Nostalgic Evenings

At that time she was accompanying me.

Our evenings were always thrilling and exciting. She introduced me with love. We both saw the world with optimistic look as we were together. Sceneries seemed beautiful and the gentle breeze teased us and a passer- by. The blue sky looked wide and gave us the feeling of free and fresh. It was really amazing.

After nine years in Mandalay, she had to move to Yangon with her family, where she lived happily ever after.

One thing that always true is she is a main part of my heart. I have sworn I will never substitute her place.

Actually she was the most adorable I'd ever met but sometimes both she and me began stir- crazy. But it was very rare case. No one is perfect. Hum! In fact, she made my life happy. Everything around me looked excellent because she was near me.

I possess jet black hair. So does her. I'm the tall and thin one compared to others like my age, my nationality. But she is a little bit short and fat. She always wears heartily sweet smiles. In my eyes she is always smart, beautiful, sharp and intelligent. She is active and she can do the response so fast. I like this feature so much but sometimes I have to control her quick movement and decision.

When people happened to see her they always made comments on her.

Some said, "Oh so cute". Some uttered,"Oh have a look at her, so nice and wonderful".

Don't think me I was jealous of her. Really! I was proud of her.

Why? The fact was I loved her so much.

Sometimes she tried to imitate me .In fact it might be hateful someone was tracing, copying all my behaviors and style. But I did particularly like so much that she was doing this. That was our relation. How much fun!

While she was near me, I also had sweet smiles for her .She gave her endless love to me.I firmily believed that. No doubt. I felt myself so lucky that I possessed her, especially I possessed her affection. I was becoming gentle and gentle concerned with her. Depending on her tenderness to me I could possess this gentle mood and I had ability to share this kind action to my family. That was why we were so happy.

There are more and more things I like to tell about her. She always behaves like a decent lady. She seems so gentle, so nice. That is her real nature. She doesn't like rude behaviors, hard words and hard manners. She loves freedom. I love freedom. To feel this sense we usually get out of the apartment together every evening. She is very fond of feeling free. She loves to have a stroll at any time, even the sun is shining brightly. But I don't wanna suffer the bright sunlight. So I have to negotiate with her, I have to ask her just have a stroll only in the evenings. She agreed although she didn't want to.

I feel so sorry for that. I can't fulfill all her desire at that time. Nevertheless we both possess wonderful evenings.

When we were walking, I just followed her wherever she wanted to go. One day we both saw the guy .It was unexpected fate that he would become the very special person for me. He was the tall, handsome young man who can catch my eye. So did her. And I noticed that pleasant moment immediately. I told her softly with amusement that

"Hey! He looks so nice. He is mine".

She looked at me with smile and I can read her facial expression that she wanted to say me "Oh I agree."

"Hey, He caught my eye also. He is mine too. It's so strange we've never say like that before." She replied.

I replied with cheerfully "Yeah, He is the first one come to my attention." "He is my guy, dear." "Would you please let him to walk in front of our apartment. And make sure that you don't make any sound to him. Promise me Please, dear."

"Yep" She agreed.

"Oh you are so cute". "You are so kind". And I hugged her tightly to my chest. And I asked her

"One more secret, do you know when I saw him the very first time."

"No, I won't." "Tell me, when you noticed him for the very first time."

" I'd like to know how he catches your eye." She replied and smiled.

"Oh, that's special secret."

"What I can tell you is accidentally I saw him, really accident. But It was so remarkable in my mind. I still remember this and I think it is strange feeling. It's so strange. "

"That is."

This was a nice secret between her and me. The next day I bought some chocolate ice-cream and a cake to home. That was a bribe she liked most .It was a celebration for our top secret relation between she, me and the young man.

From that day forward, we had enjoyed so many beautiful evenings. We possessed very great evenings. She led me to see him and the evenings became beautiful. Later, whenever I thought it over, these evenings were the moment of truth. She gave me chance to see him so many times and I tried to read his face; his style, even his mind. But What I did is just follow where she went. That is.

I had comments concerned with the young man based on evidence what I had seen. He lives free and he possess open-hearted .He seems honest and self determined. And his life seems so happy and content. I like these features so much. But when he gets angry he behaves like a storm. I have heard about his rage and strong stormy action. Sometimes he wants to solve problems by fist-fight.

A very popular festival was becoming near and near. We guessed he was going to take part and seemed very happier than usual. At one midnight, we heard crashing. We heard his shout and we knew he put up a fight. We were peeping through the curtains of the door to outside. Nothing we can see. It was dark and far from our view.

At that time; I happened to whish for him

"just relax!"

"have peace in mind"

"No harm to him"

That is what I can do for him. And I felt worries for him. The next day we saw him with bandaged arm. She is also watching through the iron bar of the door as she is so short. And she listened what I said. I asked my mom

"What happened to his arm.? I have never seen this kind of bandage pattern."

"Me too. If it is broken arm it should bend at elbow."

I said "may be the whole hand broken, he gave a loud shout. Oh it's right arm." Then we smiled. But we were really pitied that he had no chance to go round the city during festival. And the weather is too hot.

She and me saw him nearly every evening. I talked to her "Its so boring for him."

"Yeah, Sure" And she had a glance to him.

"He looks so cute." I said.

"He, with this wounded arm? If you say so, he wanna kill you." She replied.

I want to see him carefree and happy. I found something in my mind. At present, I don't want to admit what it is inside. But I have to know this feeling very well.

We had never deal with him. But we could here him; we could saw him from very far distance. Sometimes she and me had chance to listen his songs. We thought it was a good luck and we had enjoyed it silently, No one noticed.

One of her great habit is that she loves to see singing songs; she loves to see playing guitar. She loves to sit in front of the house to listen to what ever the songs will be. She possesses this behavior when she was so young .Because her beloved sister and brother are very fond of singing and playing guitar. When they have free time they played and sang and did recording. She also took part in this activity. She likes to here her sound from the cassette. When they practice chords and beats she always sits near them and listens. She appreciates the lovely songs.

One of her strong desire was that she wanted to take part in playing football. She used to play football in the campus with her brother before she moved to Yangon. She was so happy and very boastful for this play. She loved to see playing football. And she wants to play as if she were a goal keeper. If she saw the football her actions and behaviors suddenly changed as a very young guy. It was so difficult to control her.

I asked myself

"Do we have enough days to be going on with?"

She began to suffer cancer .And it caused me heartache. I started to cry quietly at night.

I can't let her go.

The time was very near and near, she was becoming weaker and weaker. But she had never shown this weakness. She stood herself as much as she could. I found her heart, her pride like "Lions never eat grass". She would never depend and fall down until she began to meet death.

First week night of May 2006, her sufferings became very serious unexpectedly. How much I held her tight, she left me heartbroken. On that sorrowful night he and some guys were singing the songs all night long. I cried. I listened. I sat beside her. She looked like sleeping beauty. This was the last moment of the three, the relation between me, her and this young man. I said to him in my mind so silently that

"Thank you"

"Thank you so much"

"I'll appreciate this as much as I live."

"If I have one moment of my own time outside traditional environment, I'd like to run into you, I'd like to cry inside your arms. I'd like to tell you she has gone."

I had to admit that my mind was awfully depending on him.

She has gone. I have to continue the difficult days but absence makes the heart grow fonder.