A/N: I don't own Naruto. I wish I did, they must make a killing off of it. But I don't. Also, this story is called "Shameless Self Insert" for a reason. If you don't like these I don't know why you clicked on it in the first place, but this is your chance to back out before you attain any physiological damage from the adventures of myself and my friends in the world of Naruto.
Once there was a boy. A boy by the name of Giten. Is just me, or is Giten a dumb name? Was I on crack when I made that name up? From now on he will be known as Damien. I like that name. Now Damien was a boy who had his problems, and he had his-albeit rare-moments of peace. Damien wasn't the nicest of people, and he was an orphan. He happened to have a deep and great respect for resilience. Damien also happened to be a Ninja.
"Does anyone know how we got here?"
"I think we have other things to worry about."
"Like what? We're in the middle of some random forest, apparently none of have any clue as to how we got here, and although it's relatively unimportant, I have to pee."
At this point the other girl spoke up, "I think she means the people who are totally behind you MoE."
This is probably a good time to introduce myself, I am MoE. Much to my shame I do act like around my friends, and under stress. You should see me when I'm scared, it get kinda ridiculous. My friends really do act like this too, you should meet us, we're a bit…odd. I like it, it's fun.
The girl, MoE, spun around. She had brown hair pulled back into two braids and was wearing a small-ish tie-dye tank top with loose jeans, faded at the knees. Resting on a dirty nose were a pair of glasses. After staring at the people for a few seconds, she extended a hand and said, "Hi, I'm MoE. We're a bit…lost. You wouldn't happen to have any idea as to where we are? Or any idea how we got here?"
The girl who'd spoken last brought her hand up to her head in an audible thud.
"What's the matter Alexis?" asked the girl who had spurred the action, surprised.
"For all we know they could be assassins who just murdered a king, and now that we've run into them they have to kill us so we can't tell anybody who did it!"
After observing them for a minute, the third girl said, "I dunno, they look all right to me."
"Well let's just ask them," said MoE, as if she went around asking people if they were assassins every day. After looking at them expectantly for a moment she asked, "Well? Are you?"
"Sometimes," said one of the boys, a really skinny kid who was way too tall for his own good. His comment earned him a glare from one of the troop, and he shut up.
"Told you!" shouted Alexis.
"They said, 'sometimes'!" retorted MoE.
"Are you going to kill us?" asked the third, ignoring the argument they two were having.
After a moment the glare-er said, "Not unless someone is willing to pay us."
As MoE and Alexis are still squabbling good-naturedly, the girl had to raise her voice to be heard, "So none of you have any idea how got here?" She looked best in the forest setting. She was wearing a black shirt with lots of white writing on it, it came over the top of her green cargo pants. Her hair was short and brown, although it was streaked with blond, and the cut accented her glasses.
"Not a clue," said Alexis, a bit too happily for the situation.
"I wasn't asking you," retorted the girl.
MoE stared at herself for a moment and said, "I just realized I'm not wearing the same clothes I was when I remember…before this."
"And it's not night either…" chimed in Alexis.
"And I'm not either of your neighbors."
"I was totally like 30 miles away both of you."
All at once the girls started exclaiming about the many weird things that didn't make much sense. They were completely oblivious to the to the four self-termed "assassins" as they watched the discussion. If said assassins had wanted to kill them right the, they totally could of. The three were not prepared for this sort of environment.
In didn't take long for the conversation to turn to what could have happened. "Maybe we were abducted by aliens."
"Or our memories could have stolen…or maybe something happened and we erased them ourselves."
Finally noticing the four were still there the blond girl, Alexis, asked, "Are you going to sit there and listen to us, or are you going to leave?"
"Don't be like that, we're probably the ones who showed up in front of them," admonished MoE. "Besides, they probably know their way around the forest and other important things…like where we are. And were the bathrooms are."
Alexis spoke up again, "They could be the ones responsible for bring us here."
"That is the biggest load of beetle-dung I have ever heard," stated one of them wryly.
"I guess that solves that then," said Amanda.
"But you do know where we are?" asked MoE. She got a nod from one of the girls, the one who seemed to be the oldest, "And you know your way around the forest?" Another nod.
"See, MoE was right," stated Alexis.
"And you were wrong," retorted Amanda.
"But the important thing is that I was right."
"You know, I feel a bit better knowing that your still yourself," speculated Amanda.
"Who else would I be?" she scoffed in response, "Are you not Ms. 'Manda? And are you not Ms. 'Lexis?" she asked with fake suspicion, gently poking them both while examining them closely.
Alexis gave a giggle or two, at MoE's prod but Amanda staged an elaborate "you stab my heart" performance, falling backwards. Which, of course, set all three of them laughing.
Finally, apparently not being able to sit by and watch the three laugh while he was confused, one of the travelers asked, "Who are you?"
The girl with the braids stated, "I'm MoE, remember?"
"And I'm Alexis," said Alexis, pointing to herself in what was supposed to be a dramatic way. She had blond-brown hair, made further blond by the big chunky highlights in her hair. She was wearing brown capris and a shirt which read, "Gimme All The Chocolate And No One Gets Hurt".
"Hi, I'm Amanda. Who are you?"
The four than introduced themselves, "I'm Chita," said the oldest, pointing to herself, "This is Damien," she pointed to the boy who asked them who they were, "And Miya," the second girl in the group, "And Noak," the boy who had denied the groups' involvement in the girl's arrival in this strange place. Jesus, they all have bad names. Who cares? The ones with the really bad names-like Noak-aren't really going to show up anyway. Probably for that reason. Noak, what in the blazes was I thinking?
Alexis squinted and took a few steps forward, "I know what you are!" she declared with a whoop, "Your Ninja! Hey MoE! Amanda! We're in Naruto!"
MoE and Amanda looked at each other, than Alexis, and then-just so they wouldn't feel left out-the Ninja. Finally MoE said, "I've read this fanfiction often enough-though never with Naruto-it doesn't turn out well."
"It doesn't?" asked Alexis, with a bit of surprise. "It seems a little scary, I suppose…but really really cool."
I, the amazing and humble authoress would like to take this moment to say that yes, myself and my friends are rather weird, and yes, if Alexis was dumped into the world of Naruto, she probably would act this way.
At this point the Ninja were understandably even more confused, but one-it might have been Noak-said, "Naruto? That guy from Conaha village Sensei said had that Nine-tails fox demon in him? What about him? Didn't he die like a kabillion-and-a-half years ago?"
"Oh!" Amada said, suddenly understanding, "Where we're from you guys are all-" she was cut short by Alexis who covered Amanda's mouth with her hand, and then started whispering furiously into her ear.
"We're all what?" prompted Damien. He was trying to look rather bored with the proceedings, and he would have succeeded if his red hair- pulled up into a bun- would have stopped getting in the way of his "I'm too cool for you, so I'm just going to lean against this tree" pose.
After blinking a few times, MoE said, "Respected. But…many don't think you really exist." After a few eyebrows raised, she clarified, "We're from really far away."
By this time Amanda and Alexis had finished their mini-argument.
"Ummm…do you know where we are?"
"In the middle of a deadly forest surrounded by gorge filled with lava," said Noak. After seeing their eyes-widen, and the disapproving gazes of his fellow Ninja, he added, "Just kidding, you're in a little strip of forest separating our village from the city, that's all."
"Though it can be dangerous here. We train here, and if you don't keep out of the way, you'll get hurt," added Miya. She seemed to be a bit of a shy girl, Although armed with the knowledge of what she was Alexis, MoE, and Amanda weren't exactly keen to test the theory.
"Any chance there's a Sorcerer, Enchanter, Warlock, Vampire, world-traveler, or vantu in the city?" MoE asked nonchalantly, coping Damien's "I'm-too-cool-for-you-so-I'm-just-going-to-lean-agienst-this-tree" pose.
"Wha-?" asked Alexis.
MoE leaned over so Amanda and Alexis could hear her and whispered, "If anybody can get us back home, it's going to be one of those."
"Those are all only childrens' tales," jeered Chita.
MoE blinked a few times before responding in a matter-of-fact way, "So are Ninja."
Which set the girls' laughing one after the other, none of them were quite sure why, but it was undoubtedly the funniest thing they had heard all day.
Tune in next time for the adventures of Alexis, MoE, and Amanda, in Shameless Self Insert!