Summary: Jack's thoughts in Sam's lab. Spoilers for Affinity. Sam/Jack. Unbeta'd.

I Wouldn't Be Here

If things had been different, I wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't be here to know that there was something wrong; to know that I should come to see if you were okay.

I wouldn't have known there was anything amiss.

If things had been different, I wouldn't be here. To see the slouch of your shoulders, the doubt in your eyes, the fine lines of tension on your face.

I wouldn't have known you well enough.

If things had been different, I wouldn't be here in the only way that is fair to you. I wouldn't be here as your friend.

I wouldn't have been strong enough.

If things had been different, I wouldn't be here telling you the words that will make you think that things are different between us; the words to set you free.

Even if saying I wouldn't be here really means I am saying that I love you.