Yay! More procrastination... Who cares about German homework, anyway? HinataInuzuka requested a sequel for If You Were Gay, and this has been sitting around on my computer for a while... Muahaha...

Before you even say it, Sephy, I KNOW some of the lyrics are incorrect. I changed them on PURPOSE, ne?

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Dragonlance, believe me. If I did, Takhisis would be subjected to a major image change. I mean, come on, who runs around as a five-headed dragon these days? George Bush is MUCH scarier...

ANITHER disclaimer: I do not own anything from Avenue Q, either. (sniff) Wow... I don't own anything, do I?

RAISTLIN

The Dragon Orb is really, really great

DALAMAR
For porn

RAISTLIN
I've got a good connection with Takhisis so I don't have to wait

DALAMAR
For porn

RAISTLIN
Huh?
There's always some new site,

DALAMAR
For porn!

RAISTLIN
I browse all day and night

DALAMAR
For porn!

RAISTLIN
It's like I'm searching at the speed of light

DALAMAR
For porn!

RAISTLIN
Dalamar!

DALAMAR
The Dragon Orb is for porn

RAISTLIN
Dalamar!

DALAMAR
The Dragon Orb is for porn,

RAISTLIN
What are you doing!?

DALAMAR
Why you think the Orb was born?
Porn porn porn

RAISTLIN
Dallly-mar!!!

DALAMAR
Oh hello Shalafi

RAISTLIN
You are ruining my song!

DALAMAR
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

RAISTLIN
Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

DALAMAR
Me no talkie

RAISTLIN
Uhm… Good
I'm glad Takhisis gave me this new technology

DALAMAR
For porn

RAISTLIN
Which gives us untold opportunity

DALAMAR
For por— (Raistlin glares his evil Raistlin-y glare) —oops, sorry

RAISTLIN
Right from your own Tower

DALAMAR
For ---

RAISTLIN
You can browse for more power
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop

DALAMAR
FOR PORN!!

RAISTLIN
DALAMAR!

DALAMAR
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN
Noooo (coughing fit)

DALAMAR
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN
(coughing) D…Dalamar…

DALAMAR
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

RAISTLIN
That's gross! (cough) You're a pervert!

DALAMAR
Ah, sticks and stones Shalafi

RAISTLIN
NO really, you're a pervert
Normal people don't sit in my study and look
At porn on the Dragon Orb!

DALAMAR
Ohhhh?

RAISTLIN
What?!

DALAMAR
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

DALAMAR
Let me hear it!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

CARAMON
Sorry, brother

DALAMAR AND GUYS
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

CARAMON
I masturbate!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

RAISTLIN
The Dragon Orb is not for porn!!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

RAISTLIN
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now I know for a fact that you, Par-Salian, check spells and trade stocks with the Dragon Orb

PAR-SALIAN
That's correct.

RAISTLIN
And Master Theobald, you buy things from the Abyss

THEOBALD
Sure!

RAISTLIN
And Antimodes, you keep selling your possessions to Takhisis

ANTIMODES
Yes I do!

RAISTLIN
And Caramon, you sent me that sweet birthday card

CARAMON
True!

DALAMAR
Oh, but Shalafi-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

CARAMON
. .yeah

RAISTLIN
EEEWWWWW!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN
Gross!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN
I hate porn

DALAMAR AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click

RAISTLIN
I hate you straight men!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

RAISTLIN
I'm leaving!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn

RAISTLIN
I hate the Dragon Orb!

DALAMAR AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

DALAMAR
The Dragon Orb is for

DALAMAR AND SOME
Dragon Orb is for

DALAMAR AND ALL
Dragon Orb is for PORN!

DALAMAR
YEAH!

A very astute person may ask: What in the Nine Hells is Caramon doing singing with a bunch of mages?

The answer: Simple. I wanted to have him masturbate! ;)

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Review, review, review!!! All flames will be used to re-burn down Nibelheim!!!