She threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the JAG lot with fierce intent to get as far away from the building as possible.
Earlier that day…
"Your honor if I could just be given a little leeway I believe my intent will be made clear."
"Sorry Colonel objection stands. Keep your questions to the admissible evidence."
"No further questions your honor," Mac said returning to her chair "but I reserve the right to recall this witness."
Mac sat with a sigh, How am I going to make this case fly? The pounding of the gavel broke up Mac's thoughts.
is adjourned until 0930"
The jurors stood up and were removed from the courtroom followed by Judge Holland. The gallery began to empty out. Harm turned to his client whispering in his ear as the MP took him back to his cell. He remained standing while he filled his briefcase back up with folders and documents. He looked to his right and saw Mac leaning forward in her chair, head in hands. I wonder what's eating at her, it isn't the first time a judge has overruled something like that. He walked the two steps to her side, she didn't' look up, she was so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't even realized that he was so close to her. He reached out a hand and brushed her hair to the side, sticking it behind her ear. Startled she looked up at him, eyes filled with conflicted thoughts.
"No, not just yet. I think I will sit her for a bit."
"You want me to stay with you?"
"Nah, that's alright Harm…Need to start reorganizing a new strategy for the case since the judge obviously wasn't onboard," she chuckled, "no big deal just need to search the library for a rabbit…"
"Well stay clear of any bullets that you might find along the way," he added with a finger pointing to the ceiling.
The memory of him shooting the ceiling that day brought a small smile to her face. He loved her smile—loved being a reason for her life brightening smile.
"Well then I'll leave you to it then," as he made his way to the door.
"Thanks Harm…." She turned away falling back into the soft leather chair.
Harm walked out of the courtroom leaving Mac to her thoughts. He knew that more than just the case was eating at her but figured it was best to stay out of it for the time being.
"Uh…yes Tiner what is it?"
Tiner must have been waiting for the court to recess he seems to have a rather nervous look on his face, whatever it is must be urgent.
"The Admiral would like to see you in his office ASAP."
"What's it regarding?"
"I'm not sure sir, but the Admiral seems deeply concerned."
"Reporting as ordered sir."
"At ease Commander. Go ahead and take a seat."
Tiner shut the door leaving the two officers privacy.
Mac sat in the brown leather chair for several minutes staring out into the empty courtroom trying to decide whether she should get up and get a move on. She glanced down at her watch, 1536. The sunlight caught the ring on her finger. Both hands now held the weight of a lifetime. On her right lay her Marine Corp ring—gold surrounding a small ruby. On her left a small diamond solitaire set in platinum. Strange how an engagement ring represents two yet it's a solitaire.
It had only been a few weeks since she had moved the ring, Brumby had given her, to her other hand. She began tediously spinning it in circles on her finger. The wedding was quickly approaching, only 3 more weeks. She and Harriet had efficiently completed 90 of the important details. God I hope the dress will still fit in 3 weeks. She was 6 days late, so she took a pregnancy test that morning—it came back positive. She hadn't told anyone about it yet. Thankfully Harriet hasn't sensed anything yet, that woman is a walking radar. On one hand she was happy about the news, she wasn't too old, she could still have kids. However, it had dawned on her that perhaps having a baby with Mic wasn't what she really wanted. Mic would probably be an alright father…but…She didn't have that feeling of confidence and security about the notion. For a moment she sat back and reflected on the night of the engagement party that took place a few weeks prior. She really thought something more would have come from that conversation out on the porch. Is it sad to be going into this marriage knowing ahead of time that I am just settling for something? I wanted to have a family and a husband and Mic was there. God I am such a fucking idiot! But it's too late now. I'm pregnant, I can't do that to my baby, I'll just have to learn to love him as much as my heart will allow…I am a Marine after all, if we can storm the beaches of Normandy I am sure that I can get through this…Mac finally pulled herself up from her chair and began to fill her briefcase. She walked towards the window in the corner of the room; the light at this time of day was so warm.
Harm stood up and made his way towards the Admiral's door.
"Best of luck Harm, we'll see you in a few weeks."
With that Harm closed the door behind him and let out a huge sigh.
"Everything alright Commander?"
"We'll see Tiner…we'll see…"
Harm walked back to his office to drop off the folder he had received from the Admiral. He headed back out into the bullpen towards Mac's office. He leaned his head into the empty office.
"She hasn't come back from the courtroom yet, sir."
I wonder what she's still doing in there?
Harm pulled open the double-doors to the courtroom to find Mac standing in the corner of the room by the window clearly absorbed in thoughts. Her arms were unknowingly resting around her stomach, eyes closed, body taking in all the warmth the rays of sunshine had to offer. Harm slowly began approaching her, not wanting to sneak up on her and scare her but at the same time enjoying the seemingly calm reverie that she was enjoying. Harm made it to the first row of gallery chairs when the courtroom door finally fell shut. The sound jarred Mac back to reality turning her head to the new noise in the room her eyes cast upon Harm.
"Hiya Mac. Just came to check in on you, I went to your office but Harriet said you were still in here. Everything alright?"
Harm finally noticed the single tear drop that formed at the corner of her eye, slide down her cheek. In three steps Harm was standing hugging distance away from her.
"Hey what's going on?"
"Received some uh…interesting news this morning…"
"Really? What kind of interesting?"
"Well uh, I'm late, or that is…I was late…"
"Late for what? A very important date?" He said desperately trying to lighten the mood and get her to crack a small smile even if only for a second.
"Well in a way, yeah I suppose that's about it."
"You're not pregnant are you Mac?" He said half serious half joking.
"How did you know?!"
"I'm right?! Umm…wow! Alright…ummm….hmmm…I'm never right though when it comes to you…."
"Well you guessed right on this one flyboy."
"I dunno I guess I just figured I'd pick something the most out there thing so that it wouldn't make whatever it really was seem so bad. But I guess I still guessed wrong."
The room remained quiet for several moments while both officers pondered the meaning of this situation.
"Have you told Mic yet? I'm sure he's thrilled."
"No, I haven't told anyone."
"You don't seem too excited Mac. You're having a baby! You're going to be a mother Sarah! WOW! Congrats! Let me the first one to give you a congratulatory hug."
He pulled her into his arms and held her there tightly, her body softened and relaxed in his embrace feeling for a moment the world and its problems reach zero gravity. He released her but still kept a hand on the small of her back, she instantly missed feeling his body next to hers but silently thanked that he hadn't removed his hand.
"I'm not so sure if I am happy about it."
"Why not? Afraid people will calculate the wedding and due date and realize that they don't quite match up? I think that we as a society have changed some from the 1950s."
"No not worried about that" she said finally giving him a little chuckle.
"Then what is it?"
"I've been having second thoughts."
"About what having kids, getting married…Mic…?"
"I want kids, I am excited about the notion of having a family…but…"
"But what Mac?"
"But I guess I just don't know how good of a father Mic will be or…"
A few weeks prior Mac and Harm had been recruited by Bud to come over and baby-sit their godson AJ for a few hours. Bud had seen how hard Harriet had been juggle life with work and the baby that he figured she needed a nice quiet evening out. Mac arrived on time of course at 1800 whereas Harm strolled by around 1820 late as usual. Bud and Harriet had already left before Harm showed up, their dinner reservations at the new Persian restaurant were at 1830 and it was on the other side of town. Harm walked into the house and saw Mac holding AJ in her arms; he was so much bigger than he had remembered. She hadn't seen him enter the room yet, so Harm just hung back for a minute enjoying watching Mac be "mommy" for a little bit. Then AJ spotted him in the corner. He started waving his arms and yelling "Unca" "Unca" "Up, Up." Harm walked over and in one giant swoop picked up AJ and flew him around the room. AJ was cracking up the whole time while Mac sat back on the couch and merely enjoyed the sight she was now getting to witness. He is really good with AJ, someday he will make a terrific father…oh the woman that finally gets Harmon Rabb Jr…
"Well it's hard to say how good a father or mother anyone will ever be until they are put into that situation Mac. Sounds like you're just having a lot of cold feet, maybe you should soak in a hot bath for awhile and warm them up a bit!"
"Haha Harm very funny. But this is serious. I am 3 weeks from my wedding and I am pregnant with the child from a man I don't love!"
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! Did I just say that whole shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck Mackenzie! Okay Marine composure…collect your self…breathe…good…now lawyer instincts…retread, walk this one back…
"What did you just say?"
"What I was trying to say Harm was that I am of course nervous I am about to enter into to huge life commitments and your joking about warming up my feet in a bath tub."
"First off, I was just trying to lighten the mood some, get you to laugh for a moment. A second, did I just hear you say that you were marrying someone you didn't love?"
came out wrong Harm, that wasn't what I meant Harm and you know
"Of course you do!"
Mac left her post by the window hurried to the prosecutor's desk grabbed her briefcase and made for the exit.
"Mac wait. I'm sorry. Come back here I need to tell you something."
"Harm, I can't do this right now…I just can't…please try and understand…"
"But wait my assignment…"
But it was too late Mac was already out the door before Harm had even gotten the "wait" out of his mouth.