I've lost count of how often I've contemplated a future with Donna. Since about a month after I met her, every time I thought of myself in the future, it was married with little blond children running around the old house in Connecticut. Now I'm not a woman so I'm not saying these thoughts came frequently, just every time they did that's what they were. Even before I was consciously aware of my feelings for Donna, my sub conscious never even considered a life without her. When my conscious was violently made aware that a life without her was a possibility, I was on the next plane to Landstuhl.
There used to be a big terracotta pot which sat on the deck at my parents house. When Joanie and I were small we'd play ball near it and we'd hear my mother's voice from the kitchen window 'Don't you break that pot!' I'd call back to her with the know-it-all authority of a seven year old'Ma, it's solid, it can't break!'. That's how I felt about my relationship with Donna, it was solid, it couldn't break and I said that with the know-it-all authority of a … yeah we're not going there…
Since I made the mistake of asking Sam about proposals everyone has had a opinion. I may be the only man ever to have had the words 'Josh Lyman will as Donna Moss to marry him today!' threatened as a presidential and presidential-elect proclamation! Not to mention as a direct order from the Office of the Chief of staff.
"Josh, What the hell am I doing here?"
"You're replacing Toby now shut it C.J."
"I thought I was replacing Toby"
"Alright, Sam you can be replacing Toby"
"So who am I replacing?"
"I don't want to replace Will"
"C.J. can't be Will, Josh"
"Danny, give me a break here please"
"If anyone wants to replace me, I can go home"
"At least you have a coat this time, now will you all shut it please"
"It's snowing, it's January, Why wouldn't I have a coat?"
"How the hell would I know Charlie? Can we please…?"
"He took it off to show his love for Zoë"
"You weren't even there C.J."
"I know but he told me"
"Can we please for the love of all that is holy, get back to me"
"O.K., What are we doing again?"
"You'll find out in a minute, all I'm asking is a little support from my friends, silent unquestioning support"
"And you asked us?"
"Sam! Would it be too much to ask to you know…?"
"All I'm saying is that if you wanted silent unquestioning support, your best option may not have been a former speech writer, a former press secretary, a former reporter and Charlie"
"Don't I get a title?"
"'Kay, what are we doing"
"Grab some snow, and just follow my lead"
THUD: THUD: THUD: THUD,THUD,THUD
"Josh, What the hell are you doing?"
"Get down here Donna! Now!"
"Why can't you come up, what's everyone doing here?"
"You're supposed to tell me to keep my voice down"
"Because I'm shouting"
"Tell me to keep my voice down and come down here now"
"Keep your voice down"
"Don't even think about telling me to keep my voice! Get down here!"
"You just told me to tell you to keep your voice down"
"O.K. O.K. I'm coming"
A window flies open at the other side of the street.
"Hey, now I'm telling you both -- keep your voice down"
"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you. Uh, this is a special situation. It's okay"
"You see guys now this is more like it"
"Josh, you are aware that tomorrow you will be the incoming White House Chief of Staff and being arrested wouldn't look good?"
"Guys, I think he's finally lost it"
"Leo would never have done this"
"We're not getting arrested, C.J., Charlie, I haven't lost it, I've found it and Sam, Leo was already… he just didn't need to do this ok?"
"Josh, What is going on? First you tell me I can't dress at the White House or C.J.'s or our place. You send me out with the twitchy chick from C.J.'s detail and I end up at my old apartment with my inaugural ball dress hanging on the door, are you trying to tell me something and if you are why do you turn up in a taxi with… Hi guys …"
"You came down here without a coat?"
"My crazy boyfriend was throwing snowballs at my window, what are you doing Josh?"
"You look amazing."
"You look amazing"
"Thank you. C.J. Do you know what he's doing?"
"Sorry Donna I gave up trying to work that out years ago, he just made us come with him"
"We're being cops"
"Cops Danny…what? What are you…? I'm sorry about all this, I don't know what's… Josh… what is this about?"
"We're going to a ball"
"Donna, come on play with me here… Balls are…"
"'Kay… Balls are fun"
"We're actually going to eight…well nine of them."
"Eight…well nine times the fun. Josh what is this?"
"I was actually the one who hit the window, the rest of them went to school on my throw."
"Ooooo…Kayyy…!Josh, what's going on? Did you hit your head? What's that in your hand?"
"It's a index card"
"An index card?"
"Yeah…on it there's a list of things, a 'to do' list"
"You wrote a 'to do' list"
"You taught me a lot Donna, you've been my best friend for nine years. I've been lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend. You held my life together, you held me together and I've loved you in one way or another for as long as I've known you."
"Hang on a second… You've taught me so much, you've made me happy. When I thought I'd lost you, when I thought I wouldn't make it in time I realised that I couldn't imagine my life without you"
"Hold on… I screwed it up when you came back…"
"We both did Josh"
"Donna if I'd told you I loved you, was in love with you and didn't want a life without you, if I'd been honest we never would have got as broken up as we did"
"Josh…It was my fau…"
"Let me do this will you please?"
"Look at the index card"
"What does it say?"
"It says 'To Do'"
"Get Matt Santos elected President"
"Sam did I call you?"
"Yeah, yeah you did"
"O.K. Check that one off and?"
"Take Donna to Hawaii"
"We did that, and?"
"Tell Donna I…oh Josh…"
"Tell Donna I love her, Josh that's just…"
"I did that and you said it back?"
"And you came bouncing into the shower and nearly slipped and strained your…"
"Stop right there, we did that one, check, what's next?"
"Ask Donna to move into my place?"
"Check. What else does it say?"
"You gave the lease on my apartment away!"
"Details Donna, stick to the list, what's next?"
"I can't believe you wrote a list"
"What comes next?"
Ring Mom… what?"
"Yeah 'rang' Mom… And?"
"I'm trying out the British, practicing for the next state dinner… and?"
"Call Donna's Mom & Dad. Why are you…?"
"I had a question about cheese…And?"
"Assemble bad cop posse"
"You guys there?"
"We're freezing our kn…"
"Yeah we're here"
"O.K. check, what's next?"
"Turn it over"
"Turn it over"
"What does it say?"
"It's says ask…"
"It says ask Donna to marry me"
"Yeah it does… Donnatella Moss, I love you, will you marry me?"
"Oh my…oh my…oh…oh…"
"Donna, man down on one knee in the snow would like an answer…"
"Oh Josh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes I'll marry you"
'It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance, it's the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance' Many things can be broken terracotta pots, hearts, friendships, the mending only makes them stronger.