"Ridiculous! That's what this is!" I thought, slamming the door to my chambers behind me.

My anger had carried me the seven full flights of stairs to my tower and I wasn't the least bit wind winded. Funny how anger works.

"You would think," I began aloud to my empty room, "that after her little infidelity and what with our relationship still being on the rocks, that she wouldn't stand so close and hang on to that bloody harlot, Hooch!

"But no! My Minerva is hanging all over her!" I say to an empty chair. "No dignity. No inhibitions. Blatantly flirting! And right in front of me!

"What possible reasons could she have to do that? To hurt me that way? Unless--"

I stopped, unable to speak, unable to accept that what I thought might be true.

"--Unless… Unless she's honestly in love with Xiomara."

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize

"There you are, dear!" Minerva said, sounding rather winded, as she walked into my chambers. "I was wondering where you disappeared to!"

I sat up in my bed where I had cried for the rest of the afternoon, caught between denial and knowing the truth. "I-" I can' t even talk to her, I realized. It hurts too much, knowing what she really feels. "I- I was just tired."

"Oh? Well, I hope you're not coming down with something, dear!" Minerva said to me, as she lifted the blankets and prepared slip under the covers next to me.

"This isn't right," I thought to myself. "It's too forced. Couples who are really in love don't act this way. And it doesn't take this many hours for someone to check on the person they love," I thought, remembering when Minerva had merely heard that Xiomara had fallen off her broom and how quickly she had rushed to her side despite promises that Xiomara was fine.

Minerva climbed into bed and curled up next to me, falling asleep immediately.

I, however, stayed awake, unable to fall asleep. Afraid I would dream of Minerva being with the one she truly loved: Xiomara.

"And it's been so long," I whispered aloud as tears formed in my eyes, "since it hasn't been forced. So long since we'd had a real conversation that wasn't fighting."

I drifted into a fitful sleep as I rolled away from Minerva.

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

"Minnie, what are you doing?"

"Well, 'Mara, I'm trying to finish grading these essays for my third years, but your kissing the back of my neck is making that rather difficult, dear."

"Well," Xiomara began, unpinning Minerva's long, elegant hair and letting it cascade around her shoulders, "does this make it difficult to concentrate?"

Minerva sighed heavily, trying to fake annoyance.

"How about this?" Xiomara asked, sitting herself on top of the papers Minerva was trying to grade and pulling Minerva into a kiss.

Finally pulling away, breathless, Minerva answered. "Yes, that does make it rather difficult to concentrate."

"Well," Xiomara continued, reaching into her pocket and retrieving a small velvet box and opening it to show Minerva. "Does this make it difficult to concentrate?"

Minerva's eyes widened. "You're kidding! We've talked about it for so long, and you went out and-"

"Bought you the engagement ring I'd seen you eyeing, yes. I have. Anything to make you happy, baby." Xiomara leaned in to give Minerva another kiss.

"No!" I woke up with a start, crying. I knew the dream for what it really was: a vision.

Minerva really did love Xiomara. And there wasn't a thing I could do about regardless of who Minerva was with now. And they would be happy. Very happy.

"No!" I shouted again, tears streaming down my face.

"What?" Minerva asked, waking up. "Sweet Merlin, what is it?" she asked, seeing my tears.

I shook my head, not knowing how to tell her I knew what she really felt, who she really loved. And it wasn't me.

"Baby, what is it?" she asked, hugging me close and kissing my tears.

I just let myself be hugged tighter, still at a loss for words.

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

"Minerva?" I finally asked, several hours later as I saw the sun rise.


"I… I think we should… Should…" I took a deep breath, "I think we should break up."

"What? You can't be serious!" she said, pulling away from me and looking into my eyes.

I nodded tearfully. "I think we should break up. We're… We're not right for each other."

"What do you mean? Of course we are! You love me and I love you!" Minerva protested.

"No," I said quietly and looking away.


"No, you don't. You are in love, but not with me."

"What? Of course I'm in love with you."

"No," I told her, shaking my head, "you're not. It's not me that makes your heart beat faster and slower at the same time. It's not my voice that makes your heart flutter. It's not my presence that makes it difficult for you to catch your breath. And you know it."


"No. it's not me and you know it. There is someone who makes you feel like that, but it's not me. It's Xiomara."

"Stop. You're just still upset because she and I made love."

"That's just it. Do you hear yourself? You didn't say because you two had sex. You said that you two 'made love.' it meant something to you. You love her. And I can't be angry about that. But, you can't expect you and I to stay together when we both know your heart isn't in it."

"But- Sybill."

"No. I understand. I'm not angry," I took a deep breath. "Go to her, Minerva, it's okay."

She searched my face to see if I was being serious or if this was a test. I nodded to show that I was serious and she hugged me.

"I'm so sorry, Sybill," she whispered.

"I know."

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

"Come on you blasted thing!" I screeched to my crystal ball. "Show me something else! I'm sick of this scene!"

I gulped down more cooking sherry, glad I had bribed the house elves into giving it to me.

"I did the right thing, though," I decided. "Minerva will be happy now."

"Minerva… Minerva will be with the one that she loves," I said, crying a little. "I mean, it wasn't me that she loved, even though I loved her with all my heart. But… She doesn't love me. And she's with the one she does love. So she'll be happy. And…. Her happiness is enough for me, isn't it?" I asked the crystal ball.

It showed me the same scene again, one in which an overjoyed Minerva ran to Xiomara and kissed her, tears in her eyes. Xiomara embraced her, returning her kiss.

"No, damn you, you evil crystal ball!" I screeched, tears streaming down my face. I picked up my crystal ball and threw it against a wall, where it smashed into a million tiny pieces.