Just as his lover accidentally had gotten a kid with Sarah, and was forced to marry her, Gibbs had fallen in love with Shannon. Both men didn't consider themselves as 'cheater', it was society that had forced them into this straight jacket of being straight and they weren't entirely happy with it but they loved their wives.

Every now and then, they'd spent a weekend together, in their wives' eyes as friends, but they weren't friends, they were much more than that. Junkies. Even though Gibbs was an NIS agent now, he couldn't see Jack as often as he'd like to and practically begged Jack every week to kill someone.

And right now, Gibbs needed Jack more than ever.


Gibbs had lost Shannon and his daughter Kelly in a car accident right before Christmas and he had drowned himself in cheap bourbon and his work ever since then. He was drunk with Christmas, semi-drunk and absent minded at the funeral, and he was in the hospital with Ducky to have his stomach pumped out on new years eve. Ducky was his long time friend and he had found Gibbs on the floor out cold in the midst of empty alcohol bottles and empty bottles of all sorts of pills. He had hated Ducky for doing that, and he still did, but Ducky used Jack as an excuse to make Gibbs feel guilty.
As soon as Gibbs was released from the hospital, Ducky called Jack for a weekend at Gibbs' house. Gibbs thought it was a very bad idea, as there were too many memories in that house and he didn't want to clean up his own mess. Ducky stayed for a few days, cleaning the house, getting rid of the smell and locking Kelly's bedroom door so Gibbs wouldn't have to see it every time he walked up the stairs. On the day Jack would arrive, Ducky even made them a gourmet dinner.

"Duck, do you really have to go?" Gibbs pleaded.

"Yes, I'm not staying. Jack is coming in 30 minutes."

"I don't want to be alone."

"Get a grip, Gunny." Ducky spoke sternly and tapped him on the shoulder. "Jack will heal your wounds."

"Can't you just wait until Jack is here?"

"No, I promised Mother to take her to her bridge club. Go take a shower, Jethro, shave yourself and wait for him."

"Yes Duck…" Gibbs sighed and saw Ducky out of the door. He absolutely adored his older friend, he was always there for him when he needed him and couldn't stay angry with him for a long time. He was also the only one who knew that Gibbs had interest in women AND men. And Ducky was okay with it, he knew all too well that in a men's world, you have to love women. Gibbs had saved Ducky once, when young marines had seen Ducky kissing another man in the park and had attacked him the next day, Gibbs saw that, saved Ducky and made life hell for months for those marines.

Gibbs' feet felt like lead when he walked up the stairs towards the shower. Ducky had tactically shut the door to Kelly's bedroom and Gibbs was now totally grateful of that. Gibbs smiled faintly. It hurt. His little girl would never run down the stairs, right into his arms again. Her smile would never light up his life anymore.

He found his way to the bathroom, undressed himself and stepped under the shower. He needed a drink, but Ducky told him that he wasn't allowed to drink when he was alone, so he had to wait for Jack's arrival.

He fixed himself up, shaved and got dressed. He went to the kitchen to make some coffee and looked at the clock. Only 10 minutes to go… Gibbs thought and walked to his record player. It was too quiet in the house, and it already made him go crazy.

He didn't know why Ducky invited Jack anyway. It was not like that Jack could stay with him after the weekend. Jack still had a family to return to. Jack wasn't cheating on him, but full filling his duty in his "straight jacket". Just like Gibbs had done. He'd send him "home" on Sunday.

Ducky had been with him ever since he left the hospital, and he was grateful of that. But now these 10 minutes seemed to last forever. The coffee pot was slow and the Beatles didn't sound so hot either, the song "Help!" sounded great, but it was in slow motion. Gibbs didn't want to bother to adjust the speed and poured his coffee in while the pot was still running. Shannon would have been angry with him, because he always managed to spill coffee on the floor and didn't clean it up. It had been a month ago, but it felt like he had only lost her for 2 minutes.

"Hey stranger." Gibbs heard a bag drop to the floor in the hallway. "Sorry I missed the funeral."

"I needed you there." Gibbs said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Ducky said…"

"I don't care, Jack." Gibbs shot at him. "He thinks he can change my mind by bringing you here."

"Well, I can leave."

"I don't want you to."

"Then I'm all yours." Jack walked towards him and took the cup of coffee out of his hands before setting it down on the counter. "I'm sorry, Jethro." Jack said and stroked Gibbs' hair. "Just don't…"

"Do what I did." Gibbs nodded. "I'm sorry… it just hurts so much, Jack." Gibbs rarely opened up to people about his feelings, but he knew he could towards Jack. His thoughts were interrupted by a hard, but loving kiss of Jack on his mouth. It almost pushed him on top of the kitchen counter and it was just one of those kisses that mattered to him. He needed it, bad, right now.

"Where?" Jack muttered under his breath, as he got rid of Gibbs' shirt, nuzzling his neck.

"Eh.." Gibbs was speechless. His mind had gone blank, just Jack touching him made him feel like he was in heaven. "Dunno." He got rid of Jack's coat and opened the buttons of his shirt.

The kitchen floor was hard, it was cold and extremely uncomfortable but both men couldn't wait. Gibbs needed to drown in something other than alcohol and wanted to feel the pain and the love by playing it hard. Jack, knew exactly what Gibbs needed and played it hard too. Both men were panting as they both orgasmed at the same time and it took a while for them to recover.

As some sort of reflex, Jack looked for Gibbs' trousers and found the pack of cigarettes in his back pocket. "Bad habit, lover." He said while he lit one up, still laying on the floor. He passed the cigarettes to Gibbs and he as well lit one up.

"It's just so damn hard to quit."

"And you're just so damn irresistible." Jack pointed out. "Even though when you're depressed."

"Hm.." Gibbs still laid on the kitchen floor too. It was warming up and he knew for certain that he was laying in his own coffee that he had spilled earlier. "Dinner or shower first?"

"Cigarette first. We'll see about dinner."

"But Ducky cooked. Not me."

"Oh. Dinner after cigarette then." Jack grinned.

While having Ducky's gorgeous dinner, sitting on the stools of the dining table in their birthday suit, they talked. Jack talked about his work, about Sarah and about Charlie. He said that Charlie was becoming a handful and that it was harder and harder to get a grip on the young boy. Charlie had somehow managed to sneak into Jack's car and got it off the emergency brake and the car, with Charlie in it, rolled off the driveway, nearly hitting a passing car.

Gibbs, in his turn, reluctantly talked about how 2 colleagues of him approached his desk with grim looks on their faces. At first, he thought it was because they were scared of him, but when the reality hit him, he couldn't breathe. He thought someone was suffocating him, and he confessed to Jack that he never thought he'd feel that way towards Shannon and Kelly, mostly because he thought he loved Jack more. He also felt guilty because he had had a fight with Shannon before he headed to work and had told her that he wouldn't go along celebrating Christmas with her family. He yelled he'd rather stay home and work on his boat.

Gibbs told Jack why he was drinking so much, why he tried to commit suicide, and much to Gibbs' surprise, Jack understood. Jack told him he'd have reacted the same way, and he told him that Gibbs was lucky to have a good friend like Ducky. Gibbs could only nod, but in the back of his head he knew that his life would never be okay again. He actually dreaded to go back to work on Monday. He didn't want to see those "I'm-sorry-faces", he didn't need anyone's sympathy, he just wanted Jack. But Jack couldn't stay.

Jack took him to the shower after dinner to clean themselves up. Gibbs wasn't that surprised when Jack came on to him again, probably trying to tire Gibbs so he would sleep quietly. Jack teased him. Not only with taking up most of the water, but also with his lips and his hands. It seemed like they were everywhere, and before Gibbs knew it, Jack was sucking his stone hard member and he came into his mouth. "You know I don't like it this way Jack." Gibbs said hoarsely.

"I know. But I do." Jack grinned. "Let's go to bed, I'll behave."

"No you won't."

"So, how do you call this?" Gibbs yawned. It was 7 am and both men were finally tired enough to fall asleep.

"Sex therapy." Jack snuggled up against his lover. "By making love to you and making your brains fry I hope to successfully make you happy."

"I am happy now."

"I'm thinking… long term."

"But you're leaving tomorrow."

"Ah, but that's tomorrow, right now, it's only 7 am on Saturday."

"I don't think I can take much more, Jack." Gibbs complained and closed his eyes. He knew he couldn't. He would just fall over and sleep. He was comfortable the way he was now, but he knew that if Jack stopped talking, he'd be gone in a minute. He also thought that Jack was really trying to cheer him up, but that it only worked for the moment. Not "long term" as Jack said. Gibbs knew that by Monday, he'd be still euphoric because of the weekend, but he'd be depressed as soon as the realisation would hit him that Jack had gone home.

"Sleep." Jack softly caressed his lover's back and kissed him gently on his lips. "You'll feel better when you wake up again."

On Sunday, both men didn't say anything when Jack left. They kissed, and Gibbs closed the door behind Jack before heading to the basement to work on his boat. He did feel great, he felt euphoric, as expected, but knew it wouldn't last long. He decided to work on his boat and forget about the world around him to make the scent of Jack hang around longer in his house.

He fell asleep on top of his boat, as usual and got up early to go to work. Everything still felt normal to him. It was just like Shannon and Kelly had left earlier, and left the dishes for him to do. He scratched himself behind the ear for a second and realised that Jack left him once again with all the dishes. Instead of bothering with doing them, he opened the dust bin and threw all dishes in it.

Then he remembered the promise he made to Ducky a few months ago. He'd try to see if his best friend could work at NIS because it was more fun, better paid and better people than his current job as an ME. Gibbs was sure to go to see the Director about this.

He knew that this good feeling was only going to last a few days and he was going to make the most of it. He cleaned his house, got a house broker to sell his house somewhere in the future and split the money between Jack and Ducky. He re-wrote his will, as Shannon and Kelly couldn't be his beneficiaries anymore. He packed all his belongings into boxes, carefully writing names on them of his best friends. He took the rest of the week off to do so and have fun. He was going to take Ducky and his mother out to dinner, he was going to take Ducky to a ballet performance as the older Brit liked those performances and he was acting like everything was going fine.

But on the inside, Shannon and Kelly's death was eating him alive. The more he thought about them, the more his old trauma's came back to hunt him as well. Desert Storm had been one of them. He had killed a lot of people, he had seen his buddies being shot down. He had been lost in the battlefield and he had nearly died. He should have died. Ducky should have let him die when he found him on new years eve. He needed to be with Shannon and Kelly and nothing was going to stop him.


Dr. Mallard's first day at NIS was terrible. He was grateful of his friend Jethro that he arranged this job for him. It was certainly better equipped and the people he worked with were certainly better and more honest people than he had ever worked with since he came to America. And the body on his slab wasn't just "any body".

It was Leroy Jethro Gibbs, clutched with a note in his hand.

Congratulations on your new job, Ducky.

I'm sorry.

AMF, Jethro.

Ducky couldn't help but cry for a long time, as he saw the gunshot wound on Jethro's head being the saviour and the end of his friend.