This is another one I wrote way back before the secret was revealed. It's just another stupid little story that popped into my head. This one doesn't have much of a plot so I don't know if you'll like it, I hope so but…..
Sam sat on the edge of the bed in the motel room staring at his blood covered hands. He felt exhausted. But not only exhausted, he just felt empty. He listened to the sounds of Dean shaving in the bathroom. They had just come back from a successful hunt and he could tell his brother was looking forward to hitting the bars for a few hours to celebrate. He knew Dean would be expecting him to go out with him tonight but the truth was he had no desire to. All he wanted was to lie down and die. Die? Had he really thought that? Didn't he mean lie down and get some rest? Yeah, that's what he meant.
"Come on Sam let's get moving." Dean said as he came out of the bathroom and noticed that Sam still had on his blood splattered hunting clothes. "The bars are only open for a few more hours and I'm in the mood for love." He said as he splashed cologne on his neck.
"You know Dean, maybe I'll sit this one out."
"You sick or something?" Dean said as he walked over and stood in front of his brother.
"No, I just don't feel like going out."
"Why? What's wrong now Sam? You've been acting like your dog died for the last few days. What's up?"
"Nothing, can't I just not want to go out?"
"Ahhh come on, it'll do you good."
Sam didn't feel like arguing with Dean so he went into the bathroom and removed his bloody clothes. He tossed them into the corner of the bathroom on top of Dean's hunting clothes. Sometime later they needed to hit the Laundromat. If anyone saw the blood on their clothing there would be a lot of questions that they knew no one would believe the answers to. He knew he should shower but instead just washed his hands and put on clean clothes. Dean might be spending the night looking for love but he knew he wouldn't be. He still missed Jess and had no desire to look for a replacement, even if it was only for a one night stand. He and Jess had been planning on getting married after they graduated from college. But his hopes and dreams had been shattered the night she died. An overwhelming feeling of loneliness came over him and he leaned against the sink and looked into the mirror. He hadn't been sleeping well and he could see the dark circles under his eyes. His mom was dead, Jess was dead, and now his dad was gone…. All he had left was Dean and that should be enough. And it was, at least he thought it was….but what if he lost Dean….What if something happened to Dean and he was all alone. The thought terrified him.
"Come on Sammy let's go!" Dean yelled from the bedroom interrupting his thoughts.
Sam looked in the mirror and ran his hand through his hair then walked into the bedroom.
"You look like hell Sam, at least comb your hair."
Sam once more ran his fingers through his hair.
"Oh that's a lot better." Dean said sarcastically.
"You're so anxious to go, well then let's go."
Dean was going to snap back with a wisecrack but something about the look on his brother's face made him stop.
"Sam you look like shit, are you feeling okay? Tell me the truth."
"I feel fine Dean, let's go." Sam grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
Dean was starting to get worried as he watched Sam walk away. Something definitely was bothering him, but what it was he had no idea. He picked up his jacket and followed his brother to the car.
When they got to the bar they played a few rounds of pool of which Dean won every round. He could tell Sam wasn't even trying to win. He played well, but Dean could tell his heart wasn't in it. Soon some men challenged Dean to a game and Sam walked over to the bar and sat down while Dean took them on.
Sam sat at the bar drinking beer after beer and just staring at his glass between sips. The man sitting next to him watched for awhile and finally spoke up.
"You look a little down buddy."
Sam heard the man's voice but wasn't really paying any attention to what he said not realizing he was talking to him.
"You okay buddy, you seem a little down?" The man repeated.
"Oh, oh I'm sorry…." Sam said glancing over at the man. "I didn't know you were talking to me."
"That's okay. You just seem like you lost your best friend."
"No, no nothing like that." Sam gave a little smile. "Just tired."
"Looks more then just tired to me…. I got a little something that might perk you up." The man reached in his pocket and pulled out a blue pill. "This will cure what ails you." The man glanced around the bar then laid the pill in front of Sam.
"No thanks." Sam pushed the pill back toward the man. "I'm not into that."
"Hey, why don't you keep it." The man pushed the pill back toward Sam. "You never know when you might need a little something to get you through the day."
Sam didn't feel like going back and forth with the man so he picked up the pill and put it in his pocket.
"Thanks." He said as he downed his beer.
"Try it, I'm sure you'll like it…and there's plenty more where that came from."