First Zelda, tell me if I'm any good, would you?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Link walked through the Castle Town, stopping at shops and looking over the merchandise of

various street vendors. The streets were abuzz, couples flocked to and fro, streamers and heart shaped

decorations filled the air and trimmed the streets. Midna watched with confusion from Link's shadow,

what were those strange light-dwellers up to now? Why would the stain their living places with those

hideous arrangements of guady pink and red? Pairs hopping by like sugarhigh skidders, was there

something in their water supply? Even her host it seemed, was engrossed into it. As he walked into an

area with less people, she popped up in front of him.

"Link? What's going on?" she asked. "Why is the town covered with..." she shuddered. "HEARTS?"

"Huh? Well, it's Valentine's day." he shrugged.

Midna stared at him blankly.

"...Don't you know what Valentine's day is?"

Midna snorted. "Why would I know about some day you light-dwellers get high on?"

"Well..." Link rubbed the back of his neck.

"And why are you LOOKING at those horrid heart-decked gifts?" Midna demanded.

"I'm looking for something for Ilia." he blushed. "I mean...she remembers me now, so..."

"Ilia? Why are you getting her something?" Midna asked, confused.

"Well...on Valentine's day, guys...get girls gifts...if they like them and stuff..."

Midna scoffed. "Oh? So you don't like me? Is that it? Is this some way to tell people you hate them?"

"Huh-? No! No!" Link shook his head. "Guys give gifts to girls they...LIKE like..."

"Like-like? Isn't that an ancient Hylian monster?"

"You don't understand." Link blushed. "Valentine's day is"

Midna stared. "Love? You have a holiday for LOVE?"

"Well...yeah." he shrugged. "Don't you?"

Midna shook her head. The only thing close to this 'love' day they had in the Twilight Realm was

'Morkshalik Eve', in which they showed affection by slapping each others face. Midna recalled one

such eve when her father had slapped her through a wall. Good memories, such good memories...

"No. Of course not." Midna huffed. " LOVE that Ilia girl?"

"Well..." Link blushed a deep red color.

For some reason, this made Midna angry.

"What's so great about her? Huh?" she huffed. "What's she ever done for you? Huh? Aside for getting

herself KIDNAPPED and making you go out and save her, what's she ever done?"

"Just calm down, it's not that big of a deal-"

"What? So you'd rather be around her than me?! Why is that?! Because I'm short? Because I'm a

TWILI?! Is that it?! You like the tall HUMAN girls?!" Midna huffed.

"Midna I- I didn't say that!" Link paled. "It's just- I don't like you that way!"

"Oh." Midna hissed quietly. "I see. Well then, since she's so SPECIAL I guess I'm not needed."

"Huh? I didn't say anything like that Midna-"

"Shut up!" she snapped, her hair glowing. "I'm just as good as ANY girl!"

With that, the Twili warped away, leaving Link alone and in a state of confusion. Midna appeared in the

Mirror Chamber and stormed up to the mirror. They had already defeated Zant, now all that was left

was to save Zelda, however, Link had gotten caught up in that 'Valleyrines' or whatever day. The twili

wandered into her realm, and sulked toward the castle.

The twilight princess warped to her throne room, then plopped onto her throne, sighing.

"Stupid Link with his stupid little 'human' girls..." she griped. "What do they got, that I don't got?"

Well, besides being more than two feet tall, she thought. And the fact she was flat as a board, and that

her legs were stubby little nothings. She sighed, if she was in her REAL body, Link would be after

HER, not those primpy little... Oh well...not like she could do anything about it... Well, even if she

couldn't do anything like that...she could STILL win him, if she wanted to, that is... What was it?

'Valentines'? They have to give each other gifts? Hm...she could make a 'valentine', just wait.

Midna teleported into her room and started searching her closet. At last, she found what she was

looking for. With an impish smile, she went to work.


Link sighed, riding on Epona for Kakiriko.

"Epona, why does she always spaz out like that?" he asked.

Not suprisingly, Epona didn't answer.

"I mean, she acts mad when I talk about Ilia, why is that?" Link asked.

Epona didn't reply, as she couldn't, but if she could, she probably would've said something along the

lines of : 'You dumbass! She's jealous! Gods! Men are so dense!'

"Hey, we're almost there- WOAH!"

Epona reared up, Midna having startled her by popping up in midair.

"AH! Midna-? What're you doing here-?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to do? Mope for eternity?" she huffed, then dissappeared into his

shadow without another word.

"Huh...? Midna, come on, I'm sorry." Link apologized.

He heard a snort from his shadow.

"Can't you at least talk to me?" he sighed.

Midna didn't answer, so Link ended up riding into Kakiriko by himself. The hylian made his way into

the sanctuary and up to Ilia... He took out the bouquet of roses he had gathered.

"Um..." He blushed. "Happy Valentines day, Ilia!"

The farmgirl yelped in excitement. "Link! You shouldn't have!"

The girl took the roses, blushing with a goofy smile on her face.

"You're such a sweetheart." she smiled, then kissed his cheek.

Link entered a state of being known as 'puppy love'.

"Uh...Okay..." he smiled, looking incredibly retarded.

"They're beautiful." she smelled. "Thank you SO much!"

The teen walked off to find a vase, Link wandered outside. Midna popped up.

"What's WRONG with you?" she asked. "You look like you've been brainwashed!"

"Uh...What?" Link asked stupidly.

Midna smacked him.

"OW! Hey! That hurt-!"

"Shut up and take this!"

Midna shoved an object into his arms. It appeared to be a black rock with green growing line, strung to

it in bands of twilight were two dead-looking, black plants.

"Uh...Midna? What is this...?"

"It's a 'Valentine'." she stated. "Duh."


"In my realm, the rock symbolizes happiness"

Link found the stone creepy, not happy, but he remained silence.

"And the two kral plants symbolize unity." she stated. "It's a gift of affection to my people."

"Really...?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Well...thanks. I guess..."

"I guess?!" she snapped. "Do you know how hard it is to get those plants?! I got them for my fifteenth

birthday and my parents had to look over half the Twilight Realm! I really liked them-"

"And you're giving them to me?!" Link stared.

"..." Midna shrugged, turning around in midair. "Yeah, so?"


" reason..." she muttered.

"...Thank you, Midna." Link smiled, putting his hand on her shoulder.

The white part of the Twili's face flushed red, her hair glowing.

"Um...Your welcome." she snapped stiffly.

"You must really like me, to give me something that means this much to you..."

"Well, duh, of course I like you-!" she snapped. "I mean, no I don't! I just...erm..."

"Well...I like you, to let you know..."

"REALLY-?! I don't say?" she asked.

He nodded. "You're one of the best friends I ever had."

Midna shuffled her feet, eyes downcast.

"'re not that bad either. Um...what is the custom you lightdwellers have? When exchanging

'valentines'? Hm...Oh! Yes, I remember...

Midna grabbed Link by the collar and then placed a big fat kiss on his lips.

"W-woah!" Link fell over, dazed.

"Did I do it wrong?" Midna asked, confused.

"Y-you just kissed me!!" Link yelped.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do...?" Midna scratched her head.

"Um- Yeah- I mean, no- but- um-" Link stammered, blushing bright red.


" do that if you love love."

"What is it with you light-dwellers and repeating words?" Midna asked. "In my culture, we don't do

this 'kiss' thing, we slap each other's face in an expression of affection."

" this?" Link slapped her face.

"OW!" the Twili held her face.

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to HURT you-"

"N-no. It's okay, really, it's good if it hurts."


"Uh-huh.." Midna nodded, dazed.

"Oh...well...thanks for the gift." he smiled. "Good night..."

Link headed back inside, leaving the Twili floating in midair, holding her cheek.

"...He hits hard..." she rubbed her cheek.

A dopey expression entered her eye, a fanged, idiotic smile came over her lips.

"Oh...what a guy..." she slobbered, drooling.

Link opened the door, she yelped, having been caught in her trance.

"Hey, you coming?"

"Um- Y-yes! Just hold on!" Link walked back inside. "Oh...Ilia's so lucky...damn bitch."

Heh, well, I had fun writing it, did you like reading it? Please tell me.