Don't own the show Veronica Mars or any of that...only wish I did. Set before Spit and Eggs sometime in season three.
Veronica carefully snuck out of the bed she had been lying in beside Logan. He was asleep, but she had been awake for hours... even though it was five in the morning and pitch black outside. He always looked so peaceful when he was asleep after they had had sex. So peaceful, so sweet. Which he was underneath it all, he was sweet and a smart mouth and the one person that could match her in intensity. Everything she could ever want or need wrapped up in a beautiful, muscular body that she wasn't sure could be competed with. He treated her so well, she knew he cared about her, even loved her. He'd saved her life before, more than once.
And it ate her up inside that she didn't love him…couldn't love him. Something in her insides just wouldn't let her quite make it that far. It was like she didn't have the ability to love, to trust without any doubts or fears at all.
Veronica Mars…spinster. That was just the way she was built. She wanted to love him back so much though. She would trade almost anything to possess that ability. But as it was she was just dragging him down. Any other girl in the world that got to know him for who he actually was instead of the psychotic jackass he sometimes portrayed himself as would love him. And didn't he deserve that, after all? Shouldn't he be happy even if she couldn't be?
She stood and looked at him one more time before leaving again. Running like she always did. It was her greatest talent, the one thing she did even better than the whole detective gig. Her greatest flaw. And she knew it, but it still didn't change anything.
In the words of Nelly Furtado, I'll only fly away. Nothing anyone can do will ever be able to change that. Maybe if they could I'd be able to be honestly happy in life at some point. Too bad.
She wasn't sure why she really bothered dating. Never had. Other than just the need for companionship and intimacy. That never worked for her really though, no one could break down the wall she and her life had built around her all the way. The wall they had to get through to be truly intimate. There wasn't one person on earth that she could trust enough to tell everything.
There was Logan, and sure, had she done that he would have listened and kept her secrets and held her when she needed it and would still love her. She knew that, but that thing, that wall, that whatever it was inside her just wouldn't allow it. There was no point in trying. There was passion, and in that department she'd never been lacking, especially not with Logan. But she would never be able to give him everything and she thought that he was beginning to realize that. She was quiet as she exited the room and shut the door, leaving him once again.