Title: Edward Elric and the Philosopher's stone ?/?
Author: Seraphim Grace
Archive: if you want it ask. I just want to know where it is.
Feedback: Always appreciated and replied to.
Rating: PG-13.
Pairings: Eventual Roy/Ed
Warnings: Crossover, crack!
Spoilers: Will follow both the Harry Potter books and the FMA universe (anime!verse)
Synopsis: The Amestris government have discovered the whereabouts of a possible philosopher's stone and dispatch the only agent they can to get it, because after all it's at a school and only one person is young enough to be a student.

The Hogwarts express looked like the kind of train that was usual in Amestris, rather than the sleek noisy screaming ones that were over the rest of the station. There was a group of adults in long black cloaks stood in a huddle smoking foul smelling cheroots as the entire platform, pointed out to him by a very kindly woman in a long wool coat and a cloche hat, milled with children.

They were all sorts of ages from younger than Ed and Russell, who had been enrolled a year under their suggested grade because they had no idea what to do with this magic stuff that the school taught. They ranged to mostly adult, but watching over them were the tutors that looked as if they too lived on herbal stress remedies.

"Sir," a particularly spotty oik with bright red hair and a bright golden P stitched on his sweater, "parents don't have to stay."

The spotty oik, a ginger prefect, looked at Armstrong and then the two boys, then at Roy with a smile. "I'm a teacher." Roy said.

The boy's spots glowed as red as his hair. "Oh, I'm sorry," the prefect said, "I thought that you and he," he looked at Armstrong, it was a long way to look up, but the major was suppressing, as best he could, the pink sparkles, but it obviously didn't matter. "The teacher's car is up front." the boy said, nodded and fled.

And Roy had just been thinking that it might help his acne if he set him on fire. He had reached the very end of his tether, and sometimes one just had to make do.

"Percy," another red haired boy said pulling at the boy's cloak, he was covered and freckles and Roy was not in any way surprised that the boy was called Percy, he looked like a proper Percy.

"Everyone," one of the teachers said, stubbing out the cheroot under her boot with a crash of bright purple spanks and green smoke, "onto the train, come on, come on," she waved her hand. "come along prefect Weasley, lets make sure we don't leave behind any of the first years."

"First time." One of the other teachers asked, his pockets jingling with glass bottles, "you must be the new teachers, come along to the teacher's car, I have plenty of liquor, we'll be at Hogwarts in no time." The teacher was a snakey looking man but he had saved Roy from travelling for several more hours with Elric, he could have been the devil himself and Roy would have followed him into hell to avoid another journey with Elric.

"Come along, come along," the female teacher said ushering them on, "everyone get a seat, so the train can get going, come along, first years to the back, first years to the back."

Edward lifted his cat carrier, with skinny black cat, and followed Russell, with his white cat, unto the train. "Is someone sat here?" Russell asked popping his head into one of the cabins. A girl with a shock of frizzy brown hair, who was already wearing her school uniform, unlike Ed and Russell, and a rather drab looking boy.

"No, come in." The girl said, looking up from the big thick book she was reading. The boy had a toad in a glass box with no top on it. "I'm Hermione," she said, "and this is Neville."

"I'm Russell," Russell told her, "and this is Ed."

"I've heard," Hermione said, "that Harry Potter is somewhere on this train."

"And?" Ed asked. "Can I look at your toad?"

Standing up he reached into the box, lifting him with his metal hand, the toad shrieked, something Ed hadn't known that they do, and jumped at his face, Ed jumped back and threw the toad up in the air. The toad screamed again, landed on the train table with a flat squelch and then dove through the door as it opened to show a blonde boy.

The toad screamed again, the boy screamed and jumped and quickly found himself on Russell's knee as the toad made its break for freedom.

"My toad." Neville shouted and tried to dive after it, but squished in at the window he tried to reach past Hermione but the boy with the white blonde hair was in the way and then, just to make it worse, if it was possible, the tuck lady barged in with her tray, "want anything to eat or drink boys," she looked at Hermione, "oh, lucky you, all these pretty boys."

"And Longbottom." The pale haired boy said bringing himself to his feet.

"My toad!" Neville cried.

"I don't have toads, I'm afraid, I have chocolate frogs."

The pale haired boy went to push the trolley out of his way but the tuck lady kept him wedged in, "you must be young Malfoy, your mummy told me all about you," the boy went pink, he was so pale that he turned cerise.

"Let me out," Malfoy said.

"My toad." Neville shouted again.

"We'll help you look." Hermione said standing up, "won't you boys?" Her eyes were like a chimera's hard and firm. "but yes," she told the tuck lady, "we will have some chocolate frogs for later, and some cheese sandwiches."