Disclaimer: There's a "LAME" in "DISCLAIMER", which proves that disclaimers SUCK! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Once upon a merry ol' time in jolly ol' Domino City, JA-FREAKING-PAN (NOT AMERICA, IDIOTS), there was a group of kids. Kids who were about to have a pleasant surprise.

"Check 'dis out!" Joey exclaimed, waving his friends over who were looking around in the game store while pointing at his laptop with the other hand. "'Dey got a video of 'da Saddam hangin' on 'da internet."

"Enough with the accent!" Tea bitched.

"Oh, man, I was just getting it down, too!"

Yami ran downstairs from the attic he's kept in to look at the video. "I WANNA WATCH, I WANNA WATCH!"

Everyone stared bewildered at Yami.

"Oh, uh, I mean, this may be interesting to watch. You know, historically."

Tristan spoke up. "I think Yami may be having a withdrawal."

"I am not!"

"Yeah," agreed Yugi from behind the counter, "Yami, you haven't mind-crushed someone in months. The pressure is getting to you."

"Oh, SCREW YOU!" snapped Yami.

"No, thanks. I am not gay." (Yes, this is a Yaoi potshot. Go me.)

"Yami, why don't you go lie down?" Joey asked.

"Is that your solution for everything?" returned the frustrated spirit.

"Hey, it worked whenever Serenity pulled some of my hair off at age 5..."

"Joey, I didn't take a nap, you broke a vase over my head." Serenity reminded him from across the store. "That's why I had to get my eyesight repaired."

"Uh... e-he he..."

"Yami, is there anything we can do to relieve your stress?" Tea asked, putting her hands on the pharaoh's shoulders.

"Oh, well there's always-"

"Sex?"

"...I was going to say a vacation."

Mokuba busted rudely through the door without any warning.

"Guys, my brother won tickets to a cruise and he said I could invite whoever I wanted to go and I want you guys to come!" Mokuba explained in one breath. "Please please please!"

"...How many times do we have to tell you not to go busting through the door like that?" Yugi asked the boy sternly.

"But- but- but-"

"No butting, Mokuba," Tea bent down to look at Mokuba on eye level. "Imagine the door as a giant wooden friendship kajigger."

"Oh, God, where is she going with this?" Tristan wondered to himself and to Joey.

"See, now, we need to cherish and respect the friendship door-"

"ARE YOU GOING TO COME OR NOT?" Mokuba screamed suddenly. Tea stood up and promptly shutted the hell up.

"Calm down, Mokuba," Yami said.

"What? Oh, I was just repeating what my brother said in the bedroom last night."

"Eww." Joey groaned.

"I know what you're thinking, but he was on the phone with a secretary so shut up."

"Anyway," Serenity started in an attempt to leave the course that the conversation had just taken "what were you saying, Mokuba?"

Mokuba sighed and then, slowly, repeated himself. "My brother won tickets to a cruise and he said I could invite whoever I wanted, and I am inviting you guys."

"What?" Yugi asked dully. "Oh, sorry, we were thinking about dueling, could you repeat that?"

"YOU GUYS ARE SO FREAKIN' STUPID!"

"Repeating what your brother said again?" asked Tristan.

"No, but I learned that from him."

"I heard him," said Serenity. "He's inviting us on a cruise because his brother won tickets and he allowed him to invite anyone."

"Yeah, but, uh..."

"What is it?" Yami asked.

"I can only take five of you." Mokuba said.

"Well, then, forget it!" Yugi exclaimed, slamming his hands onto the counter. "I'm not going unless all my friends are coming. That's what being friends is all about and- MMPH!" The others dragged Yugi to the back room before the end of his sentence.

"What are you, stupid?" Joey yelled angrily, taking his hand off of Yugi's mouth.

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" Yugi whined.

Joey was about to lay into Yugi further, but then a look of thought (which looked remarkably like a look of pain) appeared on his face. "You know, not a day goes by that I don't find myself asking that same question. That, and if mustard would taste good on a caramel crunch bar."

"Let's go try it out!" Yami said enthusiastically.

The whole gang headed over to Yugi's house to go try it.

"Tastes like a groin sandwich." Tristan concluded.

"What kind of dumbass idiot thought THIS was a good idea?" Yami asked.

"Uh, you and Joey," Mokuba reminded him.

"...Oh yeah."

"So, what's this about me being stupid?" Yugi asked Joey.

"Look, this could be our only chance to get Yami to unwind a little bit!" Joey said. "It would be relaxing for all of us too!"

"Yes, it's exactly the sort of vacation I didn't think about, but if I did, I'm sure I would've loved the idea." Yami said.

"Okay, fine." Yugi said, giving in. "But we need to decide who is going and who isn't. I vote myself out, I get seasick easy."

"Hey, wait, come to think of it, how the hell did we ever get separated?" Yami asked Yugi out of nowhere.

"I think it had something to do with a car battery," Yugi said, straining to remember.

"Oh, NO! NO! It couldn't be that!" Mokuba said, laughing awkwardly.

"What was that?" Joey asked, only half paying attention.

"Oh, nothing."

"Well, anyways, how are we going to decide, Yugi?" Bakura, who had been very silent up to that point, asked.

"Oh... you'll see..."

TO BE CONTINUED