Um, I'll be updating less frequently now... sorry. Cuz, well, my parents cut off my internet.
Why? Well... let's just go on with the thingy, please?? ((sobs))
Vaccine Melidean...bySweet and Sour Sauce.
I'm laying here naked (Don't worry, she's wearing undies.) in my bed, staring at my clock-10:41. I should get some sleep.
"HOLY SHIT OMG GET OUT OF HERE!!!" screamed our dear narrator as she tried to cover herself up. Because, alas, although she had on undies, there was no bra. Guys, in case you don't know, being caught without your bra on is a BAD thing. BAD.
And who is our friendly perpetrater? Why, SPIDERMAN, of course! Because what the hell kind of parody would this be without irritating cameos? WELL?!?!
"Hi," said Spiderman. "I'd just thought I'd tell you that the author is currently playing Ultimante Spiderman while writing this (hoorah for multi-tasking!) and that's why I'm here. Um... yah. Who wants nachos?"
"GET OUT OF YOU YOU FUCKER!!" the narrator screamed. The narrator will now be refered to as "the narrator" even though she is no longer the narrator. Fuck my English teacher, I say yes to randomly changing perspective in the middle of the story! Fight the power!
"Uuumm... no. I'm supposed to read this first," Spiderman held up a sheet of paper. "EHEM. Now, people, I ask you, WHAT IF I and Nny got into a fight? Who would win? Any votes?"
"Nny'd win! He'd kick your ass!" said somone who popped out from behind the narrator's couch.
"I dunno... Spiderman's got all these super powers..." said someone who popped out from behind the TV.
"AH, but remember, Nny has super powers too!" said someone who popped out from under the rug. (Woah, dude, this is really creepy. Where are these people COMING from?!)
"Hmmm... true. Sorry dude, but Nny would probably disembowel you with his eyes closed," said the TV guy sympathetically.
"Um...hey," said Nny who had magically appeared in the middle of the room for no reason. Everyone looked at him for a second, before he just kind of left.
"OKAY, THAT'S IT, EVERYBODY OUT!" the narrator screamed, still covering her boobs.
To make a long story short, everybody left.
The narrator sighed and laid her head back down on the pillow.
I should get some sleep.
That thought ran though my head and almost immediately a new vioce invaded my mind.
No! Sleep only brings uncertainty! The vioce was of a strange and confused man… he sounds eerily familiar…
The narrator looked towards the window in her bedrom, and found Nny was whispering stuff at her through the glass. When he'd caught her looking, he ran away. Far, far away.
The narrator sat there looking stupid for a second, before the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and found Nny standing there looking embarassed. "Er," he began, "I think I left my coat here."
"You seem familiar..." the narrator told him. "Like an old friend I haven't seen in five years. But that's silly, I'm twenty, I'd have to have met you when I was fifteen! Ha!"
Laugh not at that which you can not prove to be wrong, Melidean!
"Okay, stop that," Melidean (the narrator) said angerly. Nny had been whispering in her ear. He stepped back, embarassed again.
"How do you know my name?" Melidean gasped after Nny stopped being a moron.
"I know you because... I am you," Nny said creepilly. Twilight Zone music played in the backround.
"HA HA YOU'RE QUOTING ME!!" laughed Jimmy, as he streaked across the room naked. Johnny got out a rifle and shot a hole in his big, ugly head.
"I thought you hated guns!" said someone who popped out from behind the bed. Nny shot a hole in head, too. Do not contradict thy sexy man's actions.
Nny then looked towards Melidean. "I'm your old preschool buddy! Hiyah!" he chirpped, waving at her.
Miledean blinked several times in an unnatural manner then rubbed her eyes to make sure she can see correctly. "Dude... I'm sorry, but I can't remember back, like twenty years. So get the hell out of my house. How do I know you aren't some freak rapist?"
"Googagoogy!" said Melidean as a little baby, and played with some blocks.
"NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" screamed baby Nny, as he chased several children with a screwdriver in the backround. Then he made a poopy in his pants.
There was a short pause as everybody thought about their lovely childhood memories.
"You have a weird name," Nny said suddenly.
"Yes. Yes, I do."
Then it just got awkward.
"Why are you standing in the doorway naked?" Nny asked. "I honestly don't want to see that much of you."
"Ah... or DO you?" Miledean asked him.
"No. Get some fuckin' pants on."
And she did! It was lovely!
"Ummmm... Okaaaay... There isn't any Nny/Devi in this," Miledean commented. "Did you notice?"
"Yeah. I also noticed that Barney is behind you, making obscene gestures at your ass."
"Let's ignore that for now."
"BECAUSE I SAID SO! SHUT UP!"
"LET'S SING BLUE OCTOBER!"
"BLOOBYBLOO!" said Nny as he got out a giant axe and chopped her into a thousand peices.
Then Devi came out of nowhere and started making out with Nny. Then they started rolling on the floor and blah blah blah NO PORN HERE, FOLKS!
Itw as Miledean's alarm clock.
She stared in disbelief at the ceiling. It was all a dream?! But… It seemed so real! How else could Nny have been so... oh yah. Nevermind.
She then raised her arms and flew away.
"Well, where to go now…" she thought out loud to herself as she flew down the side walk. 789? No. She continued on. 787…no. 785? Old people! No. I'm a difficult bitch. I'm impossible to please. That's while I've been single for sixteen years.
She came to house number 777. Hmm… I don't think I've met these people yet. Might as well go say hi!
The walk way is rather odd, there's a sign that says "keep off the loose soil, it's impolite to walk on the dead." And the door bell has "just go ahead, try and ring me." Written on it. Very welcoming.
Despite the warnings otherwise she placed the box of her remaining positions to her left and rung the door bell.
"Yess…?" A vioce asks from behind the door.
"Um, I'm your neighbor, and I was wondering if you could help me with something." She made up on the spot.
A skinny, sickly, figure opens the door. He stares at me speechless for a moment, as do I him. Then he says, "I was talking to my rabbit today and he told me that the past-tense for cry is crew. It isn't crew."
"What? It isn't crew. It's cried. Can I lick your ear?"
And then she left. This story wasn't going the way she had planned. Miledean had imagined somthing along the lines of every conversation ending with someone's virginity being lost repeatedly.
"WAIT!" Nny called. "I HAVE MUFFINS!"
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SQUIRREL POOP? iF YOU HAVE, HOW HAS IT CHANGED YOUR LIFE? FOR BETTER OR WORSE? ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!!"
MORAL: Never attempt a relationship Nny. It ain't goin' nowhere, girl.