Most of the time, death seems like the end. You know, they stick you in some hole in the ground, and if you're one of the lucky ones, you'll also eventually get your remains burned and treated with salt, courtesy of some freak like me and my brother.
Of course, those new-age Yanni people would tell you that death is always the beginning- yeah, well, speaking from personal experience here, it's a pretty screwed-up beginning. If you're stuck up there in the clouds, you're stuck listening to harps and angels singing all the time- such a pain in the ass. It's like one long church service- you know the ones, the uncomfortable pews, the chapel that's just a couple of degrees too warm for the suit your aunt forced you into- and the pastor just drones on and on, not noticing that everyone's just mumbling "Amen" from time to time to make him feel all macho and important.
Now, I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound too pleasant to me.
Then there's hell. Now, honestly, I guess I could go for hell- but you see, my job kind of made it a dangerous option for me, considering that my life was dedicated to killing all of them...and, well, there's no Afterlife Insurance, is there? And I really don't see myself having any drinking games with the Fire Demon, Meg, and Bloody Mary any time soon.
So there you have it. Death really sucks for me.
Luckily, I died rather violently, which gave me the third option of going back to earth. Now, as much as I wanted to try Molten Vodka in hell and listen to the harps all day in heaven, I figured I could settle for Purple Murples and Metallica back on earth. And besides, what would be an eternity without having that beanpole brother of mine around? I just knew he was probably holed up in some motel room in God knows where, looking out of a rainy window, getting dead drunk and contemplating suicide or something nice and angsty like that.
Well, the angels weren't too sorry to see me go. Though I heard the demons were; apparently they had some awesome torture plans for me- considering the fact that they created torture, and they considered their whole master plan to be awesome, I wasn't exactly feeling weepy over missing out on that.
I would have liked to try that Molten Vodka, though...
Author Notes: I know that this is not the original prologue. This is a new prologue. The old prologue is the actual story...well, we all make mistakes. Thanks for reading, and as always, please review!