What was I doing?

Seriously, what the hell was I doing?

Other than the obvious, of course.


I knew I had my reasons, but…now…

What in heaven's name was I thinking?

How did I manage to get myself here?

What did I believe this would do or fix or help?

Again, other than the obvious…those reasons weren't helping me now.

I could still see the looks on the team's faces when they recognized me. The shock, the dismay, the anger…the betrayal.

And now here I was, strapped to a chair with that extremely annoying anti-Prior device in the room, trying to explain.

Obviously they didn't buy it.

I'm not sure I would've either.

I mean, really. Who would? Who in their right mind would trust a guy who looked like the living dead, eyes half closed, wrinkled and grey beyond his years, even if he was or used to be, a close friend? Aside the fact you knew he had spent the last few weeks practically sitting in the enemy's lap.

Truthfully, it was a hundred times worse than they knew. All they knew, or thought they did, was I had, apparently, gotten Adria to trust me completely and turn me into a freaking Prior…somehow. With Merlin's help, supposedly.

They didn't know about the kisses. They didn't know about the caressing. They didn't know.

They never would.

Another piercing, pleading gaze from Vala thrust a thousand needles into my cold, grey heart.

What the hell was I doing?

A/N: I love reviewers and live for constructive criticism!