you should be proud." she said, hugging him to her.
"Of what," he asked, "My career or the room?"
"Both." she said, smiling up at him. "You going to come help me make dinner now that you're done with this project of yours?"
"In a few minutes." he said. "I just want to finish a few things in here."
"Okay..." she said, walking away.
Jay walked back over to the poster he had been standing near. "Some things, however..." he said, touching the poster once again, "...you just CAN'T finish, no matter how much time has passed..."
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Thursday, February 8th 1996
"Goodbye, honey...I do hope you boys will be careful...it's supposed to snow this weekend...oh, Adam, I don't know if I want you driving that, that...car of yours in this weather, now that I think of it." My mom, she was always worried about me. I guess she had to be, I was her only child. Who else was she going to worry about? She currently had me in a big hug, and was going on and on about the trip we were going to be taking this weekend.
"MOM!!!" I finally said. "It's fine...the car runs fine...there won't be any problems."
"But what if it should quit on you or something on the way there?" she asked.
"Yeah, and what if a yeti jumps out if front of me...?" I joked.
Mom did not find this funny, rolling her eyes at me as she continued "Why not just take my car?" she asked.
"NO. Mom, I saved up some money and I bought that car for two reasons, so I wouldn't have to either A) rely on Jay or someone else to drive, and B) not have to borrow your car...or anyone else's parents' car, for that matter." I said, trying my hardest to assert myself. This was not so easy to do when it was your mother on the other side of the argument. "It will be fine, mom, just relax." I said.
"Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, But I want you to promise me that if it starts to turn bad outside you stop somewhere, or turn around, or call a tow truck or something?" she said as she straightened out the collar of my coat.
"Yes, mother." I said sarcastically.
"I hate when you say it like that, Adam." she said, hugging me again. "I love you."
"I love you too, mom." I said, rolling my eyes. I loved my mother dearly, she had done a fantastic job of raising me on her own, but sometimes she could be too much.
With that I loaded up everything I had thought I would need for the five or six day trip we would be taking through the upper parts of Canada. There would for sure be a show Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, and maybe, if they were lucky enough, we could pick up some other shows along the way.
I lugged my bags out to the car and threw them in the backseat. Ahhh, my car. My first car. I had paid one hundred dollars for this 1980 Chrysler New Yorker. It wasn't pretty to look at, but I wasn't planning on looking at it very much...just driving it. I was proud of myself, in that moment when I put the money in that old man's hands. It was one of the first things I had ever done with nobody's help.
I had saved up money from doing shows for a month and a half to come up with that hundred dollars. I was proud because I had done it, I had my own car. No more having to use someone else's car, no more having to borrow my mom's to get to shows. I now had my own vehicle, and I was going to assert my independence to it's fullest.
Driving over to Jay's house from mine, there were a few snowflakes falling, just lightly. I had told him that I bought the car, but he had yet to see it. I was certain that he would have some sort of disparaging words for the car, but I was prepared. Besides, if Jay thought that he would win a war of insults with me, he had another thing coming.
Pulling up in the driveway, I could see him peeking out of the front window of the house. His face was just poking through the curtains as I pulled in. I had to laugh a little at his childlike nature. I had even found it the littlest bit cute. Jay and I had been best friends for the longest time. He was probably the person who I felt most comfortable with in the world. I could tell him all my hopes, fears, dreams. Luckily for us, he had most of the same ones that I did.
As I put the car in park, I thought about the face that had been looking out that window. Over the past few years, I had begun to sometimes feel strange with Jay. In the years we were training to become wrestlers together, we would often get paired up together to practice in the ring. I guess it was around that time when it began. I had never found myself attracted to Jay-or any other guy, for that matter-until one day when we were just messing around in the ring, trying out some moves. Jay came off from the top rope, landing on top of me. When he moved to get off of me, there was this sensation that I couldn't really have described with words right then. Just the feeling of Jay's body against mine had sort of turned a light bulb on inside of my head.
When he got up off of me, he leaned up and rested on his knees, offering me a hand to get up. In that moment I caught eyes with him. I must have had some sort of dumb look on my face or something, because he asked me, "Adam? You okay???"
I looked down as I said "Yeah, fine." I got up by myself.
He asked me,"Oh, what, did I take the fall a little too hard on you?" in a joking voice.
I turned around and tackled him down to the mat, saying "Of course not." He smiled up at me. In that moment I didn't know whether to help him up or kiss him. Most of me wanted to do the latter, repeatedly, as hard as I could.
Ever since then, I had found myself trying to suppress urges similar to those. There were times when I would look at him and see just a certain sparkle in his eye that intrigued me. The way that he parted his lips that made me wonder what it would be like to kiss him. The quick witted things that he would say. That stupid smile. Those silly faces he would make sometimes. I had begun to find it hard lately to keep Jay's image out of my fantasies.
I always just let them go, stuffed them deep down somewhere in my stomach. I knew that Jay had never thought of me that way. I knew he wasn't gay or bisexual or anything. I was, however, beginning to think that I was.
I got out of the car and opened the backseat door for Jay as he put his bags in with mine. "So...this is the great car, eh?" he asked, taking a walk around it. I could see the criticism written all over his face. "Well...at least it's one of my favorite shades of blue." he concluded.
I tapped the top of the car, saying "Don't make fun of her...you have to ride in her for a few days. Remember that when you're insulting her."
"HER, huh?" Jay scoffed, opening his door with a loud creak. He grimaced as it did. "Did you give HER a name? I think this BOAT'S name should be BERTHA" he said as he got in.
"Adam..."Jay asked as we began driving."What is with the gas smell in this car?"
"What gas smell?" I asked.
"THE gas smell. That overpowering stench of fuel." he said, waving his arms around the front of the car.
"I don't smell anything." I said.
"Yeah, maybe this old-ass pine air freshener is covering up the smell on YOUR side of the car, but it's not working on mine." he said, looking at it. I was busy concentrating on the road and not his criticism up until I heard him start laughing.
"What is so funny?" I finally asked.
"Dude..." Jay said as he took the air freshener off of the rear view mirror, "...this piece of crud is from 1984. Did they even make these things back then?"
"Of course they did...you're holding it in your hand, aren't you?" I asked. He just continued to laugh in my general direction. "It came with the car, alright. It's vintage."
"Yeah, it sure is. Along with the rest of this...how should I put it...oh, the word JALOPY comes to mind, Adam." he said to me. I stopped at a four way stop just then and glared over at him, sitting in the passenger seat. That smugly confident look on his face. That glow in his eyes. That somehow sexily lopsided smile.
"Why do you have to PISS on everything, Jay?" I asked him, putting my foot back down on the accelerator.
"I'm not PISSING on anything. I'm just offering my constructive criticism. That's all." he responded as he leaned back in his seat.
I glanced over at him once more. "Put your seatbelt on." I said dryly.
"Yeah, I probably had better...in this death wagon." he said.
"ALRIGHT...LOOK..." I yelled a little louder than I had intended. Jay's head snapped up from the headrest.
"What?" he asked.
"Just stop talking shit about my car, okay?"
"Why...can't take a little joke? Jeez, Adam, calm down." he said, resting back into his seat.
"No, you know me and I can take a joke. But I'm proud of this, in a way. I don't care what it looks like, how much noise it makes..." I began. Jay scoffed at me. "...it runs, and I did this by myself. I don't have parents to help me pay for a car like you do." I said. I almost regretted saying it, but I had said it anyway and it couldn't be taken back now.
"Oh, here we go!" Jay yelled, throwing up his arms. "Just because my parents are helping me buy a car..." he said. He stopped, sitting silently for a few moments. "I don't want to argue with you, Adam." he finally concluded.
I didn't have the desire to argue either. I also knew deep down that there was no way that we would stay mad at each other...no matter what the other had said, so I just said sighed "Fine".
"Fine." Jay responded sternly, folding his arms over his chest.
"Fine, then. That's fine." I said, almost smiling. I could see him grinning out of the corner of my eye. "Look...I'm sorry. It was a low blow. I'm just a little more than stressed out right now. It's snowing already, and I don't think it'll get any better by the time we get there. My mom is being way too overprotective, and my body is sore."
"It's okay, I know you're an asshole sometimes...no need to apologize...I'm used to it." he said, smiling at me. "Just don't ask me to drive this thing."
"Of course not. I wouldn't let you drive my Bertha." I joked. He just laughed at me. I loved the way he laughed sometimes. I wondered how normal it was to feel this way about your best friend. It wasn't like I could ask one of the other guys, "Hey, I've been thinking about what it would be like to kiss my best friend...maybe more. Is that supposed to happen between two guys who have been friends since grade school?"
Two and a half hours into driving I was already tired of being on the road with this snow falling as fast as it was. It had started to get harder to see where I was going. Jay had dozed off there in the seat beside me. The lazy little bastard. It wasn't even dark outside yet and he was already tired.
He had a blanket that he had packed covering him. He had offered me half, but I had declined even though I was fucking cold. "Bertha" was rather drafty. Her heat didn't work very well, and I had wanted that half of the blanket. I was too afraid I would have the urge to pull him over to me and let my hand roam down his pants under there. So I said no and chose to be chilled instead.
He looked rather innocent, laying there with his head against the seat. He was snoring ever so lightly. It occurred to me that I should reach over and touch his cheek. Press the back of my hand against his skin to see how soft, how hot it was. Instead, I cinched my hand around the steering wheel and pressed on down the snowy road.
I allowed Jay to nap until he had to again read to me off from the map which direction I was supposed to be going. "Jay. Jay? Jay! JAY!!!"
"Huh???" His head lifted up slowly from under the warmth of the blanket. "What? Wha's wrong?" he asked, looking up at where I was driving.
"Don't worry, dude. We're still alive. I need you to read the map and tell me which way to turn." I said. It was almost cute, how inept he could be sometimes. He sure was a blonde.
"Oh, yeah." he said, still groggy. He pulled out the map and studied it for a long time.
"Well, where am I supposed to turn, Jay?" I asked. I watched his eyebrows closing in on each other as he stared at that map.
"Uh, well...if my calculations are correct...five miles back." he said, sheepishly looking over at me.
"WHAT?" I said, pulling off to the shoulder of the road. "Give me that map!" I said, grabbing it from him.
"You should have woken my up sooner, dude." he said, almost laughing.
I looked at him from over the top of the map. "Dude." was all I could say in return.
"You totally can't blame this one on me." he said, now laughing out loud at my unfortunate lapse in judgment. He was right, I should have woken him up sooner and asked him, but I thought I knew where I was. Apparently, I didn't. I grumbled as I traced my finger over the map to find that Jay was right. "You'd better not be mad at me." he said smiling that lopsided smile again. Maybe If I hadn't been daydreaming about how cute Jay looked when he was sleeping, I would have made the right turn.
"No. No. I'm not." I sighed. "We'll just have to turn Bertha around."
"That's the spirit." Jay said jokingly, squeezing my shoulder as he did. It set off a spark deep inside of me. I just grinned feebly. "You sure you don't want half of this blanket?" he asked.
"Yeah...I'm sure." The last thing I needed was for my roaming hands to give my feelings away.
Finally we were heading down the correct road. It had gotten darker sooner than I had anticipated. The snow hadn't let up any. There had to have been at least three or four new inches of snow on the ground that had accumulated since we started driving. We were still about three hours shy of our destination, and the way I had to drive to accommodate the snowfall, it would probably take four.
Jay was sitting in the passenger seat, humming to himself. I didn't know what he was humming. I couldn't quite figure it out. I let my eyes fall away from the road and over to Jay for a few short stolen seconds. He had his legs outstretched so that his feet were on the dash.
He held a piece of paper in his hands and was gently folding it back and forth between his slim, nimble fingers. I found myself wishing my desire was that piece of paper. Between his fingers. In his grasp. Forever manipulating it.
My mind wandered to thinking about what his hands would feel like across my back. Through my hair. On my hips. Tangled with my own. Anywhere he would be willing to put them. Who the hell was I kidding, I would never have the chance to know how any of those things felt. "I should just quit now while I'm ahead."
"The next left." he said finally. He had broken me out of a deep fantasy with just those simple three words.
'What were you humming, just now?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just whatever was in my head. I have to do something." he joked, "I think Bertha's eight track player is out of commission." he said as he pointed to the hole where the radio should have been.
"Hey, who needs real music?" I said. "I'm sure we could make our own if we really wanted to."
"Yeah, hey, I think I got one." Jay said as he began to sing.
"Driving through the snow in this piece of shit car,
I don't think we're going to get very far..."
"Okay, Jay, shut up!!!" I exclaimed. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea."
"Why not? I think I was on a roll." he laughed.
The next left came to us and as I turned down the road, we slid into the other lane. I had to pump Bertha's brakes to get them to work quickly. After a few moments, we were back on the right side of the road. "Dude, this road is shit." Jay commented as we continued to slip and slide down it.
"Yeah, it is." It looked as though this road hadn't been traveled down in the past few days at all. The snow was thick on the road, and it had begun to fall even harder from the sky now. I had to turn my wipers on to the highest setting, and still could hardly see at times.
"Are you sure this is the right way, Jay?" I questioned.
"Yeah, this is the way." he said, consulting the map.
"Damn." I said as we slowly pushed forward through the snow. I was on eggshells as we continued down the road. "Please tell me we get onto a main road again soon." I said.
"No, dude. We stay on this road for the rest of the drive." I began to curse the snow. The car. This whole trip.
When I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. The snow was falling fast, and the wind had picked up. I could barely see in front of me driving down this bitch of a road. Mom and her words were echoing through my head. Here we were, on the worst road in all of Canada. In my new car. Over four hours from home. Not another living soul on the road. In the middle of nowhere. We were going to die.
"Adam, this is pretty bad." Jay said. I could tell he was nervous. I wanted to tell him that he could trust me with his life, but I was sure he already knew. I just stared at the road, trying in vain to see where I was headed.
"How much further?" I asked.
"Another, uh...sixty miles." he sighed, folding up the map.
This becoming what would be known as the worst road trip ever, if we survived it. Driving over frozen lakes was most of the time a more calm experience than this. I longed to bang my head into the steering wheel.
Then it happened. It only took a few seconds. I lost control of the car. Bertha slid in a half circle and I tried my best to regain control of her, but it was no use. The road was just too bad. We swung around and eventually ended up, with a sickening thud, against a tree.
Are you alright?" Jay asked frantically.
I lifted my head up, saying, "Yeah, Yeah." It took me a minute to come to the reality of what had just happened. Jay. Oh, holy fuck. If I had hurt Jay... "Jay, are you okay?" I asked, reaching out for him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, putting his arm around me.
To be continued...