USDA-Certified Organic---thank you for reviewing!! Here, I don't know if these are as "good" as the Ways to Annoy William Wallace. Hey. I tried.

Disclaimer: Don't own Braveheart. Duh.

Stupid Statement: Yes, I know these are utterly stupid and random. I don't care. I was bored and uninspired to write anything else.

Ways to Annoy Stephen

1. Release the fans to glomp him ((a/n: I don't know how many Stephen fans there are, but I know I'm one!))

2. Every five minutes, ask him what God is saying

3. Follow him around and ask him to talk just so you can hear that awesome accent

4. Ask him if you can "borrow" that wicked shield/pike thing

5. Don't give it back.

6. As he walks by, mutter, "Insane Irish," under your breath

7. As you're on the battlefront waiting for the fight to start, stand in the second row and poke the back of his head. When he turns around, look away and whistle innocently

9. Run up to him and ask, "Why don't you ever say, 'Kiss me, I'm Irish'?"

10. Stare at him intently. When he asks "what?" comment that he needs a shave. Very badly.

11. Ask him if he felt left out because he couldn't moon the English at Stirling ((no kilt to lift up))

12. Put a huge, wolfish grin on your face. Ask if he knows who Hannibal is while you not-so-discretely hide a knife behind your back.

13. Steal his hard-leather tunic and hold it for ransom

14. At a moment of stealth and suspense, scream the lyrics to "Danny Boy" into his ear

15. Ask him why he just stood there when William was executed

17. Spread a rumour that he's just pretending to be Irish, and he's really an Englishman in disguise

18. In the middle of the night, dress him up in an English soldier's uniform. In the morning, when everybody's staring at him, shout, "SEE??"

20. Call him Stephanie

21. At a time of angst, pat him on the back and say, "It's okay. Don't cry, Stephanie."

22. When he chases you down for calling him that, say, "Wow, the hormones sure are skyrocketing today, aren't they, Steph? Is it That Time of the Month again?"

23. Walk in front of him at all times, shouting, "Clear away! Crazy Irishman coming through!"

24. Ask why he isn't wearing his straitjacket

25. Scribble orange, white, and green stripes onto his face while he's sleeping. When he realizes what you've done the next day and yells at you, say, "But…you look so patriotic!"

26. If he's ever sneaking around or is trying to avoid someone, scream, "Look out, they're right behind you!"

27. When he asks who "they" are, respond in a hushed voice, "The leprechauns. They're out to get you…"

28. Ask why he ripped his dagger through someone's crotch in the Battle of Stirling ((Watch the battle—he did))

29. Follow him around and sing any U2 song off pitch and as loud as you can, all day, every day

30. Mimic an Irish accent under your breath whenever he talks, even if you really suck at it

Review or flame. Someone. Please.