This Black Page in History

Summary: What if Martin had died at the end of Mossflower? Set to 'Feint' by Epica. Gonff's POV.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Redwall. I probably would never have been able to write it so well as Brian Jacques, and I don't own the song either (though I really wish I did, as it is beautiful, especially the acoustic version).


The very brightest candle of all has been extinguished-
Smothered by those who could not bear to face reality.

I'll never forget that moment we found you lying there, like a piece of rubbish in the churned, bloodstained mud. You were so limp, like a doll in the hands of a Dibbun. Only dolls are never that badly mutilated. Even though Tsarmina's dead and gone thanks to you, I truly hate her for what she did to you in that battle. Not that I liked her all that much before, but if you could have seen yourself there...

I think it was when Bella lifted you to carry you to Brockhall that it really hit home. You were gone. I had known you, and Timballisto had been reunited with you for such a short time that I guess we didn't want to know you were gone. As in really, permanently gone. Not just off exploring again. Though sometimes, I let myself indulge in that fantasy. Maybe you are exploring- after all, none of us knows what secrets the Dark Forest holds.

Every beat of your heart tore the lies all apart,
Made foundations quiver.
Every wave in the lake caused the porcelain to break
And I shiver...

When the Dibbuns got back from Gingivere's Farm, they all wanted to know where you were. That was the hard bit. They're too young to understand death. Or war. We had already buried you by the time they arrived, so we told them you'd gone travelling again, like we all so desperately wanted to believe. It was a hollow lie, but they believed it. Maybe one day we'll tell them the truth.

Your grave's in a really nice spot. By the river, near where they buried someone called the Mask. Apparently he's Skipper's brother, say hi to him, won't you? According to Skipper, come spring there'll be flowers everywhere. Probably sounds really childish and sentimental, but I think you might have liked it.

The leftover tallow just doesn't contain
All the right answers,
Under a sea of dust lies a vast wealth of wisdom.
As untouched snow turns red,
Innocence dies.

Me and Columbine are married now. Just had the wedding today, in fact. Thought you should know, matey. 'Cos after all, you did help that happen. Sort of. It wasn't the same without you there- trust you to escape a party. You always were more of a loner, I think, although you tried to hide it. In your eyes, I saw why. The memory of the maid. You're with her now, I can tell. Smiling at us down here, while you…

What are you doing there? Wish I knew. Maybe one day I will- just wait for me, won't you matey? I don't want to go there just yet, but at the same time, I can't stand the idea that I'll get there and never find you. Please don't let that happen, Martin.

This black page in history is not colourfast, will stain the next,
All that remains is just a feint of what was meant to be.
This black page in history is not colourfast, will stain the next,
And nothing seems in life, in dreams, like what was meant to be.

Life goes on without you. There's Dibbuns to take care of, oh, and we're building an Abbey too. I think you knew, but just in case you didn't, I'll tell you anyway. Timballisto and the other ex-slaves have been a great help- they're all really strong, so they handle the stone easily. It's a beautiful colour- I think you would have liked it. A lovely sort of rosy-red, so we're planning on naming the Abbey after it. How does Redwall Abbey sound for a name, matey? Sound alright?

Columbine's calling, so I should probably go. I'll be back tomorrow though, matey, you have my word on that. See you then.