Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Leave me be! TNT::snake hand gesture:: Sorry. I just saw Stomp the Yard. Excuse me.
A/N: Okay. Some of you are probably slightly confused and/or agitated. And with good reason. But when I looked over the last chapter of MIMK, I realized that I didn't have anything left to say. Christmas was over, Harry was gone, and poor Ginny was near a breakdown. Which isn't unusual, really. So one day in study hall, a sudden idea struck me. So….here it is. Enjoy.
Custard, Baby Jesus, and Kinumphs
"You can't make me go. I bloody refuse."
"It's not that bad."
"Sorry. But I'd rather dip my head into molten lava, thanks."
"Just take Baby Jesus, and put him in the pool of custard."
"No, Harry. I'm mad at you."
"Put him in the custard. Or I won't come back."
"That's not fair. You're blackmailing me."
"Put him in the custard. Now."
"Ginny. Put Baby Jesus in the pool of custard. You have no choice."
"I'll give you my kinumph! Just don't make me do it!"
"Your kinumph isn't enough. Good day, Ginny."
"Harry! Let's talk about this! Don't disappear all angry and the like….."
There were a few things I realized as I awoke from that terrifyingly creepy dream.
Baby Jesus is dead.
I really don't fancy custard.
Harry is my new dream stalker.
I should really stop listening to Luna.
What in the bloody hell, is a kinumph? And why would I hand it over to Harry? Is it tiny?
It is furry? Can I pet it?
Blast. Who knows?
I also realized something quite fantastic though.
I hate Harry. HE is an arse.
It's going to take a HELL OF A LOT of explaining and sorryness to make me forgive him.
Either that or one really good snog.
Bed…..hoping I don't die from frostbite….
So I was sitting quietly contemplating 57 ways to castrate Harry, when an owl tapped its little claw on my window.
Me, being the loving and caring soul I am, let it in. To only find that it was a package for me.
At first, I wanted to force the owl back in to the bitter night, but Baby Jesus would not have liked that.
So I took the package.
Did I mention, that it was from Harry? The arse?
Anywhoo, I found the most horrific thing.
A tiny plastic Baby Jesus.
Holding a bottle of Firewhiskey.
And bowl of chestnuts.
"I think it's cute. In a Teraphylinlycon sort of way. They share the same eyes."
"Luna, it's a sodding bit of plastic. That just happens to represent someone that I used to hold very dear to my heart."
"You held a Teraphylinlycon close to your heart? That's impressive. I'm surprised it didn't attack you and eat your eyes."
"Could you try to follow me here? Bloody hell!"
"Well, it doesn't look like Harry…"
"You said you held him dear to your heart. It doesn't look like Harry. Wait. Did you have an affair with a midget? That looked like Harry?"
"No! Merlin! It's Baby Jesus. I cared for him after his alcohol induced haze. Harry was jealous and threw him out of the window. I rescued him from the gnomes in our garden. The gnomes gave him a turban and also got rid of his stickiness. There were chestnuts in his turban and I ate them. We lived for a couple of peaceful days, before he was savagely burned by my mother."
"I know odd right?"
"Yes. Garden gnomes traditionally leave walnuts. You must be housing an odd breed."
"Riiiight. I meant to tell you. I had a dream and Harry wanted me to put Baby Jesus in this gianormous vat of custard. But I didn't want to do that. So I offered Harry my kinumph. What is a sodding kinumph?"
"A kinumph is very secretive."
"That's all I can tell you."
"That's all? No random fact about four livers or the ability to start fires using its pinky finger?"
"You'll figure out its true nature. But now, I'm going to eat."
"Fine. Leave me then."
"Farewell, Ginny. Enjoy your Teraphylinlycon."
History of Magic….bored…
Luna was no help. At all.
And that creepy boy is staring at me. The one from Ravenclaw. That stares.
Although, there isn't much to look at really.
When there are only six people in your class.
Still here….still bored…
It's all mum's fault. I blame her.
She didn't want me to do anything rash. So she settled on sending me back to Hogwarts.
And it just so happens that about half of the Order is stationed out here.
But I do plan to make my escape….
Oh yes. I do.
It's snowing outside.
My brain is dying….from boredom….
Luna is giving me a look. She keeps raising her eyebrows and tilting her head to the side.
Like a loon.
Oh. I get it. She's alerting me to lurker boy.
He's watching me. Again.
I know I'm good looking, but must he watch me constantly?
Harry would be fuming if…..
OBJECTIVE: To return Harry Potter to one Ginny Weasley.
OVERSEERERS: Ginny and Luna
TARGET: Lurker boy.
PLAN: Make Harry jealous by being seen constantly with Lurker boy. News should spread quickly due to numerous Order members.
NOTE TO SELF: Learn Lurker boy's real name. Could be helpful in acquiring target.
"His name is Andy, he likes chicken, and he enjoys playing Wizards Chess."
"Hmmm…I can work with that. I suppose."
"That's all I could get without being too suspicious. Much like the kinumph."
"I think I'll make my move at dinner. Make sure everyone can see."
"Thank you, Luna."
"Are you sure this will get back to Harry?"
"Well, maybe that's an 80 to 24 percent yes. But, it's a chance."
I popped in on the pretense of dropping off my bag.
Which is really code for "whoreing it up".
My plan must work. I want Harry to be in such a blind rage, that he come flying over here to get in a wand duel with my supposed "boyfriend".
That'd be soooo hot.
"Oh. Hello. You're that girl from Binn's class right?"
"Yes. I'm Ginny. It's nice to meet you."
"Would you like to sit down?"
"Why thank you."
"Er….I didn't mean my lap, but…um….we'll go with it."
"You have really nice eyes. Much better than green eyes. I hate people with green eyes."
"Oh. Well, I guess yours are pre-"
"Get your hands off of her now!"
A/N: I'm baaaaaaaack! Drop me a review! You know you want too...