Disclaimer - jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj oh sorry I was typing j's to the beat of the song I was just listening to. The sad part is that I really was. And that I don't own all these Potter People.
A/N- Five unfinished fics spanning two years... and a now a new one? Shame on me. Oh well. (Oh, and my mom called Dumbledore "Gandalf" today. HAHAHAA!!)
"Ron!" Hermione shrieked. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MESS EVERYTHING UP! IF YOU'RE SO JEALOUS OF ME BEING WITH DEAN, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME OUT SOMETIME DURING THE FIVE ODD YEARS WE WERE DISGUSTINGLY IMFATUATED WITH EACH OTHER!!! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I'M FIFTY, YOU KNOW! I'M SEVENTEEN AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN LAID!!!"
Ron turned red in the face, shocked and embarrassed. "Hermione..." he mumbled, "a lot of girls don't have...sex.. until they're in their twenties..."
"WELL BULLY FOR THEM!" she screamed. "AND MEANWHILE, YOU'VE SHAGGED NOT ONLY LAVENDER BROWN, BUT PADMA, PARVATI, PANSY, AND GOD KNOW WHO ELSE.. POMFREY? PERCY?"
Ron abandoned his frightened face to adopt one of disgust. "HERMIONE!" he cried. "Percy is my brother!"
"WELL HIS NAME STARTS WITH A P!!!!" she wailed. "AND YOU DON'T SEEM TOO PICKY ABOUT WHO YOU'RE SHAGGING, ONLY WHO YOU'RE NOT SHAGGING!! LIKE ME!!!"
"Well it's not like..." Ron's words were lost in random muttering.
Hermione stared at him, bug-eyed, awaiting a response. Her right eye twitched repetitively. When he only continued to mutter to himself, she made a stiffled squeak of frusturation. "Forget it!" she shouted. "You're not worth it anymore! You were never worth it! I've had it with you! No more chances! No more me running after you hoping you'll notice me while you're shoving your tongue down other girls' throats. No more! No more being insulted by your bad taste in women! No more trying to correct your ridiculous homework mistakes! No more crying at night! No more ruined meals! NO MORE!!!!" She kept screaming "no more!" over and over again as she took off out of the Gryffindor common room.
Harry clapped Ron on the back. "Real smooth, Ron," he said.
"Oh sod off!" Ron snapped, hiding his face in his hands.
"Did you know that when you guys fight, you make life for me five zillion times harder?" Harry asked. Ron only made strangled noises into his hands. Harry shook his head and went off to bed.
When Ron was sure Harry was far, far away, he took his hands off his face. He looked fairly miserable. And by "fairly" I mostly mean "incredibly, horrifically, dreadfully, pathetically, mordibly, obesely, ad infinetum". He slowly picked up his Herbology book and some parchment. Everyone was off sleeping, dreaming of beautiful things, while Ron had to begin an essay that he should have done a week ago. He had no idea what to write and the only one who might have helped him was probably still screaming "NO MORE!" as she ran through random corridors. Well, Harry might have helped... if Harry knew the material. He had copied from Dean, and Ron's self-righteousness would not allow him to accept any assistance from Dean, no matter how indirect.
Ron sighed and dipped his quill in the ink bottle. He then put then point of the quill to the paper and... ... ... nothing. "Think, think!" he thought to himself. Nothing. "Just start writing!" he told himself. Nothing. "Write something!"
His quill began to scratch against the parchment. "Herbology is a subject that Hermione Granger is very good at," he wrote.
Ron read the one sentence on his parchment, looking confused. After a few moments of staring, he continued, "She is so good at it that Professor Sprout insists that she tutor his worst student, Ronald Weasley."
A smile bloomed across Ron's face. He furrowed his brow in concentration. "'Professor!' the brown-haired, hot girl protested. 'Wouldn't Neville be a better choice?'
'Yes, but Neville already has fifty students he is tutoring,' Sprout said.
'Oh no! This will be really awkward!' Hermione cried.
'Sorry, you and Ronald will have to work out your problems now because you have to tutor him,' Sprout said.
Hermione left the classroom, thinking about how hard it would be to tutor Ron without being distracted by his attractiveness. He had such a great body and also very dazzling blue eyes."
Ron stopped, looking exceedingly pleased as he reread his work a few times over. Forget his Herbology assignment! This was way more fun! Besides, maybe he'd be able to copy Lavender's tomorrow at lunch. She still wanted him back. Desperately. It was quite sad, really.
Feeling quite tired, Ron packed up and headed off to bed. He fell asleep thinking about how his and Hermione's tutoring session would turn out.
End Note: This chapter is short to see how interested everyone is. If you like it, I'd be more than glad to continue. I have loads of ideas. So many that I might continue even if you don't like it.