Akatsuki in love?!?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the plot
I wasn't going to update this but then I had half an hour spare I couldn't decide what story to update so I decided, hey I'll update this on! Hope you like it! Oh, and the members that have died are still here ok? So this is the last chapter, finally over, if you have struck with me, I'm sorry it took so long and thanks for your support!
I hope no one is offended by modern day references, this is not meant to offend anyone and is all meant to be in good humour. However, supporters of Margeret Thather, the Ex-gay moevement, chmeistry and the evil villains in James Bond may wish to by-pass this fan fiction if they feel the content may upset them.
Operation: Fan fiction!
'Explain. Now. Please'
The Leader grinned.
'All in good time my dear Kakuza.'
He said in a very un-Leader like way that crept out Kakuza just a little.
'Ok a good time is now.'
The Leader unexpectedly announced and signalled for the group to huddle round in an evil planning like way.
'Well, you see, in that small but oh so deadly book, there is a story. This is the one story to rule them all, the one story to find them…'
'Get to the point sometime today please.'
'Wrong time of the month Kakuza?'
Tobi asked caringly. And was soon flying through the air.
'Ok, ok, enough in-evil gang fighting. It nearly destroyed the communist party.'
The Leader was loosing his patients as he tried against to explain his evil plan.
'So when Itachi finds the One Book, he will be unwittingly convinced that he has succumb to such a miserable fate that he will, for once in his miserable life shown what we classify as human emotions.'
'So what Leader-sama means is that whatever is in this book is going to drive Itachi crazy.'
Hidan explained to the rest of the group who were looking mildly confused at the Leader's long winded explanation.
'What he said.'
The Leader smiled.
'Now my pretties, the fun begins!'
Meanwhile Deidara had been flicking through the book, gawping more and more horrified as he turned each page. This was his evidence that Itachi, Itachi was…straight. Deidara grimaced at the mere thought. This book claimed to predict the future.
Now Deidara wasn't normally taken in by these thinks, sure, he may have believed the fortune teller that he would grow up to be a psychopathic murderer when he was little but that defiantly hadn't come true so he wasn't going to fall for the same trick twice.
The problem was that this book knew details about Itachi that only someone who spent most afternoons snooping around Itachi's room would know AKA him.
Meanwhile, back with Leader and co….
The Leader was now explaining in depth his grand scheme.
'In The One Book, I have included The One Story. The One Story is brilliant because I wrote it. Yes, my pretties, I wrote a brilliant and creative piece of art and I named it…Itachi and that pink haired one from Konaha get married and rule the world.'
Kakuza still wasn't quite there
'The point being…?'
Now the Leader was really getting annoyed. Why was he surrounded by imbecilic mentally unstable twits?
'That Itachi gets annoyed and we all laugh.'
Hidan added in a bored voice that could have rivalled Shikamaru's.
Kakuza stopped pacing the room and sat down; trying to think up another problem in the scheme, apart from the fact that it was down right stupid, had no point and would probably have disastrous consequences.
Apart from those he still couldn't find any life threatening situations. As all the other members started to get back to doing dastardly deeds that would hopefully rank them alongside some of the world's greatest criminals, you know like The Master, Margaret Thatcher and whoever decided chemistry should be so darn complicated, Kakuza continued to think. And think. And think. And at last it came to him.
He cried, a bit like Telemachus might have cried to the Suitors to leave his house.
And like Telemachus, no one paid him the least bit of attention. Though no one was plotting to murder him…yet at least.
'What if Deidara discovered the book-'
The Leader corrected before returning to ignoring him.
'Right, One Book then. What if Deidara…'
But he was cut off by a loud noise that normally meant…
Yes Deidara had just arrived, One Book in hand, with a look of shear panic on his face. But before he could speak, the Leader held up his hand and put on his best teacher voice.
'Dei-Dei-kun I can explain…'
But the rest was lost as Deidara started to gabble at a hundred miles per hour with how Itachi was straight (Yeah right, asexual more like), Itachi going to marry Pinkie from Konoha (As much chance Winston Churchill winning the next election) and how Itachi was going to rule the world (…actually, that's not too impossible).
It was then the Leader knew his brilliant plan had turned completely on its head. Why does that always happen to the best evil plans?
I mean take Hitler for example, that was, as evil plans go, pretty evil. And did it work? Well I think you can answer that one you're self. And think of Mussolini, one minute fascist dictator, the next thing you know, he's got a death day party planned with compulsory attendants.
The Leader sat back into his chair and sighted as he watched Deidara being sedated and escorted off the premises. He could have sworn he felt his hair greying by the second with all these failed evil plans. There much be some secret, he though, to pulling off the evil plan. The only problem was, no one seemed to know the secret. Not that 'super cool but completely evil soviet spy in James Bond'. Maybe he should just plan a communist revolution instead; they always seemed to work…
Meanwhile, Itachi was still happily (well as much as it possible for a human robot!) daydreaming of the day he ruled Sweden.
And it was that moment that the Leader came up with his and totally foolproof, totally evil, totally deranged evil plan…quickly calling everyone round, he spent a good 2.5 hours building up to it before announcing…
'We shall join the Ex-Gays movement.'
Finally over! Sorry if I insulted anyone in this, and thanks to everyone who has read this, sorry the last part was such a long time coming! I love you all!
Love from Jyra