Disclaimer: I own Prince of Tennis. Which is why I cannot speak/read/write Japanese, why Rikkai isn't the main team, why Akaya isn't the prince of tennis, and why there isn't a yaoi in the actual anime (GO TENIMYU FOR YOUR GOLDEN PAIR GOODNESS!!!)

Warning: Crack. And some very light fluffy yaoi stuff at the end because I can't seem to stay away from it. Oh, and the bottomish bit wasn't edited.

A/N: This is what happens when you stick your straw through your juice box, then sit down and write 2 and 1/2 pages of a story. Then come back to it two weeks later and write the ending while being in a very different mood and you don't know how to end it. That's why there's random YukiKiri fluff at the end. Because I can't seem to stay away from them.

For: Myself. My present to myself because I felt like it. And I'm hyper on birthday cake and mountain dew. -bounces-

Sanada Genichiroh walked into the club room and stepped in a puddle of colored sticky stuff. His first thought was that somebody had just spilled something and forgot to clean it up, but after looking around he noticed that the entire floor seemed to be covered in strange puddles of liquid and there was a pile of multi-colored tin-typed wrappers scattered around the room.

His first thought was that this was Niou's doing. However, upon hearing Akaya's voice from the other side of the lockers he knew it was not.

"DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" came the voice of the younger boy.

Trying his best to avoid the puddles that covered nearly all of the floor he walked past the lockers to find Akaya sitting in the middle of a sea of liquid and using a straw to stab a juice box ferociously.

"Akaya, what are you doing?" he asked, trying not to sound confused.

"DIE, DIE, DIE!!! Oh, hi fukubuchou," he said not even looking up from his "work", "DIE, DIE, DIE!!!"

Sanada just stood there trying to make sense of the boy's actions because, unlike the rest of the team, he still questioned Akaya's actions.

Deep in thought about this new behavior he didn't even notice Yanagi come in and come up right behind him.

"Akaya seems to have gone on a juice box killing spree. Interesting…" he said, nearly making Sanada jump.

Oh, so that's what he's doing. He was about to ask the data master why when two other, much more dreaded voices, were heard.

"Oi, brattling, what the hell are you doing?" Niou.

"Haha, nice job Akaya." And Marui. Could things get any worse?

"DIE, DIE, DIE!!! Hi Niou-senpai. Hi Marui-senpai. DIE, DIE, DIE!!!"

"Brattling, answer the question. What the hell are you doing?"

Grabbing another juice box from the pile on his right he started stabbing it before replying, "They're being annoying!"

"So…you're stabbing them?" questioned Marui.

"Yup. They deserve to DIE!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!"

Then a new voice was heard.

"Um…what's he doing?" asked none other than Jackal (who ISN'T listed as a character on Juice. You didn't confiscate his crayons again, did you?" asked Yanagi while writing furiously in his brand new green notebook (it was a gift from Seigaku's Inui).

"I did last week because he was drawing on the walls again," Jackel said gesturing towards the fresh coat of paint covering the walls of the club room, "But I gave them back yesterday."

The Data master looked up a moment before going back to his writings.

"Interesting… something else must have sparked his anger then. Ii data," he said, having a total Inui moment.

Yagyuu then chose that moment to join the group.

"Pardon me, but what is Akaya-kun doing?" he asked in his way-too-polite-for-his-own-good language.

"He's killing juice," Niou snorted.

"Oh, I see. Akaya-kun, would you mind not killing the juice? I'm afraid it's making quite a mess. I'll help you clean it up if you'd like."

More snorting from Niou which was then turned into a coughing fit which ended up sounding something like "Roshi's such a dork."

"What was that, Masaharu?" Yagyuu said turning and letting Niou see his glasses glint dangerously.


"Didn't think so," Yagyuu said, dropping into colloquial language for once. (VOCAB WORD! My teacher would be so proud of me! XP)

"Ii data," Yanagi said as he proceeded to have yet another Inui moment and write down the fact that Yagyuu will stop being so polite when it comes to Niou.

"DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" Akaya said and the entire team was then snapped out of their own worlds and looked at Akaya before remembering what he was doing.

"DIE!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" the curly-haired boy screamed yet again. And then Marui got a wonderful idea. He plopped down on the other side of the massive pile of juice boxes and started to kill them as well.

Niou burst out laughing, "And he's supposed to be a tensai!" he said through fits of laughter.

"Now Haru, be nice. Although, may I ask what Akaya and Bunta are doing?" came the voice of the last regular, and their beloved buchou, Yukimura.

"Ah, Seiichi, Akaya has suddenly gone on a juice box killing spr-"

"MURA!!!" Akaya said as he successfully latched onto Yukimura and began to cry.

Sitting down on a near-by bench he patted the younger boys head before asking him to explain what was going on.

"I… I was… opening my juice and then… the straw… went through it!" Akaya bawled, curling up in Yukimura's lap.

"I see," he nodded, petting the juniors head, and smiling that smile of his before picking up another juice box from the pile closest to him. Sticking the straw in it the correct way he handed it to Akaya before picking up another, inserting the straw, and handing it to Marui.

Both the junior and the tensai's faces lit up. In fact, Akaya was so happy that he almost cried. Almost.

Still having Akaya curled up in his lap drinking juice, Yukimura sent the rest of the team off for mops and buckets (he had told them they couldn't play tennis until the mess was cleaned up).

Running his fingers through Akaya's hair (the younger boy's head was currently in his lap) he sighed and smiled.

"You know, next time you want me alone you could just come and find me, Akaya."

They younger boy pouted slightly, upset about having the truth behind his "plan" revealed, making Yukimura laugh.

"Bu-but whenever I see you you're busy!"

Yukimura smiled slightly and kissed the younger boy on the head. "I suppose you're right. I'll make it up to you. How does Saturday sound?" he said, looking at the junior who, grinning ear to ear, quickly agreed.

Outside the door Niou and Marui laughed, Jackal smiled, Yanagi wrote things down and had more Inui moments, Yagyuu looked blank (but happy blank, like he was imagining going home and playing some golf), and Sanada fumed for more than one reason.
Lalalalalaaaa!!! There's my random crackish fluffyish thing!!! -bounces- Crappity, crap, crap, crap! I...just drank a bottle of mountain dew and need to go to bed...oopsies...