I own nothing...


26. Spend all his money buying Jack Sparrow merchandise.

27. Buy him a cell phone.

28. Make him pay for it.

29. Blast "I'm in Love with a Stripper" around him.

30. Change it to, "I'm in Love with a Shorty"

31. Give him a granola bar every time you see him. MAKE SURE HE EATS IT!

32. Insist on him wearing a hat when he goes outside. Even if it is in the middle of the Caribbean. Where it's hot.

33. By bumper stickers of Jack Sparrow and post them all over his ship.

34. When he gets his cell phone, make sure it only has Norrington's number and a little heart next to it.

35. Every time you see him, scream, "YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A SHORTY!"

36. When he's talking to you, stare very carefully at him, trying not to blink.

37. When he gives you an order, always say, "AYE AYE MRS.NORRINGTON!"

38. Laugh every time you see eraser shavings.

39. When he asks you what's so funny about them, stare very seriously at him and say, "I don't talk to shorties."

40. Spray Febeeze everywhere, making sure you get the areas where he sits the most.

41. Buy him an ostrich.

42. Tell him that he needs someone to share his feeling with, and he's too short for you to listen, because you will need to bend your neck just to look at him.

43. Get him a Jack Sparrow costume for Halloween.

44. Make him watch AWE with you 3 billion times, and laugh when he gets blown up, screaming, "BOOM GOES THE SHORTY!"

45. Constantly remind him how short he is.

46. When he says hello to you, yell, "YOU WASSUP MY HOMIE?"

47. Get him a Jack Sparrow towel, and tell him he needs to go to the beach, cuz he's pale.

48. Go on huge roller coasters, and tell him that you're sorry, but he's not tall enough.

49. Read him stuff like this.

50. Itch your knee every time he says "Potato."