Darker Side of Me –Chapter 1
So many dark times had passed and so many dark times promised to lie ahead. The world had changed from a once welcoming and brilliant place into one of morbid thoughts and turbulent times. The worst part was that this shadow that loomed over the wizarding world would soon spread into the world of the unknowing muggles. The evil grew only more and more steadily and pledged to continue to do so until it consumed every living thing.
Draco had been forced to be a part of it. He had thought that it was what he wanted… what he had been meant to do. He had been trained for this kind of mission his entire life. He had adequately played the part and always catered to people's expectations. He never disappointed. Not until lately, when he started questioning the whole thing.
The blond boy stared down at his forearm. There, both clear as day and dark as night, imprinted eternally on his skin, was the black mark that would forever haunt his dreams. It was always there to remind him of what he had done, to whom he pledged allegiance, to show the world what kind of soul resided within his body. This was a mark to set him apart from the rest of the world…to show him for what he truly was: a Death-Eater.
He should have been proud. The title of 'Death-Eater' was not passed out lightly. It was a title that made him of increased status. He was above all others. He was free to do as he wished, not bound by the rules of the everyday wizard. He held his head high, for a moment, as he waited in the empty room. He sat on cold stone and was surrounded by taunting images of horrifying things. This was where he belonged. Wasn't it?
Lately, Draco had been reconsidering his decisions. He had been feeling grave doubt about who he was… what he was. He continued his insomniac habits as every time he laid his head to rest, he was tormented by images of the things he has witnessed… the things he would have to do some day soon. It made him sick and so instead he suppressed the images and taught himself to treat it all like a twisted fantasy instead of reality. It was easier to bear that way…
"He is ready for you, young Malfoy," a voice came to him from the doorway at the far end of the room. Draco nodded, got to his feet and walked determinedly over to the opening. His heart was racing and his head was trying to tell his legs to run in the opposite direction. His entire being wanted him to forget about this. It wanted him to run away and hide. It was not ready for him to face the kinds of tasks he had witnessed…. It was not ready for him to perform them on command. But Draco ignored his better judgment and moved forwards into the room where he would meet his fate.
"Draco," the silky voice of the tall cloaked man before him said. He knew who this was but did not dare look directly at him. "I have a very special task for you… should you accept." It was common knowledge that refusing would entail your death. The question was more a test of your loyalty than it was freedom to choose. Draco listened carefully to his master's demands and nodded carefully.
"I accept." His heart tremors increased and he felt as though he was going to die. Perhaps he would. At least that way he would be able to escape what was laid out for him to do.
It was early morning and everyone in the Gryffindor dormitory was sound asleep. All except for one student who lay awake, staring at the red velvet drapes around his bed, wishing that he could stop dreaming, stop imagining, stop thinking in general.
Harry sat up in his bed and grabbed his head. He slowly tugged at his messy black hair, shutting his eyes tight and hoping that when he opened them again, everything would have changed and he would be someone else, somewhere else, with not so gargantuan problems. He wished that everything that had happened as of late, had simply not. He wished that he could go back in time and make it so that Sirius had not died… he wished he could go all the way back to third year and somehow avoid the whole scene in front of the whomping willow and catch the escaping Scabbers so that none of this whole mess could have ever happened. He wanted to fix everything and just make life better. But shutting his eyes and pulling his hair at 4 A.M. would not make this happen and he knew it.
Wrenching open his drapery, Harry picked up his invisibility cloak, threw it over himself and walked out of the dormitory. He needed to get some air and clear his mind.
The black-haired Gryffindor walked out into the halls of Hogwarts heading for the doors to the grounds. He thought about everything that had happened and about what he was eventually going to have to do. He thought about the Order and he thought about Dumbledore and he thought about Sirius. Every time his mind came to rest on his godfather, his heart stopped and he felt overwhelming emotions spread throughout his body. He quickly shifted his thoughts to something else.
As he walked however, he noticed something strange. There was a faint but desperate cry coming from one of the hallways ahead. He hurried his steps until he sought out the source. When he did, he stopped dead and dumb, staring at what it was.
Draco Malfoy was standing in an empty, almost forgotten alcove, hitting himself in the head with his fists. He sunk to the ground and leaned his head against his knees. Harry froze, forgetting that he had his cloak for a moment. Once he remembered he had the impulse to laugh to himself, wanting to take joy in Draco's misery. But he couldn't.
Something of this situation struck a chord inside of Harry and he could only bring himself to feel pity for his blonde enemy. Draco seemed so vulnerable and broken, hitting himself the way he was. Harry quieted his own thoughts and breath to attempt to hear what the boy before him was muttering.
"What have I gotten myself into?" he was mumbling, the desperation growing in his voice. "I can't do this… He doesn't deserve that… no one deserves that. But there's no way out… I'm so dead…I'm so dead… I don't want to do this…" Draco then lifted his head and stared straight into Harry's eyes. The look was so penetrating, Harry feared that the Slytherin had somehow known that he was there, but then he continued to talk to himself in a manner that assured Harry Draco thought he was alone.
Harry stepped back, feeling as though one more second next to this broken and diminished Draco would bring him to do something he might regret. He rushed back to the dormitory before the sun rose, got back into bed and hoped that he could ignore what he had just witnessed.
Harry, of course, could not. And he dreamt of Draco for the next few nights…
"I'm off to practice for a while, I'll see you two later!" Harry called to Ron and Hermione. It was three weeks after that night in the castle and Harry's head was still full to the brim with horrible memories. He had considered investing in a pensieve, though he figured it was not a good idea to leave his thoughts lying around with so many after him. Instead, Harry preferred to distract himself by flying.
He made his way to the Quidditch pitch, already dressed and carrying spare clothes in a bag over his shoulder. He dropped his bag in the changing rooms and made his way out onto the pitch.
Once on his broom and soaring through the air, Harry felt all his worries and troubles melt away, as though he left them with his bag, back on the ground, back in reality. He was free now, soaring and flipping in the air. He pulled off some of his more risky tricks as he shed his inhibitions and liberated his mind.
He flew for over an hour before decided to call it quits and get back to his real life. He landed gently and got off his broom, hoping to go take a shower and then meet Ron and Hermione in the library to finish his schoolwork. He smiled, feeling much better as he walked towards the changing rooms.
"That was a very impressive display, Potter." A slow drawl broke the peace and came to Harry from near one of the stands. The Gryffindor turned to see the very object of his torment staring at him from not too far on the pitch. "Though I don't quite understand why you were trying so hard, no one was here to impress, except me anyway."
"No, you were right the first time. No one here to impress." Draco strode over to him, a sly smirk drawing itself on his pale features. Harry rolled his eyes and made his way towards the changing rooms.
"Ooh, feisty aren't we?" Draco cocked his eyebrows and smirked at Harry, following him towards the change rooms. Harry stopped and turned to the Slytherin, his good mood dissolving and seeking nothing but peace from the little ferret.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry demanded of him, grimacing at the boy. Draco smirked as he stopped next to Harry.
"You know what I think?" Draco asked silkily, leaning in close to Harry as if to confess a secret. "I think you were showing off for me. Either that or you were hoping some of your fangirls might show up to take pictures."
"You are a bastard, you know that?" Harry spat, as he resumed his journey to take his shower. Draco stepped in front of him to stop him.
"My, aren't you sexy when you're angry," he stated rather bluntly. "I can see why you keep up this brooding look, it must work wonders to get you a good shag." Harry stood still a moment, shocked out of his mind until he shook it off, thinking that Draco was just trying to provoke him.
"Don't you have anything better to do than bother me?" Harry sneered. "Like suck off Snape or something. I mean that must be why you do so well in Potions. Gawd knows you're rubbish at manual labor." Draco shrugged it off.
"At least I can please," Draco mused. "Unlike you who seems to have a terrible track record with lovers. Or is it that you just haven't found the right kind of person to take control?" Harry ignored him and threw open the door to the locker room before turning to Draco with a smirk.
"No wait," he said through fake realization. "I know. It's not you that does the pleasing." Harry grinned darkly. "I knew your father and Snape were far too close." Harry shook his head. "Must Daddy do everything for you?" Draco's smirk finally flickered before he pushed Harry backwards into the locker room and locked the door behind him. Harry's eyes darted to the door and back to Draco, who was pulling out his wand. Harry froze, trying to remember which pocket of his bag held his wand.
"You know nothing of my father, Potter." Draco stated, the silkiness gone from his tone. It was instead replaced with icy disdain. "I am perfectly capable of fighting my own battles and I can prove it to you." Draco pointed his wand at Harry's neck.
"You coward, you are going to attack me when I'm unarmed?" Harry spat, his muscles tense. Draco slipped his cloak off, without letting down his wand.
"Not the kind of battle I had in mind, Potter." The strange glint in Malfoy's eyes unnerved Harry as he stood very still, not knowing how to react. Malfoy pressed his wand to the hem of Harry's shirt and dragged it down until it ripped and fell to shreds on the floor, leaving the Gryffindor shirtless and sweaty before him.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Harry yelled, staring in shock at his shirt in pieces on the ground. Draco laid his wand on his cloak and stepped forwards briskly, pushing Harry against the cold wall behind him.
"I told you, I'm proving to you that I can fight my own battles," Draco replied, pressing his body against Harry's. Harry's mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do. He found himself paralyzed, despite himself.
"You're insane!" Harry finally yelled, finding nothing else to say. Malfoy smiled at him and pressed his lips against Harry's mouth, roughly pulling at the Gryffindor's shoulders. As he did this, Harry found himself overcome with senseless emotions. Malfoy's tongue pressed through his lips and Harry could not fight back. He allowed the blonde boy's tongue to explore his mouth and he even found himself pressing back into the embrace.
Harry grabbed Draco's shirt and pulled it off him. His actions were filled with rage and anger as he threw the shirt aside and allowed the blonde Slytherin to push him to the floor. Harry exhaled and moaned as Draco broke the kiss and began to suckle his neck instead. Malfoy ran his hands down Harry's chest, his fingers finding their way to the boy's belt. He loosened the buckle and pulled them away from Harry's waist, leaving him in nothing but boxer shorts. Malfoy lifted his head to look Harry up and down. He smiled, his eyes resting on Harry's boxers.
"I knew I must have been the one you were showing off for," he deduced from Harry's excitement. Harry grimaced, his heart beating in his ears.
"Shut up, you jerk," Harry snapped, his cheeks flushing red. His breath was short and his words were sharp. Malfoy ran his tongue from Harry's navel to his jaw.
"You know, your showing off really did work on me…" Draco whispered in Harry's ear, nipping at the lobe as he ground his hips into the other boy's. Harry gasped and wrapped his arms around Draco, pressing into the small of his back. Harry unintentionally arched his back as Draco's tongue found its way back to Harry's mouth.
The black haired boy pulled Draco's pants down, as his mouth hungered more for Draco's taste. The blonde one pulled up, smiling as Harry removed his pants.
"What do you think, Potter?" he smirked as Harry's eyes roved downwards and he blushed a soft pink upon the sight of Draco's naked body. Draco didn't wait for a reply. Instead, he removed Harry's boxers and swallowed gently, licking his lips. "So, you want me to prove I can please?"
"N-no…" Harry hadn't managed to answer fully, however, before Draco's tongue was running up his length, teasing him more and more. His eyes shut hard, unable to take what was being done to him. Then Harry felt Draco engulf his entirety into his mouth and suckle gently, pulling and pushing as he did so. Potter felt his hands reach for Malfoy's head, encouraging his actions, but Harry couldn't really believe any of it. Draco's tongue drew intricate little drawings along Harry's shaft before he lifted his head and pressed his hips into Harry again.
"I told you I was good," Draco smirked, his eyes bright and sneaky all at once. Harry's breathing was rapid and so he could not bring himself to speak. He kissed Draco, pulling the boy close to him. Draco complied for a moment, but then pulled away and shook his head. He pulled Harry's legs up over his arms, licked his own hand and encircled his own pride. "I'm not done yet, Potter. Don't let up or it won't be worth it." Draco smiled and gently massaged Harry's opening before penetrating him.
Harry gasped and grimaced, no longer able to distinguish pain from pleasure. Draco pushed in deeper and deeper, grinding into the Gryffindor hard. Harry allowed him to take control, and could do nothing but drop his arms to the floor on either side of him.
Draco panted now too, pulling and pushing harder and harder. Harry could no longer see, nor think. He felt fireworks explode behind his eyes as he reached his climax and could no longer hold on. Draco seemed not to last much longer either, as Harry suddenly felt warm and sticky liquid inside. Draco pulled out and dropped down next to his lover. They both panted and stared at each other with half-lidded eyes, not knowing what to say.
They were both about to fall asleep when Harry did something neither of them expected. He kissed Draco. He kissed him with a tenderness that had not been present during their intercourse.
"What was that for?" Draco murmured, a little confused. Harry flushed red.
"I… I don't know." He was speechless and lost, never having been in a situation like this.
"I knew you wanted me," Draco mused, a smile drawing itself on his face. This smile, however, was not his usual cocky smirk. It was real and neither of them realized it.
Two nights later, Draco found himself standing before a fire pit with the face of his father in the embers. His expression was sullen though he continued to think of the unexpected end to the event. He tried hard to mask his feelings from his father, who would have lashed him if he knew.
"Have you accomplished anything yet, Draco?" Lucius' commanding and cold voice inquired of his son. Draco nodded gravely.
"I have made some progress, despite… unprecedented reactions…" Draco was mildly proud of his phrasing. His father, however, took no notice in his pride.
"Very well, you know what will become of both of us if you do not succeed. Do not disappoint me." Then, with a wisp of smoke, Lucius Malfoy was gone and Draco was left, staring into a fire, thinking far more deeply about a certain boy than he ever meant to.