Ok, so this really was just a poem I went and dirtied up for V-day, but then I decided I wanted to post it. Since there is no section for Dr. Seuss I had to get creative, so here is my absolutely blatant Green Eggs and Ham rip off, with Harry Potter inserts, or really Hermione inserts, if you want to get technical. Obviously I own nothing of this, so please nobody sue me. As always Reviews are appreciated and encouraged!

Happy Valentines Day!

Hermione sat in transfiguration and for the first time in her life she failed to find the lesson worth her attention. The reason for her inattention was the perfumed parchment roll she had secreted away beneath her desk, and was utterly absorbed in reading. It had been on her pillow when she woke that morning, and it had no signature. Though she had received it early in the day she hadn't had the chance to look at it in detail until this point. What she read managed to confuse, amuse and fluster her all at once.

I ram Sam.

I wham Sam.

Sam I bam.

That ramming Sam!

That whamming Sam!

I do not like that Bamming-Sam!

Do you like to wham and ram?

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

I do not like to wham and ram.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there.

I would not like it anywhere.

I do not like to wham and ram.

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

Would you like it in a house?

Would you like it with a mouse?

I do not like it in a house.

I do not like it with a mouse.

I do not like it here or there.

I do not like it anywhere.

I do not like to wham and ram.

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

Would you eat out in a box?

Would you eat out with a fox?

Not in a box.

Not with a fox.

Not in a house.

Not with a mouse.

I would not eat out here or there.

I would not eat out anywhere.

I would not eat, or wham and ram.

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

Would you? Could you? In a car?

Eat it! Eat it! Here you are.

I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like it. You will see.

You may like it in a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like it in a box.

I do not like it with a fox.

I do not like it in a house.

I do not like it with a mouse.

I do not like it here or there.

I do not like it anywhere.

I do not like to wham and ram.

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

A train! A train!

A train! A Train!

Could you, would you, on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in a box.

I could not, would not, with a fox.

I will not eat out with a mouse.

I will not eat out in a house.

I will not eat out here or there.

I will not eat out anywhere.

I do not like to wham and ram.

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

Say! In the dark? Here in the dark?

Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train.

Not in a car. Not in a tree.

I do not like it, Sam, you see.

Not in a house. Not in a box.

Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.

I will not eat out here or there.

I do not like it anywhere!

You do not like to wham and bam?

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not, with a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.

I will not, will not, with a goat.

I will not eat out in the rain.

I will not eat out on a train.

Not in the dark! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! You let me be!

I do not like it in a box.

I do not like it with a fox.

I will not eat out in a house.

I do not like out with a mouse.

I do not like it here or there.

I do not like it ANYWHERE!

I do not like to wham and ram!

I do not like it, Bamming-Sam.

You do not like it, so you say.

Try it! Try it! And you may.

Try it and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be,

I will try it. You will see.

Say! I like to wham and ram!

I do! I like it Sam-I-am!

And I would eat out in a boat.

I would eat out with a goat…

And I will eat out in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in a car. And in a tree.

It is so good, so good, you see!

So I will eat out in a box.

And I will eat out with a fox.

And I will eat out in a house.

And I will eat out with a mouse.

And I will eat out here and there.

Say! I will eat out ANYWHERE!

I do so like to wham and ram!

Thank you! Thank you, Bamming-Sam!

Your Secret Admirer

She almost snorted aloud as she shoved the note back into her bag, "secret admirer", did anyone actually say that anymore. Nevertheless, she couldn't help casting a furtive glance around the classroom for any hint of who it could have been from.

Fin.