Inside The Madhouse
Fandom(s): House MD
Summary: Foreman walks in on his fellows to find them plotting revenge against House, and decides to take it in stride.
Notes: I don't own House MD or any of the characters from the show. Written as a challenge from wasabigirl1 LJ. This fic? Is cracktacular. Enjoy!
Foreman had his head down, reading the file that Cuddy had passed on to him this morning, It was House's next case, and it looked like the patient was suffering from some sort of neurological disorder, with paralysis in the upper extremities. All in all, an interesting case, something Foreman was fully engrossed in. For this reason, he was taken aback when he walked into Diagnostics and finally lifted his head from the medical chart in his hands.
It took a moment for speech to return to him. The sight before him was so... "What the hell are you guys doing?"
Chase didn't even look up from what he was doing. "Exactly what it looks like we're doing: exacting our sweet, sweet revenge."
"This is insane! You do realize he's going to kill the two of you, right?"
There was a smirk on Cameron's face that reminded Foreman all too much of House himself. "Actually, if he finds out we did this, he'll fire us. Then he'll kill us. With his cane, mostly likely. Don't worry, Foreman. Cuddy and Wilson are covering our asses as we speak, ready to stall him before we have a chance to get out of here."
Foreman shook his head, boggled at the vision set out before him. "And here I thought the two of you were ones with the irreversible Stockholm Syndrome. What's with the sudden retribution against House? And why now?"
Cameron shrugged, wiping her hands on her lab coat. "No reason. We've had the idea for months now, to prank him." Her smile was pleased. "No time like the present, after all."
"Which is what makes this so bloody cool; he won't see it coming at all." Chase added, straightening and surveying his work with pride. "I can't wait to see his expression."
Foreman frowned. "But how can you see his expression if you don't want to be here when he comes in?"
"Wilson rigged a closed circuit monitoring system in here, see?" Chase pointed up to a tiny hole on the wall near the door to House's office. "That's a camera. House won't notice, and we can watch the entire spectacle from Cuddy's office."
Foreman shook his head in disbelief. Cuddy and Wilson were in on this too? Were they out of their minds? Sometimes, he envied his brother. At least there were less idiots in jail.
"Well, I guess I can understand why you've all gone through with this; it is an obvious insult to his ego."
"Thanks." Chase said, beaming slightly. "We got the idea after he kept making those jokes about his masculinity."
"You're welcome." Foreman replied seriously, focusing back on the file in his hands. "And for what it's worth, I think the best part of this crazy scheme is that soon I'll be the only person with a fellowship in the Diagnostics department."
Before they could reply, Cameron and Chase's beepers went off simultaneously. They checked them and identical looks of fear and excitement crossed their faces.
"He's coming, let's get the hell out of here." Chase said, rushing to the door. He was already gone when Cameron turned back to look at Foreman questioningly.
"Aren't you coming with us? Wilson and Cuddy have the whole thing set up on closed circuit television in her office. You can watch his reaction from afar."
Foreman shrugged. "I had nothing to do with this, why should I be afraid of his reaction? Besides, I have a case." he said, holding up the file.
Cameron looked at him a moment longer then nodded as she followed Chase out. "Suit yourself."
He was stirring his coffee when House walked into his office, stopping in his tracks when he caught sight of his work area. Foreman had to admit, the look on House's face was indeed priceless, mouth agape slightly as he took in the sheer amount of pink and red sparkly fabric and tissue paper that now adorned every nook and cranny. His portable television had been wrapped in pink crepe paper and the screen covered in red cellophane, decorated with gold and silver stars. Ditto for the computer screen. The carpet was covered in a fine sheen of iridescent sparkling powder, and small butterflies and stuffed bears were dangling from the ceiling on fuzzy pink strings. It really was an impressive display that Chase and Cameron had cooked up... if one was a twelve year old girl.
House caught sight of Foreman next door and hobbled over. "I'm going to assume that as the only colleague of mine without a sense of humour, you weren't a part of this ridiculousness."
Foreman frowned. "I have a sense of humour. Just one that doesn't involve stuffed teddy bears and powdered fairy dust as a means of revenge."
House glanced back at his desk with a glare that Foreman couldn't help be amused at. "This isn't revenge, this is cruel and unusual torture. But you know what this means-"
"You can use this against Cuddy as a means to get out of clinic duty?" Foreman replied, sipping his coffee.
"I was going to say that it's the perfect opportunity to get Chase down on his knees to clean everything up, but I like your idea much better." House headed back out into the hallway, a triumphantly determined look on his face.
Abandoning his coffee, Foreman got up and rushed out behind him, the file in his hands. "House, we have a case. Thirty-two year old male presents with paralysis to the upper extremities, fever, ataxia, and-"
House slowed down and glanced at the chart briefly. "Get him started on high-dose immunoglobulins and a plasmapheresis."
"But you didn't even-" Foreman began to counter.
"Was he infected with Campylobacter recently?"
Foreman read through to the end of the patient history. "Actually, yes."
House nodded, confirming what he had already known. "This guy's got Guillain-Barré syndrome."
"But Guillain-Barré presents with ascending paralysis, not descending." Foreman interrupted.
"As I was going to say, before you cut me off so rudely, was that he's got the fun version of Guillain-Barré: Miller-Fisher Syndrome." House explained, pressing the button for the elevator. "Bad Foreman, no biscuit for you. Hmm, I should probably store the canine jokes for when Chase is cleaning up that mess upstairs, don't you think?"
Foreman sighed. "I'll start the treatment."
The elevator door opened and House stepped inside. "And I'll go harass Cuddy... I love my job!"
The door closed and Foreman rolled his eyes, heading towards the patient's room. And while he took pride in the fact that he was doing his job, there was a small part of him that really wished he had gone with House. Watching all four of his colleagues go up against House was something he actually regretted not seeing. Who said he didn't have a sense of humour?