fic: Edward Elric and the Philosopher's Stone 1/?
Title: Edward Elric and the Philosopher's stone
Author: Seraphim Grace
Archive: if you want it ask.
Feedback: Always appreciated and replied to.
Rating: PG-13.
Pairings: Eventual Roy/Ed
Warnings: Crossover, crack!
Spoilers: Will follow both the Harry Potter books and the FMA universe (anime!verse)
Synopsis: The Amestris government have discovered the whereabouts of a possible philosopher's stone and dispatch the only agent they can to get it, because after all it's at a school and only one person is young enough to be a student.

The house in Reisenburgh was a warm and welcoming structure, a merry fire burned in the grate and several of the windows were lit up by merry oil lamps. Lord Voldemort, the most feared wizard in the magical world, stood at the bottom of the path looking up. Beside him, one of his most loyal servants, Lucius Malfoy, checked the list. "This is the Elric house," he said, "the baby is one of those indicated by the prophecy."
Voldemort gathered his will about himself like a dark shadow and began the climb. He used magic to fling open the door and found himself in an empty hall meaning any effect that the magic might have had was wasted, he listened for a moment and then threw open a second door to the parlour. Inside a small woman sat on a plush couch drinking tea. She had a sour face, as if perpetually sucking on a lemon, and her hair had been gathered up in a small knot. She was patently not the mother, or in this case, the father. Voldemort, cursing under his breath acknowledged her, "excuse me, madam," he said calmly, "I am looking for,"
"Trisha Elric," Malfoy supplied calmly from his side.
"She's changing the baby," the woman said, "however, the father is just outside, but he's due back at any moment, we can go get him if you like, Trisha's likely to be busy for a while."
"It's no bother," Voldemort smiled, "I can wait."
"Excuse me," a deep voice behind him rumbled, "what is it exactly that you want from my wife?"
Voldemort turned around and found himself staring into the chest of a tall golden man with a strong jaw and well groomed beard. He swallowed, no one had mention that the father of this baby was Hohenheim of Light, one of the foremost wizards in the world, one that could use magic without a wand, and that he would be here. "Just dropping off my congratulations." Voldemort squeaked.
"And it's nothing to do with that prophecy, Riddle" Hohenheim said, "that your arch nemesis would be born under a strict alchemical sign."
Voldemort swallowed. "No," he managed.
"but sir," Malfoy managed.
Voldemort didn't see the fist that levelled him, nor the kick in the ribs that flung him from the door, but he did see the door slam shut behind him and Hohenheim shout "and don't come back."

Malfoy came up behind him, helping him to his feet, "well, sir," he said, "I think we can safely assume that that wasn't the baby." He started dusting him down. "And besides, someone mentioned that it was a girl."
"Oh yes," Voldemort drawled gathering up his broomstick, "a girl called Edward."
"really?" Malfoy asked, "I thought it was called Winry, never mind," he unfurled the list, "The next one is in Xing."

Voldemort discovered, just outside a palace in Xing, that a broomstick was a wonderful thing to strike one's subordinates with, not only did it hurt it made the most satisfying noise it had the advantage of being able to catch him under nostrils, in ears and eyes. "You fool," he said, hitting him again and again with the broom end, "that one was a girl."
"Yes, sir," Malfoy managed from under his forearms, "I understand sir,"
"next time, Malfoy," Voldemort said, bringing down his broomstick, a nimbus 1500, "I'm bringing Bellatrix LeStrange, at least she checks things first."
"I completely understand, sir," he took the list out of his pocket and checked it again, "we're in luck now, sir," he said, "there are two on the list here, in Britain, we can take them out on the way home."
"Names, Malfoy," Voldemort snarled, "I need names."
"Well, James and Lily Potter have had a little boy, and the Longbottoms."
Voldemort sucked on his tongue as he thought about it, "the Longbottoms are both aurors," he said, "and my ribs hurt, we'll take them out in the morning when I've had some sleep, we'll deal with the Potter boy first."

James Potter caught the worst of Voldemort's rage at the door with a well aimed Avra Kedavra curse that actually made the dread lord feel somewhat better. He stepped over the corpse and up the stairs to the nursery. Lily Potter was pretty enough when she was scared, her baby was in the cradle playing with a mirror. Voldemort released the death curse and watched with horror as it struck the mirror the child had moved and hit the holographic light show and split in two. He cursed as one bolt grazed the child to kill the mother and the other came right at him.
It really hadn't been his day.
Lucius Malfoy walked in on this just as his lord fell down appearing to be dead and did what any good subordinate would do in his place, he took off just as fast as he could.