SHAMPOO'S HUSBAND

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Eva or Ranma or any of it's characters.

Summary: Shinji is teleported to another universe, gains mystical powers, and marries an amazon maiden after defeating her in battle.

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Chapter 1

New Skills, New Family

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(The Ranma Universe)

(AN: I know it's kinda ridiculous to call it that, but I couldn't think of anything more descriptive)

On a long stretch of road, near the entry way to a mystical valley in China, a group of nearly two dozen gang members and their leader patiently waited for their intended target.

"So, when are we going to hit the Saotome's?" one of the thugs asked.

"As soon as they're close enough." the gang leader said.

"But how are we going to beat them this time?" a second thug asked.

"With this!" he said as he held up a small gold disc with a red crystal in the center hung by a silver chain.

"A medallion?" the first thug asked.

"It's The Medallion of Happosan." he explained.

"The what of who?" the second thug asked.

"It contains the psychic vibrations of the greatest warrior in history who carried this medallion around for more than seventy years of his life." he explained.

The pair looked at him skeptically for a few seconds.

"So..., how does that help us?" the second thug asked.

"According to legend, if someone spills even a drop of their blood on the red crystal in the center of the medallion, the strength and fighting powers of that warrior will transfer to that person."

This time the whole gang looked at him skeptically.

"And this will enable us to get revenge on Ranma and Genma Saotome?" the first thug asked.

"Yes. Even Ranma Saotome won't be able to defeat Happosan and his powers." the leader said.

"Well, why don't you use it... like now?" the second thug asked.

"Because the power can only be activated at high noon on the 15th of the month, which is today."

Again they stared.

"Person's blood. High noon. On the 15th." the first thug repeated in utter disbelief.

"Ugh! Why does this ancient magic stuff always have to be so complicated?" the second thug groaned in exasperation.

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Speaking of complicated...

(The Eva Universe)

SLAP!

"That's the stupidest solution I've ever heard!" Misato Katsuragi shouted at the blond scientist.

"It's the best we can come up with. The pilot's life is immaterial!" Dr Ritsuko Akagi said, holding her recently struck cheek.

"You taking vocabulary lessons from The Commander?" the purple-haired woman hissed.

Not ten hours ago the 12th Angel attacked the city of Tokyo-3. All three Evangelion's had been dispatched to deal with it.

In a show of uncommon bravado, Third Child Shinji Ikari in Unit 01 rushed headfirst into the fight without knowing exactly what to expect from the Angel.

As a result, he was swallowed by the shadow-like Angel, Eva and all.

The Commander, who was actually Shinji's estranged father, ordered the other Eva's back. First Child Rei Ayanami had immediately complied, while the Second Child Asuka Langley Sohryu had cursed the boy's stupidity before pulling back.

When they retracted the power cable, they found that Unit 01 was not at the end of it.

Unit 01 would be without full power in less than five minutes, and the life support would last only 15 hours.

It was at the ten hour mark that they would have their plan.

And naturally, Misato was upset, because the plan involved dropping all 996 N2 Mines into the Angel to destroy it. Misato was against this plan because while Unit 01 might survive, there was no way Shinji would.

It was Ritsuko's plan and The Commander had approved it.

The original plan was to drop all the Mines at the Fifteen hour mark, but an impatient Gendo had ordered the bombs dropped now, on the Ten hour mark.

Misato watched in helplessness as the Mines were dropped and completely vaporized the Angel.

Unit 01 was literally spit out of the shadow and crashed into several buildings.

However, when the rescue crews got to the downed Eva, the pilot was nowhere to be found.

Hours of searching turned up nothing, and Ritsuko had a black eye by the end of the day.

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Back in the Ranma-Universe...

The premature bombing of the shadow-like, presumably dimension-bridging Angel, somehow separated The Eva from it's pilot. While Unit 01 was released from the Sea of Dirac, Shinji had been teleported through time and space and was dropped through an exit aperture right on top of the group of thugs.

Particularly the leader who was holding the medallion, right as the sun reached its apogee. Shinji fell straight down, his face connecting with the medallion, knocking it out of the gang leaders hands, and crashing hard into the ground. The impact was sufficient to cause a drop of blood to flow from his nose directly onto the red crystal in the center of the medallion.

"What?"

"Who?"

"Huh?"

A bright light suddenly shown in the middle of the gang, emitted from the medallion itself. The energy flowed from the medallion and penetrated Shinji's body, infusing him with the ancient power of Happosan.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" the gang leader shouted as soon as the light died down and Shinji stood up in the middle of them all, medallion around his neck, his skin-tight plugsuit now showing off all of his new, incredibly athletic muscles.

"GET HIM!" the gang leader roared.

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He saw the first punch coming, and the second, and the third. He didn't know how he knew what to do, but he did. Was it instinct, or something else, even he didn't know. He dodged one punch, then another, as if it was all too easy for him. He saw the incoming punch, grabbed the man's arm and tossed him into another. A second and third took his place, but Shinji moved like no ones business.

Instinct took over. Strength like he had never felt, fluidity like he had never known, energy like he had never possessed.

It was like he was watching a fight scene from an old Bruce Lee movie, and Shinji was staring as Bruce himself. The only difference was, he wasn't really fighting back.

Punches and kicks were thrown, but at Shinji himself, the boy pilot reacting instantly by either blocking or dodging or even tossing the attackers to the side. However, while not a fighter, Shinji felt the voice of someone else's voice, a whisper really, emerge, crushing his fear and doubt, ripping his hesitation away as if only in the heat of battle. A new confidence rose in him, so new that Shinji didn't recognize it as his own.

And then he fought back.

He threw the first of his punches, dropping one man in a second. A spinning roundhouse kick dropped two more as he pivoted off his other foot, launching him into the air to twist and spin like a tornado that slammed into several of the thugs. He kicked off of another, spring boarding into the air to split-kick two more into the ground.

He landed on the ground and fell into a leg-sweeping move that knocked three more thugs onto their respective rear ends.

"Stop him!"

"Get him!"

"Hold Him Down!"

"He's Unstoppable!"

"We can't hit him!"

"OUCH!"

"He's hitting too hard!"

"JUST! GET! HIM! NOW!" the leader shouted.

Shinji stepped up his speed and agility to strike at the gang members. Not a difficult task since he was literally surrounded. Everywhere he lashed out was a gang member.

BANG!

Everyone froze. Shinji was standing in the middle of the group. There were a dozen unconscious thugs lying around them, and the rest were standing around Shinji.

"That's Enough!" the gang leader shouted, holding his smoking pump-action shotgun in his hands. He aimed the gun at Shinji's chest. "I don't know who you are, or how you got here, and I don't care! You've cost us our revenge against Ranma Saotome and his father, so I'm going to..."

"Who?" Shinji asked.

"Ranma Saotome! A punk-kid Japanese martial artist with a long black ponytail!"

"Who wears a red martial arts gi, black pants and slippers?" he asked.

The leaders eyes widened, more stunned than angry. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"Because that kind of looks like him." he said, pointing behind the man.

The group turns around to see their target, one Ranma Saotome and his father, a balding fairly over-weight man, standing behind them.

The last thing the leader saw was Ranma's knuckles heading for his face.

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"Thanks a lot." Shinji said, once all the gang members were unconscious and placed in a pile.

"No problem. We should probably be thanking you. These guys wanted revenge against us." Ranma said.

"Really? Why?"

"Oh, they tried to rob us a few months ago, but I kicked all their butts in full view of the town we were in." he declared proudly.

"Must have been humiliating." Shinji mused.

"Must have been. They tried again a couple days later, but again, they got beat." he said smugly. "My name is Ranma Saotome, and that's my pops, Genma." he said, thumbing out his father. "What's yours?" he introduced himself.

Shinji gave him a fairly meek smile. "I'm Shinji Ikari. Pleased to meet you."

Ranma was a little perplexed. He had seen this guy fight prior to their arrival, and while he had some impressive moves and strength, he lacked discipline and seemed rather meek. Then again he was also quite young and polite, which might account for that.

Ranma looked him up and down. He was definitely Japanese, maybe about 14-15 years old, but he had a rather impressive physique for a boy his age. It was possible to get that athletic, but only if the boy had been trained and conditioned relentlessly for years. Granted a person could work out and not train in the martial arts, yet Ranma had seen the boy pull off some rather impressive moves that only a master would know. A style much like the Anything Goes system he trained in.

And what was up with that crazy skintight outfit?

"So, where did you learn those moves?" Ranma asked.

Shinji paused in thought, realizing he had no idea. "I--I honestly don't know." Shinji said.

Ranma looked at him strangely. "Huh? What do you mean you don't know? Did you get amnesia or something?" he asked, more curious than accusing.

"I don't think so." he said, suddenly realizing how that sounded. "I just... don't know where I learned those moves from, or how I got this body." he said, looking down at a body that was at least twice the muscle-size it normally was, and ripped.

"Really?" Ranma said as he examined the boy. He was athletic, seemed a skilled fighter, and had the strength to back it up, but he wasn't really practiced. In truth, the boy seemed... lost. "Where are your parents... your family?" he asked, not really thinking he could be on his own.

Shinji saddened at that. "I... don't have a family." he said.

Ranma looked at him and then got a wide smile on his face. "Well, how about coming along with me and my Pop?"

"Huh?" he gasped as he looked at the boy.

"Look, you helped us out with those guys who were going to ambush us, you've got some pretty cool moves but no real discipline. We can help you with that if you want."

Shinji actually brightened at that. "Uh... I guess. Where are you and your father headed?"

"We're headed back to Japan now. We've been on a training trip of sorts, for like the last ten years. Just me and that goofball." he said with rather obvious irritation. "Bout time, really. China's been fun but I want to go home."

"Wow." Shinji said, realizing that he and his own father had been separated for nearly ten years. Then again, Ranma didn't really seem to like his father that much. The boy seemed like Shinji himself, only opposite. Ten years apart or ten years together, and the son still resents the father. "Sounds a lot like me." he said, wondering where this insight was coming from.

"Really?" Ranma asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, we'll have a lot of time to talk that over on our way back to Japan."

"Sounds good."

Genma however was fuming.

"Forget it, boy! This kid can obviously take care of himself so let's go!" Genma said while grabbing Ranma's shoulder.

Ranma grimaced as he spun around and punched his father in the head, knocking him down the road. Granted he had just met this boy before him, but there didn't seem to be any harm in having him around. His father had seen the boy fight so he knew he wouldn't be an inconvenience. He was just pissed at his father for not helping too much during the fight, and besides, maybe this boy would be fun to spar with. He seemed skilled and athletic so he wouldn't have to hold back with him.

"Don't worry about the old fart. You can come with us." he said before pausing and looking at Shinji's plugsuit. "But we're gonna have to do something about that suit."

Ranma looked at the gang that had attacked him, all still unconscious, and fleshed out one them who he figured was about Shinji's size, stripping off his black trench coat.

"This will look good. And I've got an old training gi you can wear." Ranma said, handing the coat to Shinji while he dug into his backpack, pulling out his old training gi with black pants and shoes, the shirt was lacking sleeves and it was dark blue instead of bright red. He handed them to Shinji, insisting that he change.

"Uh, but isn't this... stealing?" Shinji as he changed into the outfit Ranma gave him from his blue and white plugsuit.

"They're thieves, Shinji. It's not illegal to steal from a thief." he said smugly as the younger boy depressurized his plugsuit.

"Why? Because they won't report the theft to the police?" he said as Shinji removed his suit.

"Pretty much." Ranma smirked as Shinji handed him the plugsuit.

"Nice." Shinji said sarcastically as he put the martial arts gi on. Then went on the trench coat and it fit perfectly. He's got a good eye. he thought as he looked at the coat, finally getting a good look at the medallion that was around his neck.

Ranma noticed it to as he stuffed the plugsuit into his backpack.

"Nice medal. Where'd you get it?" the pigtailed martial artist asked.

"I... don't know. It's not mine." the boy said, holding it up to look at it closer.

"Then why are you wearing it?"

"Don't know." Shinji said, holding it up to stare at it. "But somehow... I don't think it's their's."

"Right. Hey, maybe we can find the owner or something!" he said cheerfully.

Optimistic, isn't he? The boy pilot thought.

"So, uh, what are you doing out here alone?" Ranma asked.

"It's... complicated." Shinji replied.

Ranma just urged him on.

He sighed, not being a good liar, Shinji decided to be honest.

"Well, this might sound crazy... but I don't have any clue. One minute I was... somewhere else, and then... the next thing I know I wake up... here... in a fight with those gang members."

Ranma looked at him intently. While not the mot intelligent person on the planet, even he could tell something was troubling Shinji. "There's something more, right?"

Shinji sighed deeply and then reluctantly spent an hour telling Ranma everything.

About the Angel discovered in Antarctica in 2000, the destruction that resulted when it woke up, massive flooding and earthquakes, which killed off half the worlds population. Then fifteen years later a new group of Angels attacked Earth and how he was one of a few people chosen to fight them to prevent them destroy the world, using giant robots called Evangelions, and that the plugsuit he wore was his uniform when he piloted.

The last thing he remembered was being swallowed up by a shadow-like angel, waiting slowly for his own death, and then falling onto those thugs, suddenly gaining his new fighting skills and body without any idea how, and meeting Ranma at the same time.

There, got it all out. He thought, wondering how Ranma would take this. Surely he'd be running for the hills trying to get away from this crazy person.

However...

"So, you're like a... superhero in your world, right?"

Shinji blinked.

"Lucky son of a--"

"Wait, Wait, Wait!" Shinji interrupted. "You mean you believe me?"

Ranma looked confused. "Why shouldn't I? I mean, I've got a curse that turns me into... (shudder) a girl. You coming from another world isn't too far out there, you know?"

"Okay, whatever." then he paused. "Wait. Curse? What curse?"

"Oh." Ranma paused. "Well it's like this..."

Ranma then spent the next five minutes telling Shinji the edited version of how he'd been journeying with his father for the last ten years, wandering around the globe, training in all manner of martial arts techniques of the Anything Goes Style. As well as having his old man get him into all kinds of trouble imaginable.

Everything had been fine, until a few days ago when he and his father had taken a guide to the mystical valley of Jusenkyo, where there are hundreds of pools where, apparently, if something drowns in one of those pools, the next thing or person to fall into the pool will turn into the thing that drowned before.

He explained that he and his father had been training, balancing on poles above the pools water, and Ranma had knocked his father into the pool of a drowned panda. Likewise, his father had knocked him into the pool where a redheaded girl drowned.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Shinji stated after hearing that.

"Nope. Thanks to my stupid old Pops I'm now cursed to be a girl whenever I get sprayed with cold water." Ranma explained.

"And hot water turns you back into a boy." Shinji replied.

"Yup."

"That's just..." weird, bizarre, impossible, unreal, ridiculous, abnormal, creepy? "Alright. Fine. I come from a world where they let fourteen year olds pilot giant robots so hey, curses must be real in other worlds." he figured, finding it easier to just play it off for now.

"And fourteen year old robot pilots get turned into super fighters without any idea how." Ranma commented.

"Right."

"So, what are your folks like?"

"Well... my mother's dead..." he said sadly. "And my dad kinda... shipped me off to live with my teacher when I was four. Then he called me back after ten years to pilot the Eva for him."

Ranma balked. "You mean yours father sent you away, then called you back, after ten years, because he... had a use for you?"

"Pretty much." he said with some sadness.

What a bastard! "So that's why you said you didn't have a family."

"Yeah."

That's not right. Wait! I've got an idea. "Then how about I make you an offer?"

"Offer?" he asked, a little confused.

"Seeing as how you've pretty much dropped in from another world and such, which means you've got no family here... how about we adopt you Shinji?"

Shinji brightened up.

Being adopted would be the best thing that could happen to him.

"Adopt me? You'd do that?" he asked.

Before Ranma could answer, he saw Genma about to complain and pulled his son off to the side so only they could hear each other talk.

"Before you start complaining, old man, think about this!" Ranma said, interrupting the man before he could go on a tirade. "The kids got skills as a fighter so he's not going to be a problem or hold us back. He's already helped us out and I can tell he's a good person. Add to the fact that I'm getting a little tired of talking just to you."

Genma gave him a sour look.

"So, whatever plans you've got for me, had better start including Shinji, or I'm outta here and back to mom!"

Internally, Genma as fuming, as well as debating this new arrangement.

Even if I don't overly approve of Ranma's rash actions, he's got a point. The kid is a fighter, that much I know. A little hesitant, but he's got the moves. He seems nice enough. Which doesn't make a lot of sense. His skills, his muscles, his manners. Odd combination in a kid, especially that young. And he doesn't know how he got those skills, which is even more suspect.

But then another thought entered his mind.

Then again, if I adopt him, I could probably use him instead of Ranma when we get to Nerima. The boy does seem the more... respectful type.

"Ok." he said, then turned to the younger boy. "Shinji Ikari, I, Genma Saotome, current head of the Saotome Clan, hereby make you a member of our family!" he said, placing his hand on the boys shoulder.

Ranma whirled around and smiled brightly at Shinji. "Welcome to the family, little brother!"

Immediately Shinji realized that being a Saotome would have more advantages to it than being an Ikari. Even if the family he was now apart of were all a bit crazy.

"Yes, welcome to the family, Shinji Saotome!" Genma said.

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OMAKE! (Alternate version if Shinji also got a curse on him)

"I still can't believe this!" Shinji grumbled.

"Oh, come on, it's not so bad, Shinji." Ranma said.

"Not So Bad?" he gasped. "I could accept getting turned into a panda, even getting turned into a girl wouldn't be so bad."

"Sez you!" Ranma groaned.

"But a bunny rabbit? Come On! I'm like second-to-last on the food chain!"

"Oh come on! What are you really worried about?"

"Foxes, wolves, dogs, snakes, hawks, bears, falcons, getting turned into a pelt, a good luck charm..."

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Authors Notes:

It should be noted that I am using the 'Shinji Saotome' fanfic as a baseline for my story. A lot has been changed, mostly the plot, the dialogue, and overall direction of the story.

This is a Shinji/Shampoo pairing, an idea that I got from a fic sent to me some months ago by the name of 'Evazon'.

I think it was Shinjithegoodsharer who sent it to me.

Anyway, to make Shinji worthy of Shampoo, who values strength above all other characteristics and virtues, I decided to upgrade Shinji to a superhuman fighter.

This Happosan guy is someone who will have a more important role to play in future chapters. I also hope everyone accepts how such a transformation in Shinji could be possible. Hey, I'm using mystic powers and ancient magic here, so anything is possible, and fanfictions are supposed to be creative thoughts put to paper, or in this case digital pixels, so no problems.

Please review before moving on to the next chapter.