What do you get when you mix three really short guys and a big rig?
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the shows they belong to (yet). This is a really short fic.
"Ow! Hiei! That was my foot!" Edward Elric exclaimed, glancing down at the demon at his feet. Touya, Shinobi master of ice, sat near his other foot, at the gas pedal. Hiei, therefore, was handling the brake.
"Well if you'd pay better attention I wouldn't have to slam on the damn brake!" Hiei retorted, angry that he was stuck on the floor.
"Edward, why can't Hiei or I drive?" Touya asked, his body cramping in the small space.
"Are you joking?! You are a shinobi! A ninja! You don't know how to drive! And Hiei would be trying to run over every human in sight!" the Elric replied. Hiei grinned evilly.
"Well, now that you've brought it up..." the fire demon began, his white teeth glinting brilliantly and his eyes illuminating amusement. Edward gulped.
"I was joking." he stated.
"Funny. I wasn't." Hiei responded. Edward glanced down at him.
"How'd we get talked into this? I mean, a damn car's hard enough to drive. But a big rig? How'd we end up driving a big rig?" Touya lamented, his back becoming stiff and sore.
"Well...Everyone else is drunk, for starters. Never knew you could wire a car, Hiei." Ed said, smiling.
"Hmph...Just shut up and make sure we don't crash. If we die, I'll murder you." the fire demon commented. Touya glanced over at him.
"How does that work? If we die, you can't kill us cause we're already dead." the ice master pointed out, missing the human joke.
"Touya, he knows that. He's just being a smart-ass." Ed stated, earning a glare from Hiei. At that moment they ran over a bump.
"Edward, careful. Everyone else is in the back. They'll get tossed around if you don't watch it." Touya growled.
"Watch it? I can hardly see over the dash board! You just keep pressing that gas pedal, ice freak."
"Ice freak! You bastard! It's better than being half metal!" Touya responded.
"Oh yeah? Well at least I don't look like a goddamn idiot! Blue hair isn't in style much these days!"
"Oh! Then what is? Being half scrap metal! And for your information, my hair is blue naturally! I can't help it!"
"Both of you shut up! You're giving me a headache!" Hiei shouted, slamming on the brakes. Ed zoomed forward, whacking his head on the dash. Touya banged his head on Ed's metal leg.
"Ow..." the two said in unison, rubbing their heads where they had collided with other solid objects.
"That's what you get for pissing me off, bitches." the fire demon said smugly.
"Bastard..." Ed growled. A horn honked behind them.
"Hey! What's the hold up? You get yer license from a pez dispenser?" called a very heavy man from the vehicle behind. The three in the rig each lifted an eyebrow.
"Wanna kick his ass?" Ed asked.
"Well I sure as hell don't wanna lick it." Touya said in response.
"I doubt anyone does." Hiei stated.
Needless to say...Well, if a big fat guy runs into three short guys and insults them, especially when two are demons...Heh. Can some one say paramedic? Or, bye bye, Mr. Fatso. You sure left a lot of ash.