Title: It Takes All Sorts of People
Summary: Tsuzuki, a sock puppet, frightened/cranky coworkers, and unfinished paperwork. "It takes all sorts of people to make a world."
Disclaimer: This was purely for fun. I own nothing of Yami No Matsuei. Also, I am not receiving any form of pay for doing this.
Also I would like to thank my friends, Marie Delcore in particular, for helping me with the flow of ideas and generally giving my ego a boost. lol
It Takes All Sorts of People
"It takes all sorts of people to make a world." --- unknown
Everybody had idiosyncrasies. They were what made the world an interesting place, right? Of course. But some people definitely possessed more individuality than others, not to mention creativity. Tsuzuki Asato just happened to be one of those people. Some days Hisoka could stand him. Some days Hisoka couldn't do without him. And then again, on some days, he drove Hisoka crazy.
Hisoka didn't really have a childhood, so he really had never experienced any children's television programs –like the ones with the goofy, bouncy puppets that resembled road-kill if you looked at them just right, for example. If he had, he might have been feeling a sense of nostalgia.
"Good morning, 'Soka-chan!" The sock thrust in his face cooed, its "mouth" curving up into a disturbingly, almost cute sort of smile. A button eye flashed in the sunlight that peered through the window.
"Tsuzuki, what the hell?" Hisoka 's voice was sharp, and annoyed. And to think that the work day was barely five minutes old.
The sock's "jaw" seemed to drop, and Hisoka could have sworn he saw the button eyes droop. "Who's that? My name is Coco!" If socks had feelings, it seemed that this one felt insulted.
Hisoka looked incredulous. "Tsuzuki, honestly, what is the point of having a sock on your hand? Are those buttons sewn on there?" Taking a closer look, he took in the carefully drawn tongue with pink marker –which he had no doubt was permanent. Again, Tsuzuki had managed to utterly ruin something.
The sock actually looked frustrated. But then, it "grinned" infectiously. "So how was your morning?" it drawled happily, pushing itself further into the boy's face so Hisoka was more or less forced to look into its creepy little button eyes.
Hisoka merely raised a brow and sat down behind his desk. He started shuffling some papers. "Tsuzuki, seriously, take that thing off." He pointedly glared at Coco, who suddenly looked very crestfallen for being a sock, comprised of only cotton and perhaps a little polyester.
Turning to look at Tsuzuki, Coco (Tsuzuki) whimpered, "you're right, Tsu! He is mean."
Tsuzuki patted Coco's –the sock's, head. "I know. He never lets me do anything. And he calls me names." Tsuzuki sounded more crestfallen than his pathetic creation, but the sock looked more pitiable.
Hisoka took out a pen. He was not going to indulge Tsuzuki's inner child and encourage this behavior.
Tsuzuki continued to talk to himself –Coco, for another fifteen minutes. It reminded the younger Shingami of someone with schizophrenia, and it was only stopped as Watari bounced happily into the room, projecting happiness all over the place in a way that actually made Hisoka grumpier (if that were possible). Tsuzuki probably would have kept up the conversation between Tsuzuki-Shingami, and Tsuzuki-Sock, for a long while if the scientist hadn't chosen to make an entrance.
"Good morning, Watari!!" Coco proclaimed, oddly enough, he sounded a bit more like Tsuzuki this time.
The scientist stopped short, not sure what one was supposed to do when confronted by a grinning sock. He hadn't laced the coffee or tea yet this morning, so why was Tsuzuki playing with a sock puppet? Then he remembered: it was Tsuzuki, which explained everything.
"Ahhh…Good morning, Mr. Sock."
The sock looked disgruntled. Though, for a sock, it looked pretty cute. And one thing Hisoka liked about it in particular was that it had no emotions –none, zip, zilch, nada. But then again, that was sort of creepy.
"You better call it Coco. It gets offended pretty easily." Hisoka cut in grumpily. Watari's confusion was giving him a headache.
Watari nodded, "oh, I see." Although, Hisoka noticed that this didn't seem to clarify much of anything.
Tsuzuki shook his head and glared defensively at Hisoka on dear Coco's behalf. After all, the sock couldn't very easily defend itself –the poor thing. "Coco only gets offended when people are mean to him. I don't know why people are mean to him." He stroked, the sock puppet's head affectionately, which, remember, was actually his own hand. "He's really such a nice person."
Hisoka just sighed, deciding he didn't want to look up from his work. Reading about someone who had gotten disemboweled by some ghoul with a God-complex was much more preferable, although only about half as interesting.
By now, Watari was making his way slowly to the door. Did sock puppets usually attack people? Maybe not. But if Tsuzuki controlled this one like he controlled his Shikigami than anything was possible. "Well, have a good morning, Bon, Tsuzuki and ahhh…Coco."
"You too!" Coco cried happily. If he would have had little sock-puppet hands, they would have been clapping.
Hisoka wasn't sure how much of this he could stand without blowing a blood vessel in his forehead, so when Coco suggested that he and Tsuzuki should hit the vending machines he couldn't have been more relieved. That is, until Tsuzuki realized he needed money. Naturally, he sent Coco to do his dirty work for him, sort of.
"'Soka…" The thing's voice sounded like a giddy little kid's. It leered into Hisoka's face, grinning widely for a sock-puppet.
"I didn't ask anything!!" it wailed in protest.
"I'm empathetic," he glared past the sock puppet, at Tsuzuki. "You baka."
Coco "looked" at Tsuzuki. If his eyes could get larger, they would have been huge, at least, if you judged by the tone in his voice. "You didn't tell me that!"
Tsuzuki looked guilty. "Oops, I forgot."
Hisoka resisted the urge to rip the sock-puppet from his partner's hands. This was beyond ridiculous. "If I give you money, will you get out?" He hissed.
Tsuzuki looked at Coco, and the puppet nodded. "Alrighty, thanks 'Soka!" The elder Shinigami grinned, looking frighteningly like he was ready to glomp his younger co-worker.
"It's Hisoka." The boy growled, giving Tsuzuki enough money for one item from the vending machine.
"What about me!?" Coco cried in dismay.
"Starve," Hisoka said matter-of-factly.
Frowning sulkily, and stretching a frown in Coco's face, Tsuzuki left the room –sock puppet still animated on his hand. Hisoka shook his head. Tsuzuki's emotions weren't half as dejected as he looked, the idiot.
What was Tatsumi going to do when he heard about this? Dock Tsuzuki's pay? Or would Tsuzuki be entitled to more pay due to mental instability? Hisoka had never wondered about this before –though considering the dangers in his job he should have, but did Shingami have medical insurance? And with Shingami did mental illness even count? Probably not. Tatsumi would have found a way to eliminate that already.
Coco, meet Terazuma, Hisoka thought cynically as he put pen to paper. Terazuma's frustration leaked into the office and Hisoka wasn't surprised to find tendrils of homicidal thought already sifting through the pointy-eared Shinigami's mind.
"GET YOUR STINKY SOCK AWAY FROM ME!"
"But he loves you Terazuma-" Tsuzuki crooned all too happily. He was probably shoving his dirty laundry –Coco, up Terazuma's nose right about now. Wakaba was probably suffocating in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Poor Terazuma, Hisoka thought, blushing at the word choices he knew his partner was deliberately using.
Terazuma stormed angrily by the office door, scarlet to the points of his ears, looking like he was likely to morph at any given moment. A giggling Wakaba trailed behind, every now and again leaning against the wall for support as she was having trouble breathing between belly-laughs. Hisoka couldn't say that Terazuma didn't deserve what he got, but Tsuzuki could be a little mean in his own, devious, childish way.
Peace and quiet reigned for the moment. Hisoka reveled in it.
Minutes later Tsuzuki reappeared with a jolly smirk on his face, radiating happiness that could only come from a confectioner's goodness. In its mouth, Coco carried the king-size bar of solid chocolate. Hisoka found this disgusting on two different levels. First of all….the food Tsuzuki would eat was in that thing's mouth, sock or not. Secondly, Tsuzuki had probably consumed nearly all the doughnuts from the break room already. His blood sugar should be sky high.
Just as Tsuzuki was about to indulge his need for the unnecessary –the candy bar, Tatsumi's voice came over the loud speaker. It sounded like he was seeing how long he could last without oxygen intake.
"Mr. Tsuzuki, I need to see you in my office." It bleeped off.
Hisoka buried his face in his hands. Tsuzuki was projecting his disappointment very strongly. Sighing with all the dejection of a whipped puppy, he made his way somberly out the door. Dear Coco went with, dangling from his hand.
Tatsumi waited for Tsuzuki to come in and then demanded that he take a seat in the conveniently placed chair in front of his desk. Tsuzuki's looked like he was ready to go inu any second. He was never called down here unless he was in trouble and right now he was wracking his brain for what he might have done this time. Coco, still on his hand, lay in his lap –expressionless.
The chief came in, shutting the door behind him in a way that was so quiet it was creepy.
Oh no! Tsuzuki's mind screamed, quickly entering panic mode. Interrogation! "Hey boss!" He smiled, chipper as always.
Neither of his superiors was fooled. Tatsumi arched a brow and shook his head before adjusting his glasses. "Tsuzuki-san, you do realize this is the workplace, right?"
"TSUZUKI!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CARRYING A SOCK PUPPET AROUND FOR?" chief Konoe bellowed, slamming his fist on Tatsumi's desk in a way that made the secretary wince inside. So much for using tact…
Tsuzuki looked crestfallen. "Boss, shhhhh, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassse! He thinks he's a Shinigami!" He cradled the sock puppet –hand and all, against his chest in a defensive gesture.
Konoe was not amused. Tatsumi feigned dispassion. "Tsuzuki-san, do try to be serio-"
"Tsuzuki, do you realize you are compromising our department's social standing?!!!!" Really, the Shinigami had compromised it a long time ago, despite his powerful standing, but Konoe still had a point.
Tsuzuki sank into his chair before sprouting a fluffy white tail and matching ears, looking like a puppy that had just gotten caught leaving a puddle on the floor. "I'm sorry," he said softly, still cradling the puppet.
Tatsumi was certain that they were finally getting through.
"…But Coco really wanted to come into work today."
It was time for another approach. "Tsuzuki, regardless of all of that, Terazuma wants to file for harassment."
Tsuzuki actually snickered, proving he knew darn well what was going on. He wasn't even half as stupid as he let on. Hisoka could vouch for this, even if he didn't want to.
"What does Kurosaki have to say about all of this?" Tatsumi's voice was composed, even if it was obvious he was reaching the end of his patience. Konoe stood calmly by.
A small explosion shook the building. Leave it to Watari to accidentally make the perfect distraction. Tatsumi winced, straightening his glasses. Konoe covered his face with a wrinkled hand. "We'll have to talk later, Tsuzuki. Apparently, Watari has destroyed the lab yet again."
Tsuzuki grinned like a million dollars before bouncing out of the room with a friendly, "later chief!" Seconds later, Coco peeked around the door. "See you boss!" he squeaked cheerily before disappearing.
The End? Probably, I doubt I will continue this piece. It was just for fun. My sister and I got into talking about sock puppets somehow, and I jut figured that it sounded like something Tsuzuki might take interest in if he got bored enough.
Please review! This is my first and mostly likely last, YnM fic. Okay, maybe not last, but fan fiction is on my back burner big time with the end of High School approaching and college coming. That, and my original work is demanding my attention. Thanks for reading.