D/C: I don't own Harry Potter.

Hello!! Well, this is the first poem I wrote for Harry Potter, and I'm really excited about it. I originally was writing it for a poetry contest (which I really hope to win!) so I'd be really grateful if you told me whether it was good enough or not. Enjoy!!

Desperate Measures

"Hermione, babe,

Will you chug down thee?

The browned-haired lass looketh

She grimaces and screwethes thy nose

At the murky brown liquid

Ron was offering to thee,

And she shooketh her head vigorously

"By God, Hermione,

I've worketh my ass off

To make this bloody drink for thou

I beg thou to not turneth me down."

Hermione frowneth at him

"Dammit, gentle sir!!

Thou cannot expecteth me

To drink that sickening water!!

I beg thou to get it the hell out my face!"

Ron sighethes and shookethes his head

"I beg your pardon, babe,

But you've left me no frickin' choice."

He puteth an arm around the waist of

The lovely babe and pulleth her

Against him and kisseth her.

Hermione is shocked,

But it's been a while

Since she last got snogged

And giveth in to the red-headed hunk.

They finally breaketh apart

And they looketh at each other.

"You are one sexy lady, ma dear,"

Ron telleth her.

She smileth. "And you, me love,

Is one helluva kisser."

Ron chucklethes, and pointethes

At the murky brown liquid,

"This was a damn Love Potion,

By the wee."

A/N: Well, what did you think? It was pretty funny, wasn't it? I really liked the idea of using slang with the original Shakespearean way of speaking! So, anyway, if you did like it, would you please review?

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!!!

- S. N. B.