Chapter 19

Inner turmoil

Itachi glanced down at the little blond walking beside him, the tanned hand cupped by his own pale hand. They were both still in the park, just walking side by side, since time didn't matter anymore… He wasn't thinking about returning to his classes so soon, and he was absolutely sure Naruto had the same opinion.

The red-eyed handsome man pondered over Naruto's current feelings… After what the little blond had heard from him, Itachi was certain that the boy was feeling somewhat sad… or maybe even angry at him.

He glanced at the mop of golden hair for a moment and bit his lower lip in concern. Did Naruto… hate him? Well, he admitted that he felt guilty… Had he been stronger at that time, had he been useful at that time, and Naruto and his otouto wouldn't have ever been in this kind of situation.

Of course it was his entire fault. After all, he had been the one supposed to protect Naruto, hadn't he? And what had he done? He had brought the boy into an alternative universe and, as it hadn't been enough, he made the boy live a life that was a lie…

He silently grimaced. Did Naruto even likehim?

It was true that Naruto responded to his advances more than satisfactorily, yet he wasn't sure if it was from the boy's heart or because their souls were linked. When a soul is linked to another, it is natural for one to respond to the other intensely, for it is the feelings, the essence of life, and the souls that are linked.

Now that he thought about it… Did the boy feel… forced by him? Did the blond hate him? Despise him? Loath him? Thought of him as an unworthy lover?

His head was swarming with questions and his insides were clenching in sorrow. He wanted to know, needed to know if that was what the boy was feeling. And, if he did, although it made Itachi's heart clench just at the mere thought, he would let Naruto go. He would leave him in peace.

Still walking, Itachi asked the boy.

"Naruto-kun, would you like to have lunch?" He immediately smiled at the boy's enthusiastic response.

" Definitely! I'm almost starved."

So that's where they went – to a modest restaurant.


In the end, Itachi paid for both, even though the little blond protested against it wholeheartedly saying that they should split the bill, yet, as stubborn Itachi was (although he wouldn't ever admit that) he ignored the blonde's rant.

It was only in the late evening that they returned to the college. Naruto had said something about going to take a shower and sleep immediately since he was really tired.

Itachi merely nodded for he understood that the boy must be exhausted from all the emotions from that morning, yet he gave a small smile to the boy which was rewarded by a big grin and a little wave from the blonde – he couldn't bring himself to do more than that since his energy levels were already low.

Itachi was now entering his room, and when he closed the door, he allowed a small sigh to escape his lips. Honestly, he too was a bit tired. All those feelings of insecurity were still bottled up inside of him, and it was the first time that something like this ever happened to him.

He just hoped Naruto wasn't going to distance himself from him. He didn't think he could bear that… After all, he had loved Naruto since the day he had seen the little bundle of sunshine. A small crossed his face as he remembered the 'old days' and his inner commotion settled down a bit.

He unbuttoned his black dress shirt, exposing firm defined abs and chest; and he freed his hair, letting it cascade down upon his shoulders as a black curtain of velvet. Now he felt better.

Itachi went to the bathroom and started to fill the tub with very hot water, just as he liked it. As he waited for the tub to fill in, he walked inside his bedroom and prepared his change – black silky pyjamas and a pair of boxers from Calvin Klein. Yes, Itachi was that kind of man… he liked everything prepared beforehand, and he did it concerning his classes, meals, plans, even clothes… Hell, he did it for everything. And that could be seen from the massive organization in his room. Every book was organised accordingly on the bookshelf, his clothes were organised by colours in his wardrobe and there were no papers on his desk – he liked it that way, it made him feel accomplished, free you may say so. Yet, he was no cleaning freak. He understood that sometimes you wouldn't find the will nor the time to make your bed in the morning… nor to kill the spider that was already settled on its fully constructed web.

Speaking of which, Itachi glanced up and saw the spider on the left corner of the ceiling, the wall where his bed was. He frowned a bit at the brown fat spidy.

"You've probably been feeding yourself well by your appearance." The spider looked like it was almost nodding at him with sparkling eyes.

And that's when Itachi thought about the possibility of the spider's… good points. So as to not kill it… just because he was feeling too tired to get a broom or a slipper to swat it away. The spider ate all the flies and mosquitoes that sometimes came in during the days and nights he left the window open. Yet, he didn't know if he could swallow the spider one night… Well, considering it was just above his bed, the probabilities of it crawling upon his face and Itachi accidentally swallow it, were 50/50. He just hoped it would never happen. Tomorrow he would kill it for sure, spray it until it dies. Oh yes, his sadistic part was already enjoying the thought.

He looked at his desk and he spotted an envelope that hadn't been there when he left the bedroom with Naruto. Grabbing it, he searched for the sender's name yet found none. 'Might as well be from someone inside the college.' He groaned 'I hope it's not a love letter'.

Delicate fingers opened the envelope and unfolded a letter.

Well well well… One of our students, Uzumaki Naruto, has been missing classes today, and as I see it now, you, Uchiha-san, have too. As enthusiastic a student-teacher relationship might be, unfortunately I have to warn you to… not attract too much attention. Other than that, as a friend, I might as well warn you about Orochimaru-sensei. You know he is a meddling snake who likes to get into others' business, so, if I was you, I would be more careful. He has been plotting something. I just know it.

Well then! I hope you'll be back tomorrow to classes. Don't worry, I've already taken care of yours and Uzumaki-san's absence.

Hope you had fun,

Jiraya.

P.S. – I've left you a little something under your pillow, just in case someone enters your room and sees it. I'm sure you'll… make the best use of it.

Itachi raised an incredulous eyebrow at the principle's letter. He and Jiraya were in friendly terms. He respected the old man and in return, the old man respected him. He was, supposedly, at least a bit grateful for Jiraya's advice about Orochimaru. He despised that man wholeheartedly. Not even had he tried to make advances upon him yet the man had almost tried to impose himself upon him.

Itachi sneered. Like that was possible. The deathly pale man was not nearly as strong as him, nor did Itachi feel even a little bit of attraction for him. He almost gagged at the thought. Orochimaru wasn'tdefinitely someone he founded attractive, although the man wasn't that hard on the eyes. The only thing he felt for the man repulsion and rage because of the man's indignity and arrogance.

Shaking his thoughts, he went near his bed and searched under his pillow for… something. As soon as his fingers touched it, his eyes widened comically. That… wasn't what he was thinking… right? That wasnot a magazine. And well, Itachi was sure that it wasn't an 'innocent' magazine such as a sport one… but he was sure it was something… pornographic.

He tugged it from under the pillow and his eyes widened comically, his mouth hung open as he flipped the pages in a non-Uchiha way.

His heart started to beat faster and faster as his eyes roamed over the naked pictures of boy and men in the most erotic positions. Some of them were tied, other had kinky outfits covering little of their bodies.

Itachi was… shocked. Had the principle really given him this? And to his outmost embarrassment, he now understood what the man had meant by 'making the best of it'.

Itachi never in his life ever pondered about buying this kind of magazines, well, maybe when he was a teen in his 17 years, yet that was different… He was now a full adult and had no problem with hormones… unless he was with Naruto.

Honestly he didn't even know if he was homosexual or heterosexual. He guessed he was… 'Narusexual'.

He still wondered to himself why he was still looking through the magazine and stopped when he saw a picture of a little blond and a brunette man (certainly older than 18 years) that were in a rather… evocative position and suggesting the Lolita complex. Itachi felt his face heat up as his eyes couldn't stop staring at the picture. It somewhat reminded him of how good the blond felt that day… Just thinking about how the heated skin of his little blond felt against his own was already making him hard. He groaned, already feeling sexually frustrated.

He almost jumped out of his skin when the door burst open and his eyes widened again in shock and embarrassment as he saw his little otouto step into the room with dark eyes almost 'scolding' him for missing today's teaching.

Time seemed to stop. Itachi was almost chest naked with his unbuttoned dress shirt, his pants were unzipped and unbuttoned (for he intended to strip and enter the tub, which was probably already full by the way), his hair wasn't in his usual ponytail and his eyes were widened and his mouth was open almost in a look of horror and extreme shame… and… was that…

"Aniki… Why are you blushing?" – Sasuke idly asked. The dark eyes roamed over Itachi's unusual state and he quirked an eyebrow at it. His dark orbs continued to analyze the situation before him and his eyes widened as he noticed a magazine with two boys on the cover looking rather suggestive and a big title as 'Playmen' in red letters.

Sasuke looked at his brother in the eyes again and bursted out laughing. The teenager grabbed his sides for they were hurting. Itachi had been reading a gay magazine and from the looks of it, his aniki was blushing in embarrassment of being caught. He couldn't remember the last time he laughed so hard, and he couldn't stop himself from it… He breathed between laughs really fast and some tears were spilling from his eyes as he couldn't stop at all from laughing at the sight in front of him.

Itachi only snapped out of his shock when Sasuke closed the door and left… still laughing hard. This… this has never ever happened before. What was his little otouto going to think of him now? Heck, even the spider seemed to smirk at him in amusement.

He snapped out of his stupor and silently cursed Jiraya for the kinky magazine and the suggestion implied in the act of actually giving it to him.

Now almost sulking, Itachi opened the drawer of his desk and tossed the magazine inside. Nope, he didn't put it the trash can near it, for what, he didn't know yet didn't intend to think over it. Cursing silently under his breath for what happened earlier – it wasn't what it looked like… - he went to the bathroom, stopped the water from flowing and undressed completely, fully aware, yet ignoring, his erection.

He entered the bathtub with a contented sigh as the hot water immediately calmed him and relaxed his muscles.

Itachi sighed again and thought of what would Sasuke do tomorrow for they were going to meet up eventually – he had classes to teach where his otouto would be.

Would Sasuke tell of this… unpredictment to Naruto? If he did, what would Naruto think of him?

He winced at the thought of it, hoping for it to not worsen the boy's opinion about him. His insecurities were already getting back on him.

Deciding to relax for a bit, he relinquished in the feeling of taking a long nice bath until the finally stepped out of it to dry himself, put on his boxers and pyjamas and finally, tuck in the bed with his hair wet, not really in the mood to dry it.

He soon fell asleep.

And, unbeknownst to him, on another floor of the building, inside the same room, a little bundle was already sleeping soundlessly while a raven boy was cackling madly at the perspective of new blackmail material while in his bed… soon, he too was sleeping.


A/N: Omg! I've finally had the time to actually write 5 pages… only. I know, it's quite short. Yet, I prefer it this way, because I can update more frequently.

School is… depressing, unnerving and stressing me. Yes. It really is.

3.20 am here. My eyes are burning yet I feel satisfied with myself since I've FINALLY updated.

I feel really guilty. I really do. You wonderful people still review even though I haven't updated since such a long time. And, I'm just amazed at your amiability. That's why I'm dedicating this chapter to you. Yes, you, on the other side of the screen. I wish I could list here all the people who reviewed and has been so nice words cannot describe it, yet the list is so huge I can't even name them! So, Mican-chan, you're one of them! Oh, if I remember, PirateCaptainBo (hope it's like that) is one of 'em too! Damn, I wish I could remember your name, all of you! I swear I would put them all of them here! Those are the only ones I currently remember 'cuz it's so late and smacks herself it seems that my skull is currently empty. Yet, I hope you guys remember it: you are the essence of this fic. Yep, only you. Without you, there wouldn't be any fic. Why?... Because you give it life. I'm only the one who delivered it.