By The Way
Yeah, I forgot a few important things. I'll try to make it brief though, since you've listened to my rambling long enough. Just don't expect all the funny of the first chapter. I'm not that dedicated.
II. Sentence Structure (The deleted scenes)
So it seems that I DO have something to tell you about sentence structure. But don't get your hopes up. It's not much. There's one thing really that you should remember when it comes to sentence structure and that is simply this: Switch It Up!
If at all possible, never start two consecutive sentences with the same word. If that do that your language will sound dull and unoriginal. If you continue to repeat yourself and use the same sentence structure no one will want to read your story. If you keep doing that, reading it will seem like a chore.
I think this especially goes for the words "I" and "The". I believe that using "I" at the beginning of each sentence is the textual equivalent to worshiping the devil. I know this sounds extreme, but it's true. The thing is that this all goes back to what I said in the first chapter about being predictable. The readers of your story will quickly loose interest if you don't give them something new everyone once in a while. The lack of reviews you receive should not be surprising if you fail to do so.
III. Love The Things You Write About
You gotta care about your subject matter. There's no getting around it. If you care about what you're writing then you'll write what you feel and you'll put more effort into it without feeling that you've put more effort into it at all. In my experience, I've found it ten times easier to write about a topic I loved than to force my way through topics that are bland to me.
So if you're writing a story and you come across an unimportant part that you just wanted to put in to fill space, don't write it. Filling space is bad. People will see right through it. If you really need to lengthen something, then expand upon what you've already written (as long as this feels natural) or delve into some material that you were saving for the next chapter. When all else fails it's better to leave a story/chapter short than to add useless stuff that you don't even like.
IV. Don't Start Something You Can't Finnish
There are three simple rules that one must follow when beginning to write a long chaptered story and they are as follows: have an ending in mind, HAVE AN ENDING IN MIND, HAVE AN ENDING IN MIND.
Do not start a story without having at least an idea of where you're going to take it. You don't need to have every little detail of your story planned out and the things you do plan out don't have to be set in stone, but it's important to have direction in your writing. You wouldn't be surprised to see the amount of stories on this site that get started, but never get finished (yes, I said wouldn't). Please, don't be one of them. Unless you truly loose interest and find yourself hating each moment spent writing a story, you should finish it. While I think it's important to finish what you start, it's more important that you have fun doing it.
V. And About Those Endings…
Endings are tough. Really tough. You'll find yourself looking back at all you've written and having no idea how to bring it all back together into one nice little box. But the problem with this is that often when it comes to endings it's better to think outside of that box.
The reader expects you to resolve every little issue that occurs throughout the story. But when things fit together perfectly they never seem real. So don't solve every problem that you brought up in a story. Some things are better left for the mind to ponder. Still, you're walking a fine line. You should wrap up the story to some degree. Otherwise it will feel incomplete and your readers will be as disappointed as a kid who's balloon got popped at the fair (not a good simile… but it's 12:40 AM… give me a break).
But when push comes to shove, it's your decision that matters. Don't let your readers bully you into supplying the catch-all "happy ending". If you want your story to end tragically, then end it tragically. Ultimately, the story should feel right to you. If your readers like it, then great. If they don't like it, then you can tell them where to go! (Meaning you should tell them to read my stories because my endings rein supreme!)