Rating – PG
Source – Anime
Pairings – Filia/Xellos
Summary – Normally, something like that could have been brushed off. But with a mazoku like Xellos, things get complicated.
Author – Mistress DragonFlame
Notes – Thank Nicci Rockdad for this story—she PMed me saying how she missed my writing, and how she was writing a V-day story. I had just randomly started this not a few hours pervious, with no intention on continuing it. But after that, I whipped it up into a nice one-shot. And no, I can't explain why it's titled the way it is, as I have no idea myself.
On white's day, March 14th, I will post Xellos's point of view.
In a huff, Filia stormed into her bed room and slammed the door with a resounding bang. She couldn't believe she just did that, and she further couldn't believe Xellos's reaction. Filia growled, leaning against the door for much needed support. This was her house, dammit, and he had absolutely no right to be in it, on it, or even near it. But he, at least once a week, always showed up throughout the years she had known him. And now he—she—! Gah, she just refused to believe it. She groaned now, putting a hand to her face. She had left hurriedly, and fled to her room. She was just glad Xellos hadn't ever intruded upon her personal space in here. Not once in all the time she had been living in this house had he stepped a single foot into her sanctuary. She would have chocked it up to all the wards she had around her room just so she wouldn't wake up to a nasty Mazoku surprise in the morning, if it wasn't for the fact she put them all around the entire house and he broke through them anyway.
Sighing, she pushed away from the door and made her way to her small closet. She was trapped in here for the rest of the night, might as well get ready for bed. Or she would have, if not for the mazoku priest that suddenly appeared in front of her, causing her to jump nearly out of her skin. He appeared just like he had all throughout her knowledge, same hair, same clothes, and gripping the same wooden staff in one hand. The sight of him and his staff this time however, made her instantly nervous.
"You're not getting away that easily," He said tensely, "Tell me what you meant by that."
"Get out of my room, Xellos." Filia hissed at him, backing away slightly. The hard grip he had on his staff was not helping her stress level regarding the incident.
"Don't avoid my question, Filia-san." He sneered, taking two solid steps towards her. She froze as if glued to the spot, and she peered up at him as he seemingly towered over her. He wasn't much taller then her, but at that moment, she might as well had been half her height. "Tell me."
"I meant nothing by it, now get out!" Blue eyes flashed dangerously, glaring up at him. Purple iris opened to meet hers, and her breath caught at his look he gave her, eyes hard and mouth pursed in anger. The staff was carelessly dropped to the ground with a wooden clatter, and every muscle in her being tensed as tight as they could go in fear and panic. She dropped her head, flinching heavily in preparation, but her feet were seemingly glued to the spot, stopping her in her tracks before she could even attempt to bolt away.
Xellos's hand came up, and ghosted over her face, but she could feel his fingers on her aura as if on flesh, searing a path carelessly. His hand danced around in an almost caressing manner, along her cheek and jaw line till he came to her chin. She raised her face up as he brought his fingers closer, avoiding his touch but following his silent command. Her nostrils were flared and she breathed heavily through them, her mouth clenched almost painfully. Her heart thudded fast and hard in her terror. Under normal circumstances, she wasn't scared of the infamous Beast Priest, no matter what he had done or could do. Even now, with the knowledge he could cause her pain beyond knowing, or kill her in an instant didn't faze her. But these were not normal circumstances, and it wasn't death or pain she feared.
"Do you realize," He said, and she felt both of his hands come up to hover over her arms as he took another step closer, invading her personal area. "That when someone tells a lie, dragon, human, beast person or even mazoku, their aura flickers, ever so slightly. You can... almost feel it, actually." At that, his hands moved around to her back, clawing at her energy. "And if you're close enough, you can even taste it." And if a physical thing, she felt the parasitic tendrils lick along her astral prowess, like the night swallowed the moon in a starless sky. His entire being was wrapping around hers, devouring her, but still unable to touch her; forever separated, darkness and light. It was a wholly humbling and terrifying experience.
Filia gasped, her heart stuttering, as she felt Xellos's breath along her neck. He breathed into her skin, from her jaw to her shoulder, but never touching. Not a single hair had he displaced, not a single brush of flesh did he instigate. It drove her almost mad, the anxiety of waiting, and she whimpered in the back of her throat as she shook from terror.
"Do you fear me, Filia-san?" He whispered against her, his hands slowing down their pace, stroking her aura in a lazy manner.
Filia didn't respond. She couldn't.
"I can taste your emotions. They are the most interesting concoction I've ever come across. Fear is in there, quite predominately yes, closely connected to something else, something more—buried deeply under other emotions." He took a deep, slow, sucking breath, as if drawing in her feelings by that alone. "But, regardless, though it is present, you do not actually fear me. You fear something else, connected to myself, but not actually me. I don't think you've ever really feared me before, in any way, no matter what I had done or could do. Now that it's there, especially since it's indirect, unique... It's intoxicating." He said in a rush of breath, as if that was his main purpose in life. A drug addict describing his obsession to the newest and best narcotic.
Filia whimpered again, her trembling increasing with each moment. She wished no more of her life right now, then to get away from him. To go somewhere where he could not go, he could not reach her. To go back and erase what she did, so this situation never came about in the first place. She wanted to break down and cry, to curl up in a small ball and disappear from this world. She never felt so vulnerable, exposed before. She felt stripped and naked before him, left bare and open to Xellos's cold examination. She almost, just almost, wished for him to kill her right then and get it over with.
A moment of silence passed, the only sound being Filia's trembles and shakes causing her clothes to rustle against her. In the seconds of quiet, Xellos's hands closed in on her back, getting nearer and nearer to touching her. She leaned as far away from them as possible without touching his chest in front of her, but he pressed on even after she could not risk moving forward anymore. The slightest, lightest touch she had ever received in her life before to her back sent a giant bold of energy through her, and she jumped out of reflex, straight into the unmoving mazoku who quickly wrapped her up in his arms. And though she suddenly found an abundance of energy, using it to struggle to free herself with every last bit of her strength, far beyond the point of caring that she was currently begging him to be let go, she remained trapped within his embrace. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she sobbed, breaking down when she realized it was useless. She placed her forehead on his shoulder, hiding her face from him and stopping her thrashing, her hands gripping the cloth of his shirt. He was silent, simply holding her to him as gently as keeping her to him allowed, but remained unmoving as the moment continued and she wore herself out.
"Filia," Xellos whispered, as her cries died down. A hand came up and cupped her cheek, raising her face to him once more as she nearly choked on her dying sobs. His thumb stroked away the wet trails of her tears idly, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. "Look at me."
Filia shook her head, not trusting her voice as she swallowed the last of her cries. But it was a weak shake, as small as a twitch of a cat's whiskers. Her eyes remained tightly shut, the occasional tear falling, but she forcefully evened her breathing, calming herself down.
"Filia, look at me." He said again, with a bit more sureness in his voice, and she found herself hard pressed to disobey it.
Blue eyes, watery and heavily lidded, barely peaked open to look at him. The first thing they saw, were the blank eyes of Xellos. Purple irises, baring a crude similarity to most all dragon eyes in their slitted, triangular design, were as expressionless as stone, and just as seemingly deep. She would have thought they were in a doll's body instead of the infamous Trickster Priest, if it was not for the fact she was still very much ensnared within his embrace. Her arms still strained against his chest, trapped against her own in a near painful way. She might as well have been attempting to move an entire mountain range in one shove.
"You have been acting very oddly lately," Xellos said, voice calm and as devoid of emotion as his eyes. His hand moved to the other side of her face, wiping away the trails there with his knuckles. The soft lavender leather brushed lightly, in a soothing manner but she paid it no heed, keeping her attention focused on the mazoku before her. "We have known each other for decades now, but for some reason, two months ago, you burst into tears at the very sight of me." Filia swallowed heavily, remembering the incident, but held her tongue in check. "While not a first experience for me, it certainly was surprising coming from you, especially since the last time I left before then nothing particular had happened between us. You were extremely distraught, and didn't stop until well after I had left. The next two visits were the same, but you never told me why. I have to admit, it was slightly perturbing for me, so I attempted to correct it. And then, the very next time I appear, instead of crying, you very viciously attack me. I hadn't seen you that blatantly and illogically angry at me since the very first time we met. I was very confused at the response, as previously I had behaved very properly, comforting a crying, selfish, rude dragoness!" Xellos snorted lightly, saying it a little snidely as his hand traveled from her cheek to the back of her neck, lacing through her hair and securing that she wouldn't look away.
"The next time I came prepared, but instead of attempting to maul me again, you just were all moody, sullen even. You made sure I knew quite intimately that I was unwelcome, and heavily hinted that I should leave and never return. Concerned," he gave a brief quirky smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "I appeared every day for a week instead. You eventually got out of the rut, but then you tried to ignore me in every sense of the word. By then I was assured you had become possessed by something judging from all the estrange behaviors in such a short time frame, but while I began to plan on how to best collect Amelia to exorcise you, you became normal again, like nothing had ever happened. A month went by, with daily visits to see if you had a new emotion of the week, but nothing happened... until now." He tilted his head to the side slightly, eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion as he regarded her.
Filia could feel her pulse speed up in fear again, hating the fact he was so observant, that he knew. Now, she admitted that it would take someone like Gourry to not think something was up by the way she reacted, but for him to realize what happened on the roof was abnormal for a dragon? She both hated and feared him for it.
"Tell me why that happened, Filia-san." He said quietly, his eyes blissfully closing once again.
"I..." She swallowed thickly, clearing her throat lightly from her crying. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she gritted her teeth and bit out, "I was... happy, ok?"
Xellos said nothing, continuing to blankly watch her and wordlessly refusing to let her go. The silence was pressing, and she quickly found herself elaborating.
"I don't know why I was happy, up there on the roof, but it means nothing! I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about it, anyway." She adverted her eyes, gazing at the wall just past his head, unable to fully turn from him.
They lapsed into silence, Filia pleading silently to each and every deity she knew for him to accept the answer and just leave. But, of course, the gods for some reason hated her, and he remained where he was.
"You lied twice. Just now." Her heart jumped and her eyes snapped forward as he leaned forward, lips merely centimeters from her own before diverting, following her jaw line and down her neck, never touching. "You do know why," His head moved back up, retracing his path till he was nose to nose with her again, her breath caught in her throat.
"And it most certainly does mean something."
Her lips pursed, unwilling and unable to respond. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears, and her hands fisted solidly onto his cloak. Her fear and uncertainty bled into anger as the quite drew on, and soon she found herself glaring up at him. "So what, then? It doesn't matter regardless. You're mazoku."
He did one good, solid, decisive blink, as much as he could with his eyes already closed, and then gave her a look—the kind of look that one dreaded to get, because they knew they just made a fool of themselves while they believed they had everything figured out. His lips tugged upward in a smile, and he threw her words back at her. "So what?"
Filia's eyebrows bunched, and her blue orbs glittered in obvious confusion. "But... you're mazoku." She said, as if that was her only reasoning. "Things don't work like that."
Xellos gave an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head in mock pity at her confusion. "Filia-san, Filia-san, Filia-san..." He perked up again, a wide grin across his features. "Why do you think I've been visiting you all this time? Surely it's not because I enjoy your tea that much. I know you're smarter then that."
Face twisting into even more confusion, she groped for an answer in the darkness of unknowing he suddenly blinded her with. "Because..."
"I don't visit Amelia-san or Zelgadis like this. I don't even visit Lina-san as much, and I am required to occasionally look in on her. In fact, other then my Mistress, I'd say you are the only other thing, mazoku or otherwise, I have ever seen as frequently of my own free will, or even of my Mistress's will, for that matter." He giggled slightly, smug with himself for some reason.
"But..." She looked deeply into his smiling face, searching for any deceit or even a hint of trickery, but finding nothing more then a grin. "But why...?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, passing it off as something non-consequential. "You fascinate me, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. I have dedicated years of my own time to try and figure out what was so special that caught my interest as surely as you have, but I'm no closer to finding the answer now as when I first started. You're not the most powerful, beautiful, intelligent, special, rare, or even unique creature I've ever encountered. You have a dull life of running a weapons and vase shop with two old, fumbling idiots as servants. The only thing remotely special is the fact you're raising the last ancient dragon, which in itself, not very intriguing to me. But I still wish to know. I want to know what you're up to, I want to know if something happened while I wasn't there, I want to know you're your plans are, hell, I even want to know how you're feeling and why you do. So I come as the urge to know fills me, and leave when I am satisfied. And I find myself interacting with you, instead of just observing from the astral plain. It's irresistible to me to pass up on interacting with you, seeing how you go about things with my added presence or comments. It's fascinating, and I don't plan on giving up my little hobby any time soon." He smirked a quirky smile, obviously relishing in her unconcealed shock. "I guess it can be considered the mazoku equivalent of what happened earlier, if you want it to. Only possibly shorter lasting."
Filia swallowed again, peering up to him. Her eyes burned, but she refused to let the tears fall again. She started trembling once more, both terrified and enormously pleased with his admittance. Before, she never knew quite how he felt about her, and it ate at her. Now she knows he has as much positive feeling towards her as a mazoku can, but she also realizes it's a very dangerous thing to have. What could possibly be more terrifying to a dragon then to captivate one of the worst mazoku to ever appear in the world? What if he suddenly grew bored with her and killed her? Or killed her just so he wouldn't have to deal with this 'fascination' any longer? Or for him to suddenly kidnap her and lock her away in some hole where he could do anything he wished to her, to sate his curiosity, and there would be no forms of escape?
In reality, she was only trading one worry for another. The worry of what he felt for her, for the worry of him loosing or gaining too much interest.
"What's going to happen now?" Filia asked in a small voice, not breaking her gaze and feeling drained from the rush of emotions she had experienced in a short period of time.
Xellos's smile softened and he titled his head to the side slightly and tapped a finger to the side of his mouth. "I guess the same thing that we've been doing," But his expression didn't last long, as a wolfish smile made it's appearance, and his other hand wrapped around her back, drawing her closer then before as his face dropped closer. "Except that now I'll have a new method of interaction with you."
And for the second time in all of their exchanges, both violent and semi-friendly, his bare flesh touched hers as he sealed her lips in a kiss.
"Ah, so this is where you've been hiding, Filia-san." Xellos's voice drifted out of the darkness, floating towards her on a soft breeze.
Filia groaned, disappointed he found her hiding spot. She wanted to be alone, but of course that was denied to her. Grumpy that her peaceful moment had been ruined, she looked over her shoulder towards the priest who approached her, silent as a shadow. "What do you want, Xellos? Can't you see I'm busy?"
Xellos dramatically rolled his eyes and bowed mockingly to her, "Oh, forgive me from interrupting your stargazing. Who knows what kind of destruction has happened now that you are no longer doing it." He plopped himself down on the ledge next to her, setting his staff leaning against his improvised seat and letting his legs dangle off the edge. "And for what I want, I was bored. My mission is in a lull, and there's nothing else to do."
Filia looked at him a moment longer, before turning away to look back at the beautifully glinting stars. "Hn," She said absently to him, relaxing as the calm night washed over them both. The air was slightly cool, and the town was asleep around them, the only noise being the soft whisper of the wind and the music of the night creatures. It was times like these she was glad she had chosen a relatively small village to set up shop in, declining Amelia's invitation to reside in Seyruun. It would have been convenient for Amelia's lessons in the Holy arts, and there would have been a steady flow of customers, but Filia didn't think living in a big city was for her.
Looking at the twinkling lights dotting the dark sky, Filia yawned as she absently listened to Xellos chat on about something or other. It must have been a very boring day at the office, she thought dully, if he was complaining about it to her. 'Or very frustrating,' she amended as she watched his face twist as he moved his hands about, vividly describing something she didn't care about. She'd much rather not know of his dirty mazoku schemes and deeds, thanks. She knew that he knew that too, but did that stop him? Oh no, of course not! He'd tell her just to annoy her, if nothing else.
She sighed, forcefully clearing her thoughts of the demon. She bit back another yawn, realizing she should probably get back inside soon. It wasn't that late, but it was the end of autumn, and she partly depended on the warmth of her environment for energy like all of her race. The air was not cold enough to see her breath, but it didn't do much for her to fight off the doze coming on.
Her eyes drooped slightly, her mind blank of all thoughts. Xellos's words blurred to mumbles, but his tale wasn't important anyway. She focused on his voice, listening to the way it rumbled slightly, how it blended in so easily into the darkness around her. She found herself smiling softly and closing her eyes, enjoying it as it washed over her. It was times like these, in the peaceful atmosphere, that she allowed herself to take pleasure in his company. He was annoying, he was disgusting, rude, selfish, and evil, but she somehow found herself in love with him anyway. Dragons were different then humans when it came to love. Humans could fall in and out of love very easily in comparison, though sometimes there was a couple who would stick together as long as both were alive, but they were rare. Dragons lived much longer, and their courtship was much more difficult. Where it took from a month to a year for a human couple to get together to form a basic relationship, it took a male dragon decades to get anything other then polite distance. But the outcome of such courtship, if the male was able to woo the female, the female would forever be loyal to that one male, regardless to what happened between them after it. He could leave her, he could cheat on her, he could beat her, but she'd never leave him, be unfaithful to him, or seek retribution for the rough treatment. So when she found herself in love with the Trickster Priest, it was safe to say a very large and horrifying shock.
When she realized it, she became so distraught that she cried at the very sight of him. Then she had the stupid idea if she used force, he'd leave and she'd forget about him, that it wasn't really love she felt. After that didn't work, she attempted to drive him away using other means. The plan backfired and things got worse as he appeared every day instead of once or twice a week, so she gave that up and just ignored him, hoping he'd disappear. That didn't work either; he just did more and more annoying things to try and get her attention. So she finally gave up, and just accepted it. She was in love with him, he wasn't going anywhere, and that was it. She didn't have to do anything different with him, so she didn't. Things went back to normal, though he had yet to stop his daily visits. She found herself not really minding, though he did eat a lot of her food and drink half her tea.
Taking a deep, clean breath, she found herself unbelievably content at that moment, and with no real reason not to, she gave into a more basic instinct and thrummed softly. It was only something that only female dragons could do, and they only did it in two circumstances—when greeting their hatchlings after being gone for whatever reason, or when alone and feeling particularly affectionate towards their chosen mate. It told when they felt loving, at the utmost content and at ease, and was just pleasing on a subconscious level to do, and male dragons willingly fought in wars for the thrumming of a female. Her eye lids drooped closed, and her head was heavy, so she relaxed and allowed herself to fall to the side, leaning against the purple haired mazoku who was still adamant about something or other.
It actually took her a moment to realize he had stopped talking, and moving. Vaguely wondering what was wrong, she sleepily looked up to see him looking at her with a curious expression. They stared at each other, time seemingly freezing for them. Then his hand came up and cupped her cheek, and his face loomed a little closer before pausing a breath away from hers. She didn't really see anything wrong, so didn't do anything to stop him, and he spanned the remaining distance, his lips gently closing over her own. Her eyes slid shut again, her thrumming continued as they, for the first time since knowing each other in thirty six years, actually touched skin to skin.
But suddenly her mind snapped to attention and she flung herself away, her thrumming instantly screeching to a halt. She backed away a good distance, eyes impossibly wide, and her mind on full alert. Holy shit, did she just—and he just—?! She stared at him, heart pounding in her ears. Open purple eyes looked back at her, locking with her own blue orbs and it felt as if someone dropped a chunk of ice down her throat and into her belly. He knew. Xellos knew what she had just done, just admitted without words!
Her whole body tensed, her jaw set and she spun on her heel and stiffly stomped back into her home, almost fleeing but too angry at herself to run. She didn't want to face him at that moment, so she headed to the only place he never went—her sanctuary, her room. There she would hide until the morning after, berating herself for doing something so stupid and pray that Xellos wouldn't make a big deal about it. He was mazoku, anyway. He wouldn't care if he had a small female gold in love with him if it didn't get him anything for his mission or Mistress.
Angry at the thought, and at her self, she silently cursed the high heavens and slammed her bedroom door shut with a resounding bang.