Disclaimer: I don't own any of the "Psycho" characters mentioned here.
A/N – Dear readers, this is the sequel to Marion's story, this time told by Norman's point of view. Another very special thank you to smithsbabe65 for inspiring me to submit this sequel to the site. I will be updating regularly. Enjoy my new story!
Chapter One – Beyond Help?
Sunday, August 20th 1961, 1am
It was about one in the morning, when I was lying in bed and looking out of the window next to me at the full moon outside. I always enjoy looking out of the window at night. It relaxes me. It's what Marion taught me to do when I feel scared or nervous, or when I can't get to sleep. And I spend lots of sleepless nights, and I often feel scared or nervous, about thoughts of the past that keep coming back to me, or even thoughts of the present when I look at Marion. I'm not scared of Marion; I would never be scared of her. I'm scared for her. I'm scared that some time, any time really, even right now, I could go back to what I was before. I could go back to being a killer and I could even…I could even kill Marion. I know that I can. But what makes me feel even worse is that Marion knows I can as well. She knows that even though I'm better, even though I can understand what's wrong with me, I'll never be cured. Never completely cured. And yet she still stays with me. I've often told her that she's very brave, when she knows that technically I can kill her at any time. She simply replies that she loves me and that she'll always love me, however ill I am, and she'll continue to help me until I'm completely better.
But the fact is that however much I try, I can never be completely better. I've often urged Marion to leave actually, even though I know that now I can't possibly live without her, without her help and her love. She says that she'll never leave me, that she would never dream of leaving me. To hear that makes me so happy, but it also makes me so sad. What makes me sad is the fact that I can't believe that Marion would do all this for me. Stay here and waste her life in this remote and desolate place, even risk her life, just for me. She still hasn't realised that I can never completely rid myself of my mother, and even though I can think for myself, my mother always thinks for me afterwards. It's like she's giving me a second opinion or something. It usually happens when I'm having second thoughts about something. That's how I always think of it, as having second thoughts. Only they're not really my thoughts, and there will never be only my thoughts that go round and round in my head. It's true, it doesn't happen as much as it used to those days when Marion first met me, but it still happens occasionally. It happens mostly when Marion isn't talking to me, when I can't hear her voice to make my mother's voice go away. Like now, when we go to sleep. I can hear nothing right now, only the sound of Marion breathing softly beside me. And that comforts me, it comforts me a lot, but only when I hear Marion's honey sweet voice, only then can I stop thinking of my mother and just relax. Marion has helped me so much – ever since I saw her, I knew that she would be the person to help me, to make me realise what I had done. Lots of the times now I'm only myself, I don't even hear my mother's voice. But the rest of the time I can't help hearing it, even with Marion there. I've got irritated about it a lot, about the fact that I can never escape from her.
And tonight wasn't any different. As I was still lying awake, I was scared that I'd start hearing her voice again, telling me terrible things, and even telling me to kill Marion, even though I know that I would never do that. Marion told me how to block out Mother's voice from my head. She said that when I do start thinking of her, I should clear my head and just think of nothing, and that would make Mother's voice go away. But that rarely works. Sometimes Marion's presence alone can even make it go away. But not always. Right now as I looked at Marion lying beside me, I tried to concentrate only on the fact that she was there, and not on anything else. That helped a bit. But that wasn't enough. I wanted Marion to talk to me, to tell me that it was all right, and to erase my mother from my mind once again. Was she asleep, I wondered? If she is, I'd better not wake her up. She had such a peaceful look on her face that for a moment I felt a lot better. But that never lasts very long. After that, all these thoughts started to come back to me. I gently squeezed Marion's hand and brought my lips close to her ear. "Marion?" I whispered softly.
"Mmm?" Marion mumbled vaguely and smiled at me, keeping her eyes closed.
"Are you awake?" I whispered again and stroked her hair gently."Yes," Marion said and opened her eyes. "You can speak to me."
Hearing Marion's beautiful voice again made me forget everything that I was about to tell her. And I didn't even want to tell her anything. I simply wanted her to talk to me, to continue talking for a long time, or at least to comfort me.
"Are you all right, my love?" Marion whispered when she saw that I hadn't spoken for a long time. Her face looked concerned when she saw my worried look, and she gently stroked my cheek with the back of her hand. I took her hand and kissed it, holding it tightly. "I'm fine," I said finally, smiling weakly at her. "I just wanted to hear your voice, that's all."
"Have you been thinking of your mother again?" Marion asked worriedly.
I hesitated a little at first, but then I nodded. "Well, a bit," I said apologetically. "I just can't help it, Marion. Every time I've got nothing else to think about, her voice comes back into my head. I can't stop it, no matter what you've told me to do. It just keeps coming back."
Marion didn't say anything, she just looked at me with a pitying look on her face. "Don't look at me like that, Marion. I can't bear it," I said sadly.
"I want it to stop, you understand that I really do want it to stop but I can't make it stop. I told you that whatever you or anyone else does I'll never be completely better. Do you think I enjoy what happens to me?" I interrupted her kind of angrily.
"I'm sorry," Marion said quickly. "Please don't be angry with me. I'm here to help you, remember? You're always all right all through the day, but at night…"
"During the day you're always there. You're always talking to me, and drowning my mother's voice away. At night you just lie there, and I can't go to sleep, I can't go to sleep without you talking to me or at least trying to take my mind off it. I always hear my mother's voice and I can't bear it."
I was almost in tears by now. I wanted Marion to comfort me, to tell me that I didn't need to worry, even if it wasn't true. I didn't want her to just be like every other person who's ever tried to help me before, every other psychologist I used to talk to years ago, long before Marion even came here, who were expecting me to do all the work myself. No one can help me in that way, not even Marion. I love her with all my heart but I just want her to help me, to understand what I'm going through and to be sympathetic about it. There are times when she is, but other times it seems that she doesn't understand me at all. As I said I've asked her to leave many times, but she won't. I keep telling her that this is never going to work, that I can never have a proper relationship with a woman because she's always in danger around me. But it's partly my fault anyway. When Marion and I first got together I didn't try to stop it even if I knew it wouldn't work. And I did know that this couldn't possibly work, not like this. I always knew that. But Marion says that no matter how dangerous I might be she'll always feel safe when she's with me, but I think she was just saying that to try to make me feel better. But she still insists that it will work, she says that we love each other and that's all that matters. She says that one day I'll be completely better, and she'll never stop helping me and supporting me. I really hope that that's true.
Marion finally spoke again. "I'm sorry, Norman. I really am trying to help you. Even if I don't speak to you, you know that I'm always here, don't you? I'm always taking care of you."
"I know, but…but I just can't stand the fact that you're always so…so brave, and so…so patient with me," I said sadly. "I mean, you know, I've told you a thousand times that it's…it's just not safe to be with me. You helped me realise what I've done, but that's not enough. I can still turn into my mother again at any time. You know that, don't you? And yet you still stay with me. Why, Marion? Don't you want to have a normal life instead of trying to help me make mine normal, when you know that it will never be normal, no matter what you do? It's just the way I am, and no one can change the way a person is, not even you. You've given up your whole life for me, when you know that maybe I'm beyond help any more. I mean, you…you've helped me so much, much more than anyone has ever helped me before and I love you for that, I love you more than anything. But however much help I get, I've realised that it will never be enough to make me better."
"Don't talk that way, Norman," Marion said firmly. "It will be enough, and I'll never stop helping you. I can't possibly leave you now, after all this has happened. Someday, it will be enough. I believe that you can get better, and you have to believe that too. And that's not all. You also have to believe that I can help you to get better. Don't you trust me, Norman? You said yourself that you love me. Don't you believe in me?"
"Of course I do," I insisted eagerly. "I always have. But you must understand, and I'm saying this for your own good, that it might be better for you to leave. Why don't you?"
"Because I care about you, Norman. I love you too much to be able to leave you like that. Why can't you just give me a chance to help you to get better? It's almost as if you want me to leave sometimes," Marion was almost shouting now.
I realised that I had upset her. Marion can get upset very easily, kind of like me. I sighed deeply and put my arms round her. "I'm sorry, Marion. I really do want you to help me; I would never want you to leave. I'll try and believe I can get better, I really will try, but…I'm just not sure. I've never been sure about anything. That's another thing that my mother did to me, making me never be sure of anything at all. But now…the only thing I'm always sure of is the fact that I love you so much and I do want your help, I really do."
Marion calmed down and moved even closer to me. I held on to her tightly, not wanting to let her go, trying not to forget that she was there, not to let my mind wander onto anything else but her presence in the room. We were both silent for a while.
"You should try to go to sleep now, Norman. It's really late," Marion said finally.
"What about you?" I asked her.
"I'll stay awake, and watch over you. Don't worry, I'm used to staying awake at night. Don't worry about anything now. Don't think of your mother, just clear your mind and go to sleep. And don't forget that I'm always here," Marion in a reassuring way.
It was true, Marion stayed awake a lot of the time when I was asleep, to watch over me. Again I felt sort of guilty for not letting her go to sleep, another thing that I've ruined for her. But then I think that maybe it's better this way. It might even be safer for Marion this way. She'll be the one in charge, if I ever wake up and start thinking of my mother again, she'll be able to make it stop. So I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep.
"Are you still here?" I whispered to Marion.
"Always," Marion whispered back. When I felt her arms round me, I felt safe and loved again. This time I forgot all about my mother, and finally I drifted asleep.