I opened the box.

Yes, just as you suspected, Remus.

I groaned.

She'd done it again. Josie, my older cousin, hated tight clothing. My Aunt Millicent had always sent me my trousers. I have no idea why. Perhaps my parents didn't like shopping. Millie loved fashion. She was always on the lookout for the newest styles to send to the relatives she thought needed the most fashion "help".

Back to the pants.

Josie had apparently traded again.

Now, I was stuck with a box of girl's trousers.

I re-read the letter.

Dear Remmy,

I'm terribly sorry, but you know I just cannot stand those restricting articles of cloth. I find your trousers much more suitable for climbing trees and the like. See, I, unlike you, need them. My work requires it. Life is tough in the field. I know you understand. I hope you don't get teased too badly for my little stunt. Thank you, Remus.


Yes, that was that.

This wasn't the worst I'd ever gotten from Josie. I remember in my first year, she had sent me a pink, frilly, shirt. I had hidden that as far away from James as possible.

This time, Aunt Millie's note explaining the style of them, had said they were something called "pencil leg", "boot leg", and "hipsters".

I pulled out one of the ones labeled "pencil leg."

It doesn't look so bad.

Shut up.

I pulled them on.

Well, they weren't that tight. Maybe a little. But not unpleasantly. I could move in them.

Well, now that that's settled, it's time to finish that essay for Mr. Binns.

I went down to the common room, and collapsed onto an armchair with my parchment and book.


"That was the best one ever." James congratulated.

"Yeah, did you see his face?" I put in.

Peter was still laughing too hard to say anything.

"Classic." Said James. "We need to save that one again for old Snivillus."

We entered the common room.

And there he was.

Remus John Lupin. The only person I have ever wanted so much, it burned to look at him. Doing his homework as usual.

Oh this was going to be fun.

"Working, Moony? Tut tut. Bad form." I whispered in his ear from behind.

He jumped about a mile.

"Cheesus sliced, Padfoot. You don't do things like that to people. It's rude."

His voice sent a few shivers down my back.

"Thanks for the memo." I said, walking up the boy's staircase.

I needed to think. I had to find a way to make him want me back. This was getting out of hand…


Messr. Padfoot, the smarmy git who just startled me, seemed rather distant lately. Contrary to authors of fanfics around the globe, Sirius Black is not a "man-slut". He does not date many girls every month, or even every year. Sure, he has dated a few, not any more than is usual, though.

Sirius Black, is, however, one of the hottest males I have ever seen. Yes, as strange as it sounds, I am a gay werewolf. And what a pain that is too. It's bad enough to be an abomination, but now, discriminatory people find me even more of one. If you think it's bad enough to be gay, try being gay and in love with one of your best mates. I can't help it if the way his hair falls across his face makes me want to go over and-

Back to the present.

I had finished my essay, and had put it aside. Then, I had gotten out the latest collection of poems I had acquired. Muggle writers knew more than we give them credit for…


I wasn't figuring anything out. This was so frustrating! Why can't the bloody git like me back?! There was only one thing left to do. I had to tell him. Or show him. But how? This was going to be difficult. Just the thought of talking to Moony about this made me want to piss myself.

I gave James and Peter a good prank idea to make them leave the dorm, and went to where Remus had curled up in his armchair in the common room. He looked so deliciously adorable, I hardly wanted to make him move.

"Hiya, Moony." I sat on the arm of the chair. "whatcha reading?"

"Poe." Came his distracted reply.

Poe? What's a poe?

"What's a poe?" I repeated my thoughts.

"An Edger Allen Poe. A very famous muggle author. He wrote The Raven. You know: One upon a midnight's dreary-" he started to quote.

"Sounds really, very interesting." I cut him off. "Anywho, back to the real world. Moony, I need to talk to you."

He snapped his book shut calmly.

"Alright, what do you need to talk about?"

"Um… Not here. Too crowded. Come with me." This was going just as I planned. He got up and started towards the dorm Peter and James had left only minutes before. This was exactly when I noticed something that made my breath hitch in my throat. Remus's pants. They must be new. But the best part about this new wonderful article of clothing, was that it let me know how much of a nice arse Remus has. Wait... Must. Not. Think. About. That. Now.

We entered the dorm, me trying to get my breathing back to normal, and Remus turned around. He noticed where I was looking, and blushed that adorable shade of crimson which I love so much.

"My cousin, Josie, doesn't like the clothes her mother sends her, so she switches mine with hers." He explained, looking at the floor.

He looked up, and laughed. "Actually, she once sent me a pink frilly shirt. I had to hide it from you guys for a whole year."

I laughed. The image of Remus wearing something either a) pink or b) frilly was to outlandish to imagine.

When the laughter died down, and awkward silence fell over us like a wave.

"Well, uh, Sirius, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Wha- oh yeah. Um… well, this."


I didn't have time to think. Sirius had lunged at me and thrown me back onto my bed. He pinned my arms above my head, and suddenly, his mouth was on mine.

Am I dreaming? What's happening? Wait a minute-

I pushed him away. Moments later, wishing I hadn't.

A pained look flashed across his face, before a mask of indifference fell. Perhaps I was just imagining that…

He started to get up.

"Wait, Sirius, you're pranking me right? I mean, you and James must have planned that for ages." It slowly dawned on me.

"Oh my gods. You know I'm gay don't you?" the next words came out in a rush.

"Please don't hate me, Sirius. I know you already have to deal with my 'furry little problem' but now you have to deal with this. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised it you decided not to deal with me period. I just-"

He looked angry, and then predatorily down at me. Uh oh.

I dove under my covers. Waiting for the one man I had ever loved to start hitting me. I was sure he was going to, I mean, I'm a GAY-BLOODY-WEREWOLF! And he was surely a homophobe. No doubt about that. They all were. Well, James was a little indifferent, but Peter was the worst one I had seen yet. A few tears started their journey down my face and onto my bed.


Oh fuck. Remus is gay?! But he'd never like me, would he? And he'd kept this from us all these years?! How could he! Wait a minute, now that I know, it would be easier for me to get him to love me. I was pretty sure I loved him. I'd never wanted to be with anyone so much in my entire life. It hurt to bloody much. Now I know why those chicks are always writing sappy romantic story-thingies. It takes some of the pain away. I guess. I mean, I wouldn't know now would I? I've never written one in my life! Who says I have?!

Woops, back to the story.

He started stammering, "Please don't hate me, Sirius. I know you already have to deal with my 'furry little problem' but now you have to deal with this. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised it you decided not to deal with me period. I just-"

His eyes widened in fear, and then he jumped under his bedspread. I was not expecting this. I could see from under the sheets the suppressed shaking shoulders as he started to cry. A new bruise started to form on my already beaten heart.

"Moony…" I crooned. "Moony, I could never hate you." I peeled back the sheets to find him in the fetal position, hugging himself, and silently crying. This was too much.


He said he couldn't hate me. I doubted that. But nevertheless, I let him scoop me up, putting us back in the position where he tackled me. This time, his hands were not pinning mine. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug, and lay his head on my chest.

"Don't cry, Remus. It makes me want to cry when you do." He lifted up his hand and wiped a few tears off my face. He smiled a little. "Now, where was I before you panicked?" He pressed his lips back onto mine with just a little bit of pressure. Nipping at my bottom lip. I opened my mouth a little to allow his tongue in. The salt of my tears mixing with the kiss I had longed for too long.

He pulled back.

"Go ahead and tell me that didn't mean anything, Remus." he said. Uncertainty written all over his beautiful face.

"I can't." I said. Still wondering if this was some cruel joke that the three other marauders had planned.

A wide smile lit up his eyes in a way I had never seen before. His hands slipped themselves into the back pockets of my new pants, and he leaned his face towards mine again.

"I can't either."