in concurrence with "a royal pain"

These are two "sidestories" if you will, I think there's bound to be full length tales because this series begs for so many things.

royal blue / royal purple

(royal blue)

royal blue (in concurrence with "a royal pain")


It rained for three straight days after they were married.

Umeda-hime would've said that it showed the universe's generally opinion of them, but Akiha-ouji would've thought them tears of joy.

Though, Umeda-hime had only vaguely noticed the scent and sound of the rain, he barely got out of bed for the week, occasionally making it as much as three or even four steps before he was pounced on and dragged shrieking and flailing back under the covers.


Umeda-hime finds, with a certain unsettling feeling, that the idiot, – i his husband /I actually

fits into his family better than he does. Unsettling, but not particularly surprising.

His mother is overjoyed and soon they're having garden parties, where she shamelessly shows off her new, lovely and kind son-in-law. She endlessly finds ways to tell every other mother just how thoughtful and intelligent he is, Akiha-ouji grows under this attention like a flower to the first ray of spring in its lifetime.

Akiha-ouji is so happy that he helps pass a law stating that Umeda-hime never has to wear clothes again. Strangely, this helps contribute to Umeda-hime's near disappearance and relocation to his bedroom at least fifty times a day.


"It's kind of odd, you know"

Umeda-hime sent a withering glare his way, and accidentally fried a nearby potted plant in the process.

"I don't even know your first name, and we're married." Akiha-ouji continues, even though he's treading on extremely thin ice with leaden shoes.

Umeda-hime looked like he just might find Akiha-ouji's head as his next favorite ashtray.

Finally, he looks rolled his eyes heavenwards, and answered.

"It's Hokuto."


(royal purple)


The day Hokuto was born, the court was in a state of euphoria. The day of the christening was nearing. Every fairy was invited this time, to prevent any cliched fairytales from happening yet again, just like what happened to great aunt Seralinda the third, and Shantilly the seventh, and Trillina the fiftith, plus Shalna the two-hundredth, who was cursed to wear only unflattering shades of mauve the rest of her days when faced with a slighted fairy.

For every prince and princess had hundreds of pastel fairies to bestow gifts or gifts which might become curses or just curses if you forgot them or made mention of their horrendous dressing sense.

Ephfinda came first. She lifted him and gave him beauty and grace, and narrowly missed having her white sequined and puffy dress being stained yellow. (at least his bladder was strong, she said)

Shyna came next, and bestowed the gift of great intelligence. The young prince almost tore off a piece of wing when it came too close to his head a few too many times.

Renil bestowed health and a certain healing ability, and Umeda almost sunk his teeth into her too pale and far too damn sparkly skin.

Clarisse was wearing a particularly deadful assortment of pink, ruffles and tacky stones and Umeda showed his opinion of that dress by vomiting all over the front. She was a good enough sport to give him conversation skills.

But it was Marge who came last.

She wore a very different style of clothes, a simple black dress and long striped stockings, with black pointed three inch heels.

"If you think this is going to be a damn 'sappy fairytale' you're in for another thing entirely" she stubbed out a cigarette with her black pointed shoes.

She lifted Holuto and muttered about stupid events with a few choice words, the other fairies covered their ears for each profanity. Hokuto giggled.

"Now that's a good boy.. Something different, finally." she said.

"You'll have a fucking personality, not some 'dandy who does whatever daddy says', wit and sarcasm sharp enough to cut flesh with, all the boys will chase after you but you'll get the best one even if you're too stubborn to admit it." She ponder him a moment more before finishing. "Oh, and you'll be a great lay."

"But that's our new prince!" cried one nobleman.

"Oops. Looks like he's gay now." she shrugged and pulled out another cigarette. Hokuto grabbed at it, reaching with his little fingers, and Marge cracked a smile for the first time.

Ladies fainted, and the couturiers turned to each other in shock and horror. But the queen, having a bit of fairy blood in her as well, gave her own blessing.

"You'll be a great queen, one of the greatest in history, you'll be strong enough to take down anyone who tries to cut you down or hurt you, and if that fails, then mommy will come and beat them down because mommy loves you!" With that, the last blessing was cast.

"All hail Umeda-hime, my beautiful, perfectly fine son who will one day be queen!"