Again, really short! Oh, and Kyuubi is severely OOC in this...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Happy?
Deidara blinked and jumped Kyuubi in the hall, Tobi and Hidan blinking dumbly. "What the hell!? Deidara, get off me!"
"But Naru-kun said I could keep you as my pet(1). You dun wanna be pampered and spoiled(2)?" With that, Deidara sniffed sadly and gave off the cutest puppy eyes ever. (I can actually see that... XD) Kyuubi's eye twitched horribly before he sighed. "Fine." Deidara squealed and grabbed the demon, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. "Let's go get all your stuff!!" He grabbed Kyuubi's wrist and disappeared, Naruto blinking as he walked up next to Hidan. "He took what I said seriously, didn't he?"
"He's one fucked up individual. I can't believe he's actually gunna keep Kyuubi as his pet..." There was along silence before Hidan, Tobi, and Naruto yelled, "EWW!"
Itachi stared dumbly across the table, as did everyone else except Deidara, Kyuubi, and Naruto.
In front of them...
Was the almighty Kyuubi...
In a maid's dress with a collar that had a bell and was tied in the back by a large bow.
"Um... Deidara... why's Kyuubi dressed as such?"
Deidara looked up at Itachi, to Kyuubi, and back. "He's my pet."
Itachi's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he looked to Kyuubi, who didn't seem to mind. In fact, he looked rather content. "So, um... how's he taking it?"
"Ask him, not me. He may be my pet, but I can't read his mind." Itachi gulped and looked to Kyuubi, who was glaring. "How do you like being a pet, Kyuubi-san?" Kyuubi smirked at the honorific, glad he had made an eternal impression on the younger male. "I like it. Deidara really likes spoiling his pets."
Deidara nodded to the statement and went back to eating, handing Kyuubi a recently killed bird. "There's a fresh horse outside when you finish that, Kyuu-kun." Kyuubi grew a sadistic smirk, not even really caring too much about the nickname. "See? He spoils." Naruto laughed, as did Deidara but everyone else gawked. "Glad to know you like being Deidara's pet, Okaa-san." Kyuubi snapped his head upward. "What did you call me?"
"But Dei-nii-san can call you Kyuu-kun! Why can't your own son call you Okaa-san?" Kyuubi threw the bird at Naruto, hitting his eye. "Because to you, I am Otou-san!" Naruto groaned, glaring at the bird corpse. "That confuses me because the Fourth definitely wasn't female." Kyuubi's eye twitched. "You little..." He goes to lunge at Naruto but is stopped by Deidara. "I'll take the horse back."
"Nyuu! Gomen nasai, Deidara-dono! Please don't take away the horse!" Kyuubi whined like a wounded dog and nuzzled Deidara's hand causing everyone, including Deidara, to stare at the demon in absolute shock. "Um... okay, I'll keep i-!" He was cut off when Kyuubi tackled him, rubbing his cheek against Deidara's. "Yay! Thank you!"
Everyone was now officially scarred for life at the Kyuubi's... new... attitude.
"Do you really like Deidara that much?" Kyuubi looked up at Naruto like he had grown an extra head. "Wha-!?"
"Well, you seem rather close to him and all. I was just wondering because if you really do..." Naruto smiled brightly here, making Kyuubi cringe slightly. "I say go for it!"
Kyuubi glared and lunged at Naruto, tackling him to the floor and snarling. The two wrestled with each other for several minutes, causing several bruises, some broken bones, and blood. Itachi and Deidara (Oh, the irony...) ran in and pulled them apart, Itachi with Naruto and Deidara with Kyuubi. "Naruto, what the fuck are you two doing!?" Naruto growled and tried to lunge at Kyuubi but he was held back as was Kyuubi who tried to attempt the same thing.
"Stop it! You're both acting like a bunch of heathens!" Kyuubi growled at Deidara, turning to snarl at Naruto one last time as he was dragged away, hissing and snapping.
"Kyuu-kun, why did you two start fighting?" Kyuubi glared at the door before shrugging tensely. "He pissed me off." Deidara groaned and plopped down in an armchair Kyuubi hadn't noticed before, still holding Kyuubi and rested his chin on his head. "That's not a very good reason. He is your son which only makes it worse. What did he say that made you so mad?"
"Nothing." Kyuubi was feeling rather stubborn and he let it show. Deidara rolled his eyes and stood up, setting Kyuubi on the floor. "Whatever. If you're in a shitty mood, then I'm not going to mess with you. Come get me when you feel like cooperating with everyone." Before Kyuubi could argue, Deidara kissed his cheek and walked off. Kyuubi blinked and, without realizing it, blushed bright red. "W-What was that...?"
Deidara blinked and looked to the left where the door opened and closed, but saw no one. But shortly after, he felt someone climb into his lap and curl up. "So, you feeling better, Kyuu-kun?"
"Hai." Deidara smiled and pat his head. "Good. You were acting like a real bitch."
"Hey!" Deidara laughed and set up Kyuubi so he was sitting before hugging him tightly. "I was just playing. I didn't mean to offend you." Kyuubi squeaked oddly. "Hmm? Is something wrong?"
"N-No." Kyuubi stuttered and that struck Deidara as odd so he pulled away to see Kyuubi blushing brightly. "Aww, how cute. Kyuu-kun likes me, doesn't he?" Kyuubi squeaked again but nodded hesitantly. Deidara smiled brightly and kissed him softly, holding him tightly again. "That's nice to know because I like you too." Kyuubi blinked but snuggled against him, listening to his heartbeat in a content silence.
"Do you think Naruto would be pissed?" It was Deidara that broke the serene silence. "No, just shocked but his dumb ass will get over it."
1 & 2: This is based off an RP I did with a friend a few weeks ago... XD Dei-nii-san is such a pet spoiler...