Story Summary: He hated her for a year, teased her, turned on her and everyone followed and now, she was the only place he could go. LoVe.
Spoilers: Up to 'Ruskie Business' just to be safe.
Authors Note: please leave feedback.
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars. Also, there's a line from Firefly "You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, and yet you keep calling me one to my face." That Inara says and also "Drunks are so cute" that Mal says and I kind of modify in this fic!
Conversation & coherent thought
It was around midnight when Veronica finally got home. It was Friday, school sucked, she had gone to the Mars Investigations office to do something that should have taken 20 minutes and had actually taken 4 hours, and somewhere in between she managed to get a money shot of a sleazy (soon to be ex) boyfriend cheating on his 09er (soon to be ex) girlfriend.
She walked into the empty apartment (Keith should be a couple of hours from the boarder by now – bail jumpers are so cute) and dropped her bag on the floor in her room.
Veronica got a quick shower, not wanting to temp the hot water fates by lingering. She walked out of the bathroom in long flannel PJ pants and a black spaghetti strap shirt. As she walked into her room Back-Up trotted to her side. She smiled and reached down to scratch his head. She walked over to her bed and laid down, Back-Up licked her hand, wanting to play, and she pulled her hand under the blanket, "Not now, I'm sleepy" Veronica mumbled.
Two hours and 37 minutes after she had fallen asleep a light knock on the door woke Veronica up. It was quiet, Veronica almost didn't hear it, it almost didn't wake her up, but she had always been a light sleeper.
Veronica sighed and sat up. She looked over at her clock – 3:47am you've got to be kidding she thought to herself. She looked over at Back-Up who had sat up at the sound and she had to smile when he gave her an 'I didn't do it' look. Veronica stood up and walked out of her room, she covered her mouth when a huge yawn came out and pulled the blinds on her door apart to look out side.
When she looked out she saw Logan, his hands buried deep in his pockets, his head hung down, looking like he was barley supporting his own weight. She hesitated for half a second before opening the door. Logan looked…sad.
At the sound of the door opening Logan's previously downcast eyes drifted up and his hands moved from his pockets to wrap his arms around himself. Logan's eyes were red, like he had been crying, "Logan…" Veronica started but he cut her off.
"I had no where else to go" The sentence was simple and straight to the point. His voice was low and scratchy.
"Here…come in…" Veronica said her voice barley above a whisper. She took a few steeps back from the door and opened it a little wider so he could walk it. He came in and she shut the door behind him. He kept his arms wrapped around himself and despite the warm California air and even warmer inside of the Mars' family apartment he left his jacket on.
She reached her arm out to take his hand but he flinched away from her touch and she pulled her hand back quickly, hurt flushed across her face for a brief moment before she simply pointed to the couch. She crossed in front of him when he didn't move and sat on the couch. After a long moment he walked over and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
"Logan…" She started for the second time that night but realized that she had no idea where she was going, what she wanted to say to him.
It was silent for a long moment, both Logan and Veronica watching Logan's sleeve covered hands fidget. Finally Logan glanced over at Veronica then looked back down at his hands before speaking, "Trina came home today, told my dad about the hotel, he…" It was Logan's turn to trail off; he glanced up at Veronica again before looking back at his hands.
Veronica looked over at him, her eyes full of concern. She wanted to ask him to continue but Trina's words echoed in her ear, broken noses and cigarette burns and she was scared of what she might hear.
Tense silence hung over the room for too long and it was Logan who broke it again, his eyes didn't rise when he spoke, "My dad," he spit out the words, "put it together that I was looking for my mom. He was…not happy"
It was all most like time stood still in the room. Neither knowing what to say or do. Veronica sat perfectly still until she saw a tear fall from Logan's face and land on the sleeve of his green shirt, making that spot a shade darker. Veronica slowly, cautiously, moved closer to him. She hesitated a moment before lightly placing her hand on his cheek.
After a long moment he finally looked up at her and what she saw broke her heart. Tears filled his red-rimmed eyes and for the first time Veronica could remember since before or after Lilly's death Logan looked scared and sad and defeated.
"What'd he do to you, Logan?" The words were out of her mouth before she could think about them, before she could stop them.
Logan didn't answer, just shook his head slowly while Veronica's thumb traced small invisible circles with the hand she had resting on his cheek.
"You have to tell someone, Logan, you can't just let him do this" Veronica said but Logan just shook his head again, this time with more force, enough to make Veronica pull her hand back.
"I don't…I don't want to talk about this" Logan said so quietly that Veronica had to strain to hear him.
"You came here Logan…you came to me." Veronica reminded him.
"I didn't have anywhere else to go, 'Ronica." He whispered as if he was ashamed to say it. He hated her for a year, teased her, turned on her and everyone followed and now, she was the only place he could go.
"I know" She whispered and looked down at the floor before taking a deep breath and looking back up at him, "But you can't just…" Veronica trailed off when she saw the look on his face, knowing that she wasn't going to get anywhere with this, at least not tonight. Veronica looked down again and squeezed her eyes shut before looking back up at him, "Was it…I mean…are you okay?" she finally asked, her voice full of concern.
Logan didn't answer but he looked up at her and the broken look his eyes held made her want to cry.
Veronica slowly stood up and took a step back from where she had been. She leaned down and took Logan's hand, pulling it gently. Confusion flashed over his features before he stood to join her.
Veronica moved to stand it front of him, her hands moving to rest one on each of his shoulders. Logan knew in an instant what she was doing. "Don't." Logan choked out, it was half hearted at best because he honestly couldn't decide if he wanted her to do this or not.
Veronica didn't answer, she slid her hands under his jacket on his shoulders then slid her small hands down his arms, the jacket fell to the floor and Logan's hands reached out and grabbed hers, holding them lightly, "Veronica, don't" He said not really knowing what he meant. Don't do this? Don't stop? Don't look? Don't pity me? Don't judge me? He didn't know.
Veronica closed her eyes against the pleading undertone his voice took on. She slowly raised her head and opened her eyes to meet his. She lightly slid her hands back up his arms and back to his shoulders. She let them rest there a moment before moving her hands to the top button of his shirt. She paused there, and waited a long moment, giving him time to stop her if he wanted. He didn't, and she undid the buttons of his shirt slowly, holding eye contact with him. After she undid all the buttons she slid his shirt off and it fell quietly on top of his jacket. She held eye contact with Logan, silently asking permission to look under his white undershirt.
Logan closed his eyes for a brief moment; "You are such a snoop" he mumbled and slowly turned around so his back was to Veronica.
As soon as he turned around Veronica saw small red splotches on his shirt where fresh blood had clearly stained through his undershirt. Logan pulled the undershirt over his head and winced when it ran over fresh wounds. He let it fall next to his jacket and shirt.
Veronica gasped before she could stop herself. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth. His back was covered in scars. Long, thin ones that had to be from belts, some accompanied by small squares or circles that had to be from the belt's buckle. Several various sized circular burns from cigarettes and cigars. And several other scars Veronica couldn't tell the origin of and wasn't sure she wanted to "'Ronica…" Logan whispered, unasked questions lacing his voice.
There were more than a few fresh marks on his back and Veronica squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before Logan's voice pulled her back to reality, "…Veronica…how bad…?" Logan stated but she cut him off.
"Shhh…" She whispered in a way she hoped was soothing. She placed a small, soft kiss on his shoulder and could hear his confusion in the way he exhaled. She placed a few more soft kisses on his shoulders and by the base of his neck, careful to avoid fresh cuts. She couldn't explain to her self what she was doing or why so she hoped an explanation wasn't asked for.
She moved so that she was in front of Logan and gently pulled his hand into hers. She pulled it lightly and he followed her to her room, "Here, take your shoes off," She said and dropped his hand, he did and she smiled softly when he looked over at her. "Okay, um, lay down." She said pulling the blankets down to the foot of her bed.
Logan slowly moved to the bed and sat on it for a brief moment before lying down on his stomach. Veronica disappeared into the bathroom and came back with the things needed to clean out Logan's more recent wounds. She sat down on the bed and placed the items she'd retrieved from the bathroom on the nearby night stand.
Veronica cleaned out Logan's newer wounds and knew they would soon become scars. She heard his sharp intake of breath and slipped her free hand into one of his as she continued. When ever she heard or saw or felt some sign of pain from his breathing or eyes or the hands they had clinging together she would pause and run a hand through his hair or trace small circles on his back with her thumb, anything to give them both a moment to rest, to catch their breath.
When she was done she placed everything back on the night stand and smiled softly at Logan. She pulled the blankets that were bunched at the foot of the bed up to Logan's waist (not wanting to move it farther and risk aggravating the new wounds) and moved to stand. She felt Logan's hand gently close around her wrist and knew it was his silent plea, for her to stay with him. She thought for a moment before silently lying down on her back and slipping her legs under the blanket.
It didn't take long for Logan to fall asleep, the events of his too long day catching up with him. Veronica was staring at the ceiling, thinking. Here she was, helping the guy that helped make her life hell for the past year. But she could remember when she and Logan were friends – real friends – talk on the phone; hang out on the weekends kind of real friends.
Not so long ago Logan would have laid a gut out for implying she was a whore, but less than a week ago he was calling her one to her face.
Veronica felt tears fall from her eyes and hit her pillow by her ear. She sighed softly before squeezing her eyes shut and forcing the thoughts from her head. It didn't take much longer for her too long day to catch up with her as well.
Logan woke up a few hours later. He was lying on his stomach, still, but now his arm was draped across Veronica's waist and she was lying on her side, facing him, still asleep.
Logan slowly, not wanting to wake her, moved his hand to rest gently on Veronica's cheek. He saw the fading tear tracks and slowly traced one with his finger. "I'm so sorry, Veronica" He whispered. He ran his hand through her hair before pulling it back to himself and accidentally falling back asleep.
A couple hours later Veronica woke up. She was facing Logan who was now lying on his side, facing her as well. Both his arms were wrapped around her, one under and one over her waist, meeting with his fingers splayed across her back and she thought absently that his arm was going to hurt when he woke up but she didn't know how to move it without waking him.
Her forehead was leaning against his strong chest and one arm was bent, her hand under her head. The other arm was hooked under Logan's, her hand holding the back of his shoulder. She blinked several times and she traded her sleep world for reality as everything from the pervious night came flooding back to her.
Logan was still asleep and Veronica didn't want to wake him. She carefully pulled her arm out from under his and rested it on his shoulder. She slowly moved her fingers to one of Logan's older looking scars and traced it lightly. She couldn't believe that she had never noticed. They had known each other for 6 years and Veronica never noticed. She wondered who did know as her fingers found a new old scar to trace.
Logan woke up tangled in Veronica Mars and he had to smile at the thought. He felt her small fingers running over one of his scars carefully, deliberately. He unconsciously tightened his arms around her, suddenly somewhat uncomfortable, he'd never willingly let anyone see his scars before.
When she felt his arms tighten around her she smiled slightly and her fingers found a new scar to trace and she realized how many there were. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder and sighed softly.
"'Ronica…" Logan whispered and she jumped slightly and pulled back to look at him,
realizing for the first time that he was awake. "Morning" He whispered.
She smiled and they both started to sit up, "Morning" she whispered back. Veronica tried to look at the clock, but couldn't see it from where she was. She leaned across Logan to move it so she could see and when she did her hand hit the bed uneven and her arm gave out. Logan reached out to steady her on instinct and they froze. She moved to sit next to him, looking at him and he ran his hand from her arm to her cheek, through her hair. They were frozen in the moment, unable to look away and neither wanting too.
Veronica's phone rang and she laughed nervously before moving to grab it from the night stand. It was a short conversation, the one her and her father had every morning he was away.
Logan leaned his head back against the wall as she finished her conversation and placed the phone back where it was.
They were on opposite sides of the bed now, looking every where but at each other. Compared to how close they had been before the tiny amount of space separating them now felt like miles.
"Are you okay?" Veronica finally asked, referencing his back, after too much time had passed.
"Always" was Logan's immediate answer. It was snapped out and sounded rehearsed and Veronica didn't realize it was what he always said to Lynn when she was sober enough to check up on him after Aaron had been 'in a mood' as Lynn put it.
Veronica nodded slowly, silently and Logan realized that he'd snapped at her and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Sorry…sorry. I'm okay"
Veronica gave a small half smile and nodded. She slowly moved off the bed and stood up. She motioned for Logan to follow her and she walked out of her room and into the kitchen.
Logan walked into the small living room and picked his shirt from the floor. He put it on and buttoned it, forgoing his undershirt. When he turned around to face the kitchen area there were two bowls, side by side with glasses next to them on the counter. There was a picture of orange juice, and a gallon of milk, and a box of rice krispies treats, sitting in the middle of the counter. Veronica turned around to face him with two spoons in her hand and smiled softly.
Logan smiled and walked over to the counter. He sat on a stool next to Veronica and they both poured their cereal and milks and juices eating in a comfortable silence.
When they were done eating and Veronica had deposited the dirty dishes in the sink they exchanged a look. Veronica knew Logan wasn't ready to head home and honestly, Veronica wasn't ready for him to leave yet either.
"You want to watch a movie?" Veronica asked gesturing to the television.
"Sure…you pick" Logan answered.
Veronica smiled and walked over to the movie collection on the floor. Logan sat on the couch and watched her.
She picked and discarded several movies before settling on The Big Lebowski. She picked the movie up and showed the cover to Logan, silently asking if it was okay and he smiled and nodded.
"Do you watch any other movies?" Logan asked in a playful tone and she laughed. She put the movie in and moved to the couch.
Their fingers brushed accidentally and Veronica froze for a moment. It was stupid - she knew that; they'd slept in the same bed all night and a half second of physical contact throws her? But she can't help it, and the contact reminds her of moments on this couch just last night and suddenly Veronica's brain is back on the topic of how Logan's dad beats him and she can't get herself to focus on anything else.
"Logan…" She starts, but he all ready knows what she's thinking. He could tell the moment her focus shifted to that topic.
Logan just shook his head. The movie starts up in the back ground but neither of them really notices it. "Logan, you have to…" but his lips on hers cut off any chance of conversation, or coherent thought for that matter.
Okay, so right now its a one shot but I've gotten a lot of really great feedback so I'm thinking of continuing.
please leave feedback!