Author's Note: Yeah...so in regards to the last chapter, I know I've confused a lot of people. I am fully aware that in order to kill a vampire, you need to rip them to pieces and burn the body. And I demonstrated that knowledge with the killing of Victoria. However, I didn't see it fit to kill Alice off in the same way. It wouldn't be nearly as sad if the Cullens had to mourn a pile of ash. Alice was beaten and cut up pretty badly. I had to leave her unburnt for 'romantic reasons'.
Her death just wouldn't have been the same otherwise. Thanks for your understanding.
Umm..no, that wasn't the last chapter. It was just one of the closing ones. THIS, unfortunately is the last chapter. I've had a lot of fun writing this, and I'd just like to say thank you so SO much. This is the end of the road. The Nocturnal Pulse series is over. Endless thank you's. I've gone through more than I thought, writing this series. Some really amazing reviews. And some that just really sucked and were even hurtful at times. But it was so much fun. Totally worth it. I don't know what else to say. I hope I can brainstorm some other crazy ideas so I can write more for you guys! Happy reading/writing, and the utmost love! Later!
14. A LONG WAIT 'TILL FOREVER
Two funerals in one week. And though I had anger in the past for those who were buried, I missed them. Alice, who had wronged me by making me unfaithful to Edward, died trying to make things right. And Jacob. I had no right to be angry with him. All he ever did was love me. And his dying act showed that. He saved me. Even as a vampire, I may not have survived that night if he hadn't stepped in and taken my pain upon himself. I couldn't measure with the multitude of tears I shed, how much I loved them. How much needed them both to go on. So much had come to an end. Jasper, was inconsolable. Oftentimes locking himself away. Not hunting. A close eye had to be kept on him to make sure he wouldn't retreat back into the shadows. To go about with his old ways of hunting human flesh. And Edward. He barely spoke. And as we lowered Alice's casket into the ground, his face remained unchanged. That night struck him to the very core. I had to wonder. Would we ever be okay?
Two Weeks Later...
I heard a slight clatter behind me. I jumped slightly and spun around. When I did, Edward -whom I did not see all day due to the sun we were having lately- was there. Trying to smile. All his smiles seemed forced now. There was so much melancholy in his eyes. He was having trouble letting go. At times, I swear he was trying to convince himself that, that horrible night in the cave never happened. I was an alien vampire. I could cry out my sorrow like a human. He had to keep it all caged inside. It showed.
"Mmm.." He hummed as he rubbed my arms. "Damn the sunny weather. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages-" He trailed off and looked behind me. I lowered my head and tried not to let the tears flow again. I had cried so much upon my realization of what needed to be done. No more tears now. I had cried so much before Edward lately. I didn't want him to think I was weak. I had to be ready for this.
"Bella...what are you doing?" he asked in a whisper. I watched him intently as his golden eyes grazed over the suit case on my bed and the folded clothes that lay within.
"I wanted to tell you earlier but I-" I lost my train of thought as Edward picked up my dark blue blouse and dropped it back in. He looked at me with such anguish in his eyes.
"-didn't know...how.." I whispered. Edward's breathing grew frighteningly fast.
"What- What are you doing?" He asked me again.
"Edward, I have to go." I whispered. He shut his eyes tight. Trying to force my words back into my throat. It was confusing to me too. But it made so much sense.
"This-" He began. His breathing was frightening me. "This is becoming a little monotonous, don't you think, Bella?" He asked.
"How many times are you going to leave me, before you decide to stay? I'm sorry if I've been a little distant lately, but I'm trying. I'm trying to get over-"
"No." I said. "No, Edward. You need to mourn. I miss her too. And as much bad, I had gone through with Jacob...I miss him too. So much. This isn't about you." I said. Tears. Hot tears. I promised myself I wouldn't. I picked up a pair of jeans and folded them delicately.
"And yet...everything is." I said. Edward looked at me with confused eyes.
"Edward. You remember what I am..." I whispered, dabbing at my eyes and staring deeply into him. He didn't look back at me. He looked at my bed. My ceiling. The light blue walls. Everywhere but me. Anywhere but at me.
"The Illuminati. The Enlightened One..." He trailed off. Then is ocher eyes flickered and looked at me. Making me shiver. He must have noticed this, because he reached out his perfect, pale hand and caressed my cheek. So wonderfully chilled and soft.
"Is that what this is all about? Because I don't care. You're still mine."
"Edward.." I whispered. "I don't even feel like me." Edward looked at me carefully. I would have to explain. I didn't want to. I just wanted to cry and kiss him, and escape the chill of his beautiful eyes.
"Since that day in the cave...I've been feeling less human. And it's not because I'm a vampire now. For a different reason entirely. I feel like a machine. A thing. That's been tampered with. I'm not...normal. I wasn't a normal girl. I'm not a normal vampire. Everything's just so messed up! And.." I sobbed. I inhaled and stared up at him. "I'm nothing but trouble.."
"Bella, come on. Stop being so foolish."
"No. It's true and you know it!"
"You're not leaving me because of this."
"Edward, open your eyes! Look at what happened to Alice when she tried to protect me!"
My boyfriend's face got a sharp look. I had pulled a string. A string in his heart. It hurt him to think about his sister. Gone. Forever. This is why I was leaving. I had to protect him from this pain ever happening again.
"Anyone who tries to protect me will end up getting hurt. Carlisle, Emmet, Rosalie, Esme, Jasper...and you. I won't lose you too." I said. "I won't."
"What does it matter, when you're leaving me?" He jested angrily.
"It means everything!" I yelled. No. Anger. Tears. I was faltering. I had to get out of here.
I packed up the rest of the clothing I would be carrying with me and put it in the suitcase before beginning to zip it up.
"Until I figure out who- what I am...I have to stay away. You have to stay away." Edward shook his head and pulled the case away from me. He unzipped it, and began tearing the clothes out and throwing them on the bed.
"This is ludicrous!" He yelled. "You aren't going anywhere." My shaking hands began to push him aside. This had to be done.
"Stop it. Edward. Stop!" I yelled under my breath so Charlie wouldn't come upstairs to see what the matter was. In mere seconds, before my eyes could catch up with the movements, Edward grabbed onto my wrists. I tried to pry my hands free, but his clutch was tight. With swift and deliberate movements, the beautiful vampire threw me onto my messy bed. Just as I began to rise and prepared myself to tell him to leave, I felt the weight of his body on top of me. His eyes were wild and his breathing, quick.
"Get off me." I gasped. He'd gone crazy. He just stared at me. His lips in a straight line. His eyes pleading. And then he moved in. Closer. I could smell his sweet breath. I could almost taste his skin. He kissed me. And I was in heaven again. He kissed the tears off my face and peppered at my neck with his lips. His fingers touched my hair and he whispered sweetly in my ear.
"Please. Don't kill me again. Don't leave. I'll protect you." My moral was beginning to wean. I wanted, with all my heart just to say 'yes.', unpack my bags and fall asleep with him here. But my tongue wouldn't move. And in my head, I knew that it wasn't right. People were suffering and dying because of my greed. Because I couldn't bare to let this man go. He, with golden eyes, copper hair, and flesh of diamond and marble.
"I should have never come back.." I whispered breathlessly as he continued to kiss my shoulders and collar bone. "If I had stayed with him..none of this would have ever happened."
Then the kissing stopped. Edward's eyes slowly glared up at me. I looked back. Unable to speak any longer. I wasn't saying any of the right things. Perhaps I should just go now before I cause more harm than good. Slowly, I slipped from beneath him. Absolutely trembling from his kisses. I got to my feet slowly, and re-packed what Edward had pulled out of the bags.
"When are you leaving?" Edward asked. Finally beginning to understand.
"At 6 am. Tomorrow." I said. My soulmate nodded.
"He thinks that I'm going to Jacksonville. To live with Rene and Phil for a while." I packed a few books into my carry-on bag for the long trip. Edward buried his face in one of his hands and pinched the bridge of his nose. Obviously deep in thought.
"Where are you really going?" He asked.
"...I don't know." I said. I had never known where I was going when I decided to leave. And now that my plane flight to nowhere was only hours away, the fear of that began to dawn on me.
"You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?" He asked bitterly, as he looked up at me. I closed my eyes and refused to cry anymore. I looked around. Everything that could be taken with me was packed. I looked around my room. Still filled with things. By the way it looked, it seemed as if I might be coming back someday. Would I? My thoughts were taking me far away. I didn't answer Edward's question.
"I'll come looking for you." Edward said. His face was filled with resolve. "And I will find you."
I my body shook. I believed him. Every last word. With Edward, I could never hide. He knew all of me. He knew when I'd go left and when I'd go right. How often I blink. When I drew in a breath. He just..knew me. He was me. He was buried deep into my skin. And nothing could ever get him out. Did I do the same to him? Was my love that potent?
"I know." I nodded, standing before him. Oh, he looked so lost, sitting on my bed. "And maybe by the time you find me, I'll be ready to stop running." I whispered. Edward nodded.
"So this is it..." He said. He rose from my bed. He stared down at me. He grazed my cheek with his fingers one more time. Then his lips parted. As if he wanted to say something. But something got caught in his throat, and he said nothing. He tore himself away from me and walked quickly to my window.
"Goodbye." He said. My feet couldn't move. And then I saw him begin to bend himself out of my window.
"Wait!" I yelled. He paused. I ran to the window and pulled him back in. I clung to his body. Nuzzled my face into his chest and cried, before I went up on my toes, and pulled him close for one last kiss. It was bittersweet. The best and worst kiss I would ever receive from him or anyone else. No...there was no one else. His fingers held my lips close to his, and it felt like his body was melting into mine. When he released me, I could barely see.
"Bella.." He whispered. His voice wavered in a way that broke my heart. "Swear it. Promise me." He said. I began to cry, hard again. Our promise. The promise I made him give me when we came back from Italy.
"F-forever...I promise. I promise."
I could never love anyone but you...Ever.
The hands that held me were shaking. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe this were happening. Maybe if the past two weeks of my life was just some bad dream, we would be okay. Edward pulled me close and kissed me once more, before releasing me and disappearing out the window. And that's it. That's all there is...
"That's all?" The voice from across the study table rang. I looked up and saw the sinister grin of Aro looking back at me with his burgundy eyes.
"That's it." I repeated. "I've told you everything. I held him. I kissed him. And I left the next morning. And now I'm...here. Your war is fought and won. The Quilleute leader, and my best friend is dead. He has no heirs. The line is broken. It's over."
There was a silence now, as I finished my story. The story of how everything happened since I left Volterra after my change. Every little detail, up until two nights ago, when I left Edward. But now I was back here, in Italy.. To get the information I required. To learn how to cope as the Illuminati.
"Bella, my dear...It is never over." Caius' silky voice rang. "There are werewolves all over the world. Strays and packs that would love to get their hands on the Illuminati."
So I had to fight now? I had to put my unwanted powers to use, then. Yes. I would fight amongst the Volturi guard, and let the chips fall where they may. They had said they needed me to fight. That's why they had gone through so much trouble with Jasper and Alice to make me what I am today. I would do whatever they wanted. What else did I have to lose? Everything was gone when Edward wasn't with me.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked sternly. I awaited orders. There was a silence as the three brothers and two of their wives looked each other, then at me.
"There is nothing more for you to do, Bella.." Marcus, my favorite of the three, said gently.
"You have suffered enough. Now you are safe."
I scoffed. Safe? Safe, yes. But happy? Would I ever feel happy again? Would I smile, and laugh, and drink and lay with my love again? Never.
"What am I supposed to do?" I asked blandly. Marcus' sad face splayed a small smirk.
"You stay here, with us.." He said. I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"You mean, to live?"
"We insist upon it. You are a Princess of Volterra, now. Vampires all over, give you their knees. You are vampiric royalty. Tonight, the world is yours.."
He smiled. I looked in between the five gorgeous vampires. They wanted me to be one of them? Did I want this? What did it matter? I had nowhere else to go. Noone else could tell me what I needed to know about myself.
"Well, Bella? Will you stay with us here as a Volturi?" He asked. Cauis and Aro's wives looked at me with sweet smiles. Did they want me to be their sister as Alice once did?
"I-I'm kind of tired...Will you excuse me?" I asked, before slowly rising.
"Of course. Having a Varacolaci vampire in the house again, may take some getting used to." Marcus smiled hopefully. Did I still remind him of his wife? Staying with these people felt right. I did feel a connection. But I missed home.
No, Bella. This is home now. These are your sisters and brothers. This is where you belong.
I smiled gently, and bid the five, goodnight. I wandered out of the mighty library in which I told the vampires my story, and out into the hallway. The two days in which I had stayed in this castle, had given me a chance to familiarize myself with the hundreds of corridors and rooms. I now knew exactly where to find my chamber, and Marcus' without getting lost. Marcus. He had become quite a friend to me. He treated me so well. When I stumbled into these castle doors, I found his arms first. But I had to be careful with him. Forever, when he saw me, he would see Marishka. And I couldn't be her. I couldn't love him the way I loved Edward. I found my room and turned on the light. A brilliant and large room with thick drapes, four poster beds. And arch windows. Very antique and beautiful. I was living the way girls in my favorite books lived. And yet I felt so empty. I looked at my reflection in a vanity mirror and beheld my newly reddened eyes. Yes. Human blood had tasted my lips. Aro forced my hand and told me to try it. And when I did, it was wonderful. Thick. Sweet. Floral. I didn't drink from a person, but their blood was presented to me in an ornate chalice. I had let go of the old customs that Edward and his family had taught me, and adopted the Volturi's. So I could belong. If only Edward could see me now.
I slipped in between the lush sheets of my bed and turned over on my side to turn off the light, before resting my head into a feather pillow. But I couldn't sleep. For hours, I tried to sleep, to no avail. I closed my eyes and began to hum a familiar song. One that I usually heard with a wonderfully deep and soothing voice. This song always put me to sleep. My voice hummed the notes over, and over again. Until I could swear, I was no longer singing alone. My breath hitched in my voice, and the song continued. A cold arm slunk it's way around my waist, and cold lips pressed against the back of my neck. My cold heart warmed. I smiled hopefully, and when I turned around I saw golden eyes staring back at me. Soft lips smiling.
"I told you I'd come looking for you..." He whispered.
"I'm dreaming..." I whispered. "I'm dreaming..." I couldn't believe he was here. I touched his cheeks. His lips. His hair. He was real.
"I love you so much..." I whispered. He grinned lightly and kissed me on the forehead. I cradled into him and breathed him in.
"You're my life, Bella.." He whispered. "I'll always find you."
"I'll hurt you." I sobbed. Edward did little, but smile in response. It hurt me. He knew I would hurt him again, and still he wanted me to stay.
"But you love me.." He said. He sounded conflicted, yet confident. As if it were a statement, and yet he was asking a question for confirmation. How could he ever doubt it. I loved him with everything I had.
"Forever. And every minute afterwards.."
STAY TUNED FOR LILITH FILTH'S NEW STORY
He fell through my window and landed on the wood floor with a light thud.
"Edward!" I cried. I ran to him and kneeled there, by his side, on the floor. I held him tight to me with an unbelievable ferocity. He was shaking. His unnecessary breath was shallow and jagged. My heart pounded in my chest. I could hear it in my ears. I lay him in my lap. His eyes were closed and his lips trembled. I stroked the skin of his cheek. Still smooth and perfect. But not cold. Freezing. When he opened his eyes, they were horribly black, and the tiny blood vessels around them were brilliantly red.
"Oh my god..." I sobbed. I had never seen my boyfriend in such bad shape.
"Where have you been?" I asked helplessly through my tears. I noticed how desperately Edward was clinging onto me. Fright was in his eyes. His hand shook as he clutched mine and looked into my eyes.
"..I-" He stammered and blinked. Something was wrong. "I d-don't remember..."