He needed have worried, because Pam had no intention of letting him go. Her grip on his scarf was partly practical, as this new side of Jim was literally leaving her legless. Jim finally pulled back from the kiss, while his hands rested against her collarbones.
"I guess I should follow you?" he asked, his voice even deeper than usual.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The whole situation felt unreal to her, like she was caught in a lovely dream. She was afraid that if she spoke it would all disappear. She thought she'd rather be living this dream than wake up alone again. That could come later.
He reached for her hand and they walked to the elevator. They kept glancing at each other, the smallest of smiles appearing between them each time. She felt his thumb caressing the soft spot between her thumb and forefinger, and she didn't understand how such an unassuming patch of skin could have so many nerve endings. There was no other way to explain the goosebumps that were running up and down her spine, and the warmth that started in her belly and was quickly moving lower. She closed her eyes briefly. He still loves me, she thought. After everything, he still loves me.
He walked her to her car. "See you there?" he said, his look suddenly cautious.
She couldn't help but grin. "Probably, seeing as I live there." She saw him look down at the blacktop, embarrassed. She raised his hand to her lips and held it there until he looked up at her again. "This isn't the part where things get awkward, is it?" She asked gently.
She saw the clouds behind his eyes disappear. "No," he should his head, starting to smile his familiar uneven adorable smile. "Not anymore."
She gave him a quick kiss and opened her car door. "Good," she smiled.
Pam reached her apartment first, and her thoughts on walking through the door were how completely unready for company she was. She took off her coat, trying to think what she could tidy up quickly. She caught herself mid-thought. Jim wasn't coming here to see her apartment. There were more important things to think about besides clearing off the coffee table. Like what she expected would happen when he walked through that door. Like what she wanted to happen. Like what she was willing to let happen.
She expected they'd sit down and talk. There was, after all, so much still unsaid, unexplained between them. They would clear the air and discuss where things stood, and maybe even make some tentative steps in the direction of what they'd do next. They had Roy to consider, and Karen too. But she wasn't forgetting how it felt to kiss him, either. She had no doubt any and all conversations would be interrupted at regular intervals to kiss him. To touch him. To cuddle up with him.
What would happen after that? It made Pam a little lightheaded when she considered the options. Would he be leaving alone or staying overnight? If she was being honest, the chances he would stay were significantly better than half. She knew they should probably take it slow. She expected he would probably agree. But deep down, she knew it wouldn't take much of a push on his part for her to give in. Her first fantasies of being with Jim predated her break-up with Roy by years, and since he'd returned from Stamford they had certainly increased in number and intensity. It was something of an understatement to say she wanted him.
She heard the knock at the door and wiped her hands against her skirt. She was nervous. She was anxious. She was excited. Above all though, she was happy. She opened the door and there he was, his tall frame filling the entrance. Their eyes met, and if Pam doubted she'd ever understand the expressions behind her eyes, she was just proven wrong. There was absolutely no room for misinterpretation. He wore his love for her openly, his desire for her without a note of hesitation. She knew then as she invited him in that the sun would rise before he would be stepping back over that threshold.
Jim dropped his bag on the floor near the wall and slipped his coat off, draping it over the back of the oversized rocking chair. He turned back to Pam, a look of hesitation on his face, as if he waited for her lead. The sight of him in her living room, alone with him in her private space, and she took the path of least resistance. She reached up and kissed him, first gently, then with more urgency as she pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders. Jim managed to toss it onto the rocking chair without even taking his lips from hers. As she brought her arms up around his neck, he slipped his down along her sides, resting them on her hips as he pulled her closer. Pam opened her mouth and found Jim more than eager to explore her with his tongue. She felt her legs beginning to get rubbery again, and slowly began to pull him back toward her bedroom.
There was a little voice in the back of her head (sounding remarkably like that snooty girl in high school that she just hated) telling her that she was moving too fast. Surely there were things to consider before just falling in to bed with the man, even if it was Jim. But the minute she heard that argument, her response was a strong I want this. For once I'm going to just let go and have what I want. When she reached her bedroom door, Jim paused. "Are you sure?" he asked, brow knit tight in concern.
She tilted her head slightly. "Aren't you?"
"God, yes," he replied, his voice husky.
"Then that's all I need to know." She stood up on tiptoes to kiss him again.
As they made their way into Pam's bedroom, hands began the task of removing clothing. His tie undone, her fingers worked their way down his shirt buttons. He tugged her blue cardigan off first, and her striped shirt was next on his list as his large fingers were more than adept at the tiny buttons. His fingers stilled for a moment when she reached for his belt, pressing a kiss into his chest as she slid it from his belt loops. Once she succeed in unzipping and removing his pants, he made quick work of the rest of her buttons and her skirt zipper. He had one knee on the bed as he began to kiss her shoulders, all the while reaching around to unhook her lace bra. He let it fall to the floor with the rest of their clothing and encouraged her to join him on her bed. They stretched out on the silky comforter has he hovered above her, slowly kissing her face and neck, his hands wandering down over her full breasts. As his lips traveled the path his hands had taken, Pam closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh a pleasure as he explored her breasts with his mouth. She couldn't remember the last time something felt that good, and she was glad that her fantasy of Jim's style seemed not very different from reality. Unlike her previous sexual partner, she somehow knew she would be able to trust Jim to remember her needs, too.
There was almost a reverential silence has he touched her body. The only noises to be heard were their breathing, both coming a little harder now, and the sounds of pleasure Pam could not resist making when he moved against her in just the right way. And he seemed to be doing a lot of that.
He stroked her belly with his hands, placing next a line of wet kissing down it, all the way to the elastic band of her panties. They were a pale peach satin, but definitely more Hanes than Victoria's Secret. Jim didn't even seem to notice as he ran his fingers slowly under the waist band, clearly enjoying the way she held her breath for a moment when he first touched her there. He pulled them down slowly, and when he was done and had tossed them on the floor, he went back and placed a line of kisses from one hip to the other, his tongue ever so carefully tasting her along the way. Her hands were on his shoulders, and she clenched her fists in anticipation. She hadn't expected attention like this, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd even been in this situation. But Jim clearly had her satisfaction on his mind, and she wasn't about to stop him.
He placed a kiss at the point where her legs came together, then gently ran his hands along the insides of her parted thighs. When he pressed his face against her inner thigh, she could feel the stubble from his chin, and it made her shiver. He noticed her reaction and brushed his cheek carefully along each thigh, before settling in on more delicate areas. As soon as she felt his fingers she let out a moan and moved against him. Her eyes still closed she could feel him exchanging his fingers for his mouth, and the sensation of his tongue against her nearly caused her to come immediately, as evident by her sudden and loud moan. She thought she heard him chuckle, which made her immediately giggle. However the laughter died on her lips as he continued his magic. When she felt his fingers slide into her her, she couldn't resist arching her hips and saying his name in a such a deep sigh it even surprised her. It wasn't long until he took her all the way to such an intense climax she worried immediately afterwards that the neighbors had heard her.
Jim wasted no time in working his way back up to her, sliding his body against hers as he nestled himself between her legs. She could feel him hard against her. His mouth was warm and demanding against hers and she surrendered to him willingly.
"Go on," she encouraged. "I want you, Jim."
He groaned against her mouth and finally gave in to his desire. His initial thrust left her breathless, and his rhythm of fast in, slow out satisfied them both. She wrapped her legs around his hips, feeling like he could never be close enough. She could feel the muscles of his back moving as she clung to him. Given the build up she was impressed that he lasted as long as he did, and his kiss when he was done was so incredibly tender that she felt overcome with emotion.
"I love you," she whispered as he lay recovering on top of her. When he moved off of her, she rolled toward him, not willing to be parted from him just yet. She was amazed to see evidence of tears in his eyes, and she reached up and fondly wiped an errant bit of moisture from his cheek.
"I love you, too," he replied, his eyes never leaving hers. "I have always loved you." Once again, she marveled at how clearly she could finally read those beautiful hazel eyes. He cuddled up against her, the stillness between them comfortable and natural.
His arm was wrapped possessively around her waist, and he nuzzled the skin behind her ear. Minutes had passed before he finally spoke again. "You understand that I'm never going to let you live this down. Never."
She turned her head toward him. "What are you talking about?"
"You dragged me into your bed even BEFORE our first date. Honestly, Pam, I had no idea you were soooo easy."
"Maybe I just didn't want to risk you getting away again."
Jim seemed to mull that explanation over for a moment. "Nah, I think I'm going to stick with easy."